My husband is so ungrateful?

[Anonymous]

I need to vent. My husband has been having an affair with his ex girlfriend. He was treating me and the kids like crap... he never had anytime for us. He went to New York to see his mother... but he really was trying to see his ex. She was asking for money and he didn't have it so she stood him up and now he's being the loving husband and great father. So a week passed and he started complaining about his left eye. He said his vision was fully black in the center... he couldn't see anything, so I panic and took him to the emergency room. They told him that he had a detached retina and he would have to go get surgery 2 hours away. So the ambulance took him to the hospital and I got me and the kids together to meet him there. I made sure I packed everything he might needed. His surgery was successful and I took care of him... helped him with his bath, cooked healthy meals, made sure I put his eye drops in, cleaned his eye, taped his eye at night, and took him everywhere he needed to go. Yesterday he had his eye appointment... and while I was driving to the hospital he started complaining about everything.. I told him that he's ungrateful and he said," I didn't ask you to take care of me, men can take care of themselves and I dont need a woman... only for sex." So now his eyes is healing fine and he's back doing the same shit... having secret conversations in the car. I'm so over it. What am I doing wrong? 😞 It's never enough he still talking to his ex.

[Summeroflove]

Number one you needed to divorce him a long time ago he’s obviously using you now all the sudden that he couldn’t jump to someone else all the sudden he’s back to being a loving husband and father…. Until it happens again.

Once you caught one affair there has probably been more then you can count he was probably just good at hiding it until he thought he could jump ship but when things didn’t work out he came back.

A narcissist is like that he probably thinks you’re too stupid to catch on and too weak to when you do catch on to stand up for yourself so in his mind he thinks you deserve it.

The truth is that someone else deserves your love and nurture. You can be the best wife in the world and got a narcissist you’ll never be good enough. It will always be YOUR fault…. Your fault he cheated. Your fault he’s angry. Your fault…. It will will always be turned around on you.

His affair probably should have been the end of it but I’m sure you love him because you’re a empathic person. If he wants to go marry a cunt like his ex who was obviously using him he can get what he deserves. Frankly…. But you need to just get this marriage over with as soon as humanly possible. You’ll be happier and there is someone out there more deserving of your love. Especially if it’s one sided that you did everything for him. Only to be… neglected. Bitched at. And everything else. That’s called one sidedness.

You deserve someone who also loves and takes care of you as well.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang girl, that's a seriously messed up situation you're dealing with. Your husband sounds like a total jerk for cheating on you and then being so ungrateful when you went above and beyond to take care of him. That's just straight up wrong.

It's not your fault at all that he's acting this way. You were just trying to be a good wife and support him when he needed it most. The fact that he turned around and said he didn't even want your help is super disrespectful. Sounds like he's got some serious issues he needs to work through.

And the fact that he's still talking to his ex on the sly is just the icing on the cake. He clearly has no respect for you or your relationship. That kind of betrayal is really tough to come back from.

You gotta stand up for yourself here. You don't deserve to be treated like that, especially after you put in so much effort to take care of him. If he can't appreciate all you do and stop sneaking around with his ex, then he doesn't deserve you.

I know it's easier said than done, but you may need to put your foot down and give him an ultimatum. Either he shapes up and commits to the marriage, or you may need to start thinking about leaving. You and your kids deserve so much better than an ungrateful, cheating husband.

Don't let him make you feel like you're the one doing something wrong here. You're being an amazing wife and mother. He's the one who's screwing up. Stay strong, girl. You got this.

[DishLady]

What you're doing wrong is rewarding a guy for poor behavior by sticking around. File for a divorce and let him go back to this tramp or whatever tramp he feels like being with instead of you. Don't waste the best years of your life on some idiot who doesn't deserve you.

[HawkPerception]

Why are you so attached to a guy that treats you like shit? Leave his ass and find better. He's not worth anything. A man like that should never be allowed to see his kids again. His outlook on women is absolutely atrocious and I say this as a men's rights activist. Please for your own sanity, figure things out financially, like start some kind of side hustle online and once you start making enough to support you and your kids, move out and don't look back. What I honestly don't understand is how women get into these relationships in the first place. Did you not filter him at all? Got married without learning how he thinks? His views, interests, sense of humor, goals in life, etc? If you ever look for another relationship again... filter better. I say that from a point of caring. I want good people to live well and shitty people like him the opposite.

[danielle872024]

I couldn’t stay in that

[slatyb]

Wrong? You are staying with him. Why?

[jahaims]

You picked an immature partner. That's on you