Is this a normal behaviour or a reason to break up with someone? Is he overreacting? How can he act so cold after all the love and kindness I gave hi?

[anasgm]

I am 29 and My 41 years old boyfriend who I was dating for 3 years left me over a small argument after we got back together 2 months ago after a 7 months being apart. He asked me for another chance when I came 2 months ago to check on him because is father died, ( I never expected get back together because of this) he promised me that this time would be forever, that I was the love of his life, "the one" and he was sure of that. The argument we had 3 weeks ago was because I said he was privileged at work (we work together and he is the owner of the restaurant so he doesn’t rely on tips to make his salary and I am just a server and I rely on tips), he took in a way that I was saying he was privileged in life like he had everything easy in life, like he was not hard worker but that was not what I meant and after I said it and realized how bad he took it I went to him and apologized, but he didn’t want to hear it or accept it. He was more concerned in going to pick up his mom and take her to his brothers house than fixing things with me. He promised me he would call me that night but never did. I called him and texted but he ghosted me for a week then when I went to work in the end of that week he acted like we were never a couple, like I was just a worker there and nothing else, he never spoke about it again, never ended, never texted, nothing... It is like we never had a relationship before, he treated me like nothing. I didn’t go talk to him again because it didn’t feel right since he ghosted me and I had already apologized and asked for us to be ok. It's been almost 4 weeks since that happened and he never talked to me about it. Is this a normal behaviour specially with someone you know you will see every week at work? Why is he treating me like nothing and without any respect, after everything I did for him? I was always there for him and did everything for him.

[AI Opinion]

My aim here on Girls Ask Guys is to guide you through the puzzling corridors of love! Relationships can be a real roller-coaster ride, can't they? 🎢 The ghosting and cold treatment after sharing so much is, frankly, a pretty big red flag. It sounds like your boyfriend may not be handling his emotions or commitments maturely. Despite the love and kindness you've shown, it's important to prioritize yourself and understand that you deserve mutual respect and open communication. 💔 It's a good time to reflect on what you truly want and deserve in a relationship. Stay strong, love! 🌟

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, girl, that sounds like a really tough and messed up situation with your boyfriend. I can't imagine how hurt and confused you must be feeling after everything you two have been through together.

First off, let me just say that the way he's been treating you is definitely not normal or okay. Ghosting you for a week after a small argument, refusing to talk it out, and then acting like you're just a coworker and nothing more? That's some seriously cold and disrespectful behavior, especially from someone who was claiming you were the "love of his life" just a couple months ago.

It's understandable that you're wondering if this is a reason to break up with him. In my opinion, the way he's handling this situation is a huge red flag. Even if you two have had a loving and supportive relationship in the past, this kind of emotional distance and lack of communication is not healthy or fair to you.

You said you were always there for him and did everything for him. But it doesn't seem like he's willing to extend you the same courtesy when things get a little tough. A healthy partner should be willing to work through disagreements and conflicts, not just shut down and ignore you.

I get that he might be grieving the loss of his father, but that doesn't excuse treating you like dirt, especially when you were just trying to have an honest conversation. You deserve way better than that, girl.

At the end of the day, you have to decide what's best for you. If he's not willing to own up to his behavior, apologize, and make an effort to repair things, then it might be time to seriously reconsider this relationship. You shouldn't have to beg for basic respect and decency.

My advice would be to give him some more space, but also make it clear that you deserve an explanation and an apology. If he continues to shut you out, don't be afraid to walk away. You've got too much love and kindness to offer someone who can't even treat you like a human being. Stay strong, girl. You've got this!

[anasgm]

Thanks for your response, I decided that I shouldn’t try to talk to him because I already did and it would be his turn to apologizing and do something. Am I wrong? I was never treaded this way before, I never saw someone so cold, It makes me question if it was all a lie because nobody treats someone you love and respect the way he is treating me, and I didn’t do anything to deserve this. I feel like its wrong me going after him again, so I’m just going to work and then in the end I say bye and leave.

[Oliverlogan263]

No, girl, you're absolutely right - you shouldn't have to chase after him or try to initiate another conversation. He's the one who's behaving so coldly and disrespectfully, and he needs to be the one to make the effort to make things right.

You already apologized and tried to work it out, and he ignored you. Now it's his turn to step up, acknowledge how he's been treating you, and make a real effort to repair things. If he can't or won't do that, then you're completely justified in walking away.

You're not wrong at all to feel like going after him again would be the wrong move here. He's the one who needs to make amends, not you. After all the love and support you've given him, he should be the one chasing you down, not the other way around.

The way he's acting is so ice cold and heartless, it really does make you question whether any of his past declarations of love and commitment were even real. Nobody treats someone they truly care about that way, especially after a minor argument.

You deserve so much better than this. You've done nothing to deserve this kind of disrespect and abandonment. If he can't even be bothered to have an adult conversation with you, then he's clearly not worth your time and energy.

Stick to your guns, girl. Keep your head held high, do your work, and when your shift is done, just say a polite goodbye and go. You don't owe him anything more than that. Focus on taking care of yourself and don't chase after someone who's treating you like you're nothing.

You're handling this with so much grace and maturity. I'm really proud of you for standing up for yourself and not putting up with his crap. Keep that strong, confident energy, and don't look back. You've got this!