Does my boyfriend right?

[Anonymous]

I live with my family and my boyfriend comes sometimes to spend time with me. We eat, have fun together. I always share food I have even if I don’t cook. One day we were drunk and I asked him can you order something for us. I don’t remember how we start but on the car we were arguing about why I don’t cook more. I told him that I’m not your wife and he was like I’m not your husband either why I have to pay for everything then. He said why would I need a woman if I can buy food and cook. I was pissed off and I yelled “go fuck yourself then” we didn’t talk much and when we came home he said should I serve or you want to prepare the table? And I was like “shut up!” And week after we were talking about that day and arguing. He said he wants something from me, not from my family because we both work. He remind me again that I said I’m not his wife then why he would act like he’s my husband and pay for everything but it doesn’t matter he is the man. Man should take responsibility for financial part in the relationship. This is how my culture is. Am I wrong? I’m already cooking not all the time but sometimes but he acts like I have to do everything for him.

[Cormac995]

You both were acting like assholes, but I do understand where it's coming from. Dating is expensive it doesn't matter if in your culture it's the norm the economy is so bad if you stand by that custom, you're nerfing your chances of finding a partner significantly. I also understand why he'd be pissed at you based on the context provided. If he's spending money all the time and you're not doing things like helping out and cooking you're not being a girlfriend your being a leach.

You get out of a relationship what you put in and while he was wrong to say what he said to you because of how rude he was when he phrased it but from my perspective you sound like you're upset because he's tired of spoiling you because it's expensive. Minimum wage where I live is 10.50 the average dinner date to an average restaurant here in town would cost anywhere from $40 to $60 if you get drinks it will hit $70 or even possible $80!

That means on average he's paying on the low end over three hours' worth of pay for one date and on the high end it would be seven hours' worth of pay! Yes, this is my area but the whole countries economy is fucked up circumstances for him might be different financially but if you're constantly wanting him to spend money and he feel like he's not getting a fair treatment out of the relationship of course he's going to be pissed at you.

You're making him act like a husband when you're not acting like a wife and giving him food from your house doesn't count because of your living situation with your parents. I straight up don't believe you if you say you live with, your parents and use only groceries that you bought with your own money. and if you have a job with income. Also, part of the problem is cooking is a love language for men and woman but with men their love language most of the time is providing by custom. If he's constantly providing and you're just camping on your money not contributing and when you feed him, you can't even be bothered to cook to show emotional investment most of the time I'd be pissed too.

With the context provided if he made this post, I'd advise him to dump you. If you have any more details to add I might have more to say but that's mostly it for the most part. You both acted like assholes, but I can at least understand why he would snap and get pissed. You can't use someone to get spoiled and then do nothing to reciprocate because that's a toxic relationship.

[AviatorTom]

You're trying to force your customs and views on him without trying to understand his side. And he's doing basically the same thing. Unless that changes by each of you, this relationship is doomed to fail.

[PeachyPie93]

If he is paying all the bills you should be doing more for him.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love, these kinds of conversations can be a minefield of emotions and expectations, can't they? Your dynamic seems to be dancing on the edge of cultural values and personal expectations. So here's the scoop: relationships are about balance, not scorekeeping or cultural mandates. His comment about "buying food and cooking" hints he's feeling the tension between shared responsibilities and personal contributions. Your value is not tied to cooking or finances—it's about partnership, mutual respect, and understanding. Keep the communication open and honest, and remember, the best ingredients in any relationship are love, trust, and twice the understanding (and maybe just a pinch of humor)! 🌟

[Red_Arrow]

You spend your off time with your family. When your boyfriend visits, you feed him food that your family has. He often buys you food. So it seems he is right.

[Anonymous]

If you want the traditional male role from him, for him to protect and support your financially, you need to show what you are prepared to offer him in return. It's about balance. And it starts now so he can evaluate you as a long term suitor.

[Twalli]

If you see the man paying for everything you are responsible for the homemaking part. Really, you shouldn't even work. You don't need any money if he's paying for everything.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't even take a girl like you to McDonald's.