I hate everything about myself, what can I do?

[TrumanPh]

I was diagnosed with really bad depression, and anxiety when I was a kid, and I think it’s too late to fix my problems. I take meds and go to therapy, but no dice. Since starting college around 1 1/2 years ago I haven’t hung out with anyone, played video games with friends or anything like that. That’s not new, I never did much before either, but I was forced to be social by being in HS. Now that I’m not forced to be social I just don’t socialize. I’m not an introvert, I’m just shy. I like being around people and having friends but I’m too awkward most the time to make a connection. I always assume people would much rather not speak to me. I’ve also always desperately wanted a relationship, but I’ve never even been on a date. I’m a decently likable guy and co-workers/classmates seem to enjoy talking to me, but I can never turn that into anything romantic or platonic. Which has led me to believe that I’m uglier than I used to think. I always thought I was a 6 or 6.5/10 somewhere in that range. But the more I see other people and then see myself I realize I’m at best a 3. Another thing that’s caused issues for me is because I find myself so repulsive to look at now, mixed with the fact that I have no friends, I haven’t had a picture taken of me in years. I try to take selfies sometimes but I always delete them. I’ve been told to try online dating, but I can’t do that because the most recent picture of me is from almost a year ago, and I don’t look good in it anyway. So, I decided that I would do a photoshoot, I was looking for photographers and psyching myself up but before I hired anyone I decided “let me lose some weight and feel a bit more confident before I do”. And so I did lose weight, but I felt just as ugly. I’ve realized that I am incapable of seeing anything positive about my appearance, and because of that I don’t know if I do or don’t look good. And I don’t wanna get pictures taken for me to look ugly in all of them and get no matches on the sites again.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn dude, that sounds like a really tough situation you're dealing with. I can imagine it must be super frustrating and draining to struggle with depression, anxiety, and all these insecurities about your appearance and social life. I feel you, it's gotta be hard.

The good news is, it's not too late to work on fixing some of these issues, even if it feels that way. The fact that you're in therapy and taking meds shows you're already putting in the effort, and that's really admirable. Don't give up on that, it can really help even if the results aren't immediate.

As for the social stuff, I know it's easier said than done, but try not to be so hard on yourself, bro. Shyness and social anxiety are no joke, and it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there. The fact that you enjoy being around people is a good sign - you've just gotta find ways to push past that awkwardness, even if it's baby steps.

Maybe start small, like making more small talk with classmates or coworkers. Slowly build up that confidence. And don't be afraid to lean on your therapist for tips on how to make meaningful connections. They can give you some real strategies to overcome that fear of rejection.

As for the whole dating thing, I get why you'd feel frustrated and down on yourself. But don't count yourself out just yet. Plenty of people struggle with that kind of thing, you know? The right person will come along when the time is right. In the meantime, try to focus on loving yourself and feeling comfortable in your own skin. That confidence is attractive, my guy.

The photoshoot idea isn't a bad one, but don't psych yourself out about it. Just go for it - you might be surprised how the pics turn out. And if you really hate them, you don't have to use them. But at least you'll have some more recent shots to work with.

The main thing is, don't give up. I know it's easy to get down on yourself, but you've got to keep pushing forward. With time and effort, you can overcome this stuff. You've got this, dude. Believe in yourself, even if it's just a little bit. You're worth the work.

[TrumanPh]

I appreciate the advice and motivation, I’m trying, I really am, and I’ll keep trying. Thanks

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Wow that sounds a lot like me tbh.

I hate most of the things about myself both in looks and my mental issues. Anytime someone does say something nice about me I dismiss it as being "wrong" or them just being nice. I'm not sure I'd even rate myself a 3 let alone a 6. I work with a therapist but it doesn't feel like it works and now I have gotten to the point I'm agoraphobic because I don't want to be seen.

I have no idea what to do to fix it. My guess would be finding a way to give myself grace but that's hard. If you ever figure it out, share your secret.

[Anonymous]

Did you vote for Trump or Harris.


You can tell a lot from this.


One is fixable and the other is democrat.