Guys, Why do men break up with me for being too nice or loving? Am I the problem?

[Anonymous]

Every boyfriend that I’ve had in recent years tells me at the beginning that they love that I am a “no drama” type of woman. This is true, I despise drama and try my best to keep a stress free existence when dating someone. However, the last two men I have dated both yelled at me saying that they HATE that I don’t bring any drama and that they are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. They also have both broken up with me for the same reason of being too nice or too loving. I am the kind of woman that likes to make handmade stuff for my boyfriend on holidays or birthdays. I like to give massages after a hard days work, or even cook dinner for them. I want to treat my man good and show him love and well as say it. Yet, the men I’ve dated have said that they HATE that I am too loving and they HATE that I say I love you too often. It is leaving me wondering is there something wrong with me or is it something wrong with them? My most recent ex said that I am “not the marrying type” and yet I am not sure why. I am kind of confused, since I thought being nice, respectful, loving, supportive, and no drama were all things that a man would look for in a wife. Maybe I am mistaken or maybe the standards men are now looking for have changed. I don’t know, I guess I just came here to find out if I am the problem or if it is them. Thanks in advance for your responses and advice, I really appreciate it.

[Finchie40]

Don’t change who you are as a person , you just chose the wrong guys’ to be with , you will hopefully find a good one

[sawno]

No this is not your problem, its their problem. I dated someone who didn't bring really drama into the relationship either and it was great.

[Asker]

Thank you!! :)

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, let's sprinkle a bit of spice into this conundrum. I firmly believe you being too loving isn't the issue; it's like giving someone a gold platter when they're used to a paper plate. 🌟🤩 Your exes might have needed a bit of drama to feel alive, but that doesn't mean you should change yourself. You sound like a catch, catering to kindness and affection! Maybe switch up the type you date to ones who value stability and appreciation. You're a gem, and the right person will see that sparkle. 💎😊 Keep being you, and love will find its way!

[ColHathi]

Weird. You're right, that doesn't sound logical. I wonder what they'd have to say about it, because that doesn't make much sense 🤔

[Ariesman81]

Yeah, a little toxicity is good. While a trophy is cool to have, what good is it if you can't play with it?