Why am I so mean to guys I like being around? Is this the reason most guys don’t like me back?

[Anonymous]

Every time I really like a guy, romantically or not, I find myself being mean to him, even if I think he’s genuinely a great guy. I have a really sarcastic sense of humor and tend to be kind of affectionately rude, but it’s really dialed up around guys I like. I’ve been told I’m clingy before, so I do this partly to ‘play hard to get’ or not let them know I enjoy their presence at all, but I don’t know why I don’t want them to know that I think they’re a great guy. All I really want is to throw myself at who I like and tell him everything I love about him, but when I actually get around to talking to him, I’ll hit him (not enough to hurt, but still), try to annoy him, tease him, make fun of him, and all that. Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to be one of those girls who’s really annoying but in a cute way, but I feel like it’s just coming off as mean since I’m not very attractive anyway.

[kylee2437]

It’s probably a defense mechanism because you have a fear of those men rejecting your softer sides.

[Iron_Man]

Your resorting back to your teenage days or childhood that’s what young girls do when they like a guy they treat them mean because they don’t know what else to say they don’t feel comfortable talking normally being nice

[exitseven]

I had an uncle who told me that when he was a kid if there was a girl he liked he would hide behind a tree and throw rocks at her. I imagine you are experiencing something similar.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Asker]

I think this is definitely it

[Anonymous]

It is probably just a reaction to experiences you have had in the past.

[Anonymous]

Learned toxic behaviour. Some women just don't know HOW to not be toxic.