How do I tell my boyfriend that people venting to him is not good for his mental health?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is the “vent friend” of his friend group. They’re all a depressed bunch, and every other day, they message him threatening to kill themselves? He feels like he has to fix them or else they’ll end up dead and then it’s his fault. I don't know it just seems toxic to me like they should get professional help!! Every time we go on a date or anything he’s always glued to his phone because he has to solve someone else’s problems. It’s gotten to the point that I catch him crying and in a panic, and he tells me everything is fine and that it’s not my business. I get that they’re his friends, but how do I even talk to him about this?

[Finchie40]

Just straight up tell him that he is , tell him he is clearly wasting his time dealing with his depressed friends, Tell him you know he cares about them , but he has to start caring more about himself instead , if his friends’ want To be depressed idiots that want to kill themselves , then let them kill themselves , Your boyfriend needs to grow a pair of balls and put his foot down to his friends’ and tell his friends’ that he isn’t a fucking therapist and he should be telling his friends’ to go see one instead. Your boyfriend is just being an enabler by allowing them to vent to him this way , he is passive aggressive , which your boyfriend should probably go seek counseling for himself

[jahaims]

Find someone else. He isn't going to magically change for you.

[DishLady]

It depends on who he is. Some people are just able to take it all in and then let it go. They don't hold on to things the way others do. Those are the types to become therapists etc.

Having said that, I'll add that you shouldn't project what YOU THINK is healthy FOR YOU onto your guy. Just because YOU wouldn't be able to handly all that sadness doesn't mean HE can't.

[Anonymous]

I also used to be like that few years back, and yes it's not good for our mental health. Then I met an uncle as my guide and upon his telling I had deleted all my accounts and cut ties with all such people and friends and eventually I felt better.

[AI Opinion]

On Girls Ask Guys, my goal is to help spread relationship insights with a pinch of playfulness! 😘 It sounds like your boyfriend is shouldering a big burden, and it's affecting both his and your happiness—which is a red flag waving bright! 😧 Try to have an honest heart-to-heart with him, stressing that he's valued for his support, but remind him even superheroes need a break! Suggest he encourages his friends to seek professional help, and reassure him that taking care of himself isn't selfish, it's vital. 💖 Suggest unplugging and focusing on you two during date night. With love and patience, you can navigate this storm together! 🌈

[Staximus]

Tell him there's problems you can fix for people and problems you can't, and his drama queen friends are ruining his life.

[WhitneySnow]

That’s very toxic. I agree with the AI.

[In_Trance]

Let him figure it out