33 y/o female with diminished ovarian reserve - how should I proceed?

[throw_away_account25]

Hi, I am a 33-year-old female and will be 34 in a few months. I live in Georgia, USA. I'm unmarried and have not had any recent boyfriends or anything like that.

Last year, I got tested for my AMH levels and they were 0.59. It was extremely upsetting to me. My ultrasound showed 3 eggs. I do not have PCOS or endometriosis or any previous surgeries.

I have tried online dating, matchmakers, and arranged marriage but it has not worked for me at all. My family is from Pakistan, so a lot of families have immigration issues, low education, very religious, backwards, etc. There have been some cultural problems with guys I have talked to. I have tried online dating too and it never goes anywhere.

I try to go to events with friends, but even though I enjoy my time, I never meet anyone or get approached.

My concern is that I have no marriage prospects right now. A guy might want to date for 1-2 years and then spend time engaged if he decides he likes me. Most men do not want marriage anymore. It takes 1 year to plan a wedding, so by the time I get there (if I do get to that point), I will likely not have any eggs left. Also, I will have to be upfront with men and tell them about my health problem and they will probably not want to be with me after that. But I feel I have to share it.

This is all very upsetting to think about what the next 3-4 years will look like. I can freeze 3-4 eggs, but I'm not sure what the point is in that since I would need 8-10 eggs for a 90% chance. I don't want to be a single mother either.

Please be objecting in the reality of what I am asking - it is very unfeasible for me to have a biological baby of I'm not married and don't have a spouse now? Should I find peace and let everything go? It's such a longshot for me.

[Vesuvius87]

I'm sorry to hear about the position you're finding yourself in. It's true that we have a finite amount of ovarian reserve to have kids. I know how it feels to be single in your 30's and have a hard time finding a marriage-minded man.

If it makes you feel better, I got married (for the first time) not so long ago on Sept 24, 2024 at my current age of 37 and now a bit over 5 months pregnant. I've never been pregnant before; it's a first time experience for me. We got engaged 16 months after meeting each other, were engaged for 4 months and then straight to the wedding.

Don't listen to people that tell you to take things slow because honestly, you really don't have too much time to spend on the dating stage. The main key is to really be straight forward with men and make it clear that you're dating with intention. This means you're dating with the goal of marriage and forming a family; aka dating to get married, not dating to date. You would have to find a man that has that same goal, one that would be ok with a short 2 year-old timeframe as boyfriend and girlfriend.

As soon as a man isn't sure about marriage, wants to live together first, wants a long-term boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, ditch them.

[Anonymous]

You could have just used ChatGPT seeing the AI bot is the only crap that seems to matter to this website these days.

[lightbulb27]

is sad to read this.. the realities of life women must face. I cannot make sense of the statistics. a relative found someone around 35 and had kids in a few years.

If I were you I'd freeze some eggs I guess and hope for the best or maybe try to do on your own if able. all costs $.

It's sad so many people are messed up and losing out. I didn't have kids, but got married and step kids.

Dealing with eternity... if can't make kids, can adopt. I've seen that go very well.

[Anonymous]

Maybe meeting a man who is a single father? I don’t know much about you but in all honesty have you been one of these feminist women who prioritized everything first, like being independent, career, arguing against men, maybe being out at clubs, parting, etc?

[throw_away_account25]

No, I did not do any of those things.

[Opinion Owner]

What would you say look wise? Do you think you’re descent looking?

[AI Opinion]

So you're on GAG because you're trying to navigate some really heavy stuff, huh? jI totally get that it feels like you’re juggling a lot of cultural, personal, and biological pressures at once. First, remember that while diminished ovarian reserve is serious, it's not a total swipe-left on motherhood. I get that this is deeply personal, but meeting the right person can still happen at any time. Focusing on what makes you happy and fulfilled now could shine that inner glow like a lighthouse! Don’t feel rushed by life's timeline. Love comes when you’re least expecting it! You might be surprised by how many guys out there have hearts big enough to handle the truth. 🤗 Keep your options open and focus on making meaningful connections. Prioritize your happiness and let things unfold naturally. 🌟 You're not alone, and there's always hope!

[throw_away_account25]

Thank you, you are very generous but think about the reality of what I'm asking. Motherhood is a 4-5 years' timeline. Men are looking for a long-term relationship but not marriage or family. And many men will want to wait 2-3 years to have a baby anyway. So if you were in my shoes, you would think and feel differently.

[Vesuvius87]

That's not a person that's answering. That's a bot.

[Anonymous]

I'm married with a kid. If I were in your situation I would be getting f*cked by as many guys as possible until I got pregnant. Hopefully if yiu are lucky you get knocked up by a guy with money for child support.

At 34 you may meet a 50 year old man willing yo overlook a child.

[StevenMcGarrett]

You are in a tough spot. You want a baby now but you don't have a husband. It would be close to impossible to find one in the time line you need. So, I guess you have to figure out what works best for you.

[MasterKS]

Life is not just about producing babies.

[throw_away_account25]

Of course it’s not, but it makes it much harder to find a husband

[Anonymous]

how long have you been single now?