in my experiences, I've only felt like a bad person for being a good guy, any girl I've shown any sort of interest in, whether friends or more, if I don't know them already, they've all lied to me and chickened out of meeting up together and hanging out. I'm a good guy, I'm not out for sex or to use a woman, I just want to spend time with a girl and hopefully make a good impression on her as she gets to know me. and I do my best to fight for the girl I like, repeated put myself out there if I have to... sex should be saved for marriage imo, so really I'm just looking for a friend when pursuing a girl from the get go. that's all I expect her to see me as too, I don't care if she wants to bang me at first sight, because I don't wanna bang her at first sight either, as long as we find each other attractive and can respect each other enough to wait for each other, that's what I'm looking for...
I try to be real and honest and upfront, and nice and friendly, and treat someone how I'd like to be treated... with respect and love, and I seem to somehow be portrayed as a bad guy to girls, when they just go off and date the real bad guys anyway. they seem legitimately paranoid of me. and I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, when all I'm looking for is a quality, loving relationship that I want to last.
I mean, we're called good guys for a reason. I don't see how suddenly good guys just out of the blue later in life become marriage material when right now, it's like I'm not even datable material to girls... I mean, I think its just immature people being immature, if they understood WHY a good guy is shy, and nice, and tells the truth and is upfront, and a little weird with girls, maybe they'd think we're brave and REAL strong men that know how to feel and conquer our fears, instead of being wimpy and weak and spineless. doesn't it take some courage to open up and be around that special person you like? how about opening up about your feelings and facing rejection? its so scary when you really admire someone and only want the best for them and care about them... while bad boys are smooth and manipulate and lie and cheat, or get a girl pregnant and bail... who's the REAL man? :/
and I try to be the best I can for someone and give them what I feel they deserve, but its like I'm just a bad guy to them. even a new friendship with a girl I have trouble getting to know them. I feel so misunderstood its ridiculous. I just try to be loyal, trustworthy, show as much confidence as possible around someone that gives me that weak-in-the-knees feeling... and it's like I'm just a bad boy to them? what gives?
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its good you have this level of respect for girls
and I agree with what you're saying.
however, I think you're misunderstanding the "bad boy" rep and yourself.
from what I read, you don't come off as a bad boy [ obviously ]
and I really think those girls feel the same way, too.
but to sum everything up: you're stuck in the friend zone.
you seem like the guy that's always there for the girl;
whether she just broke up with her bad-boy boyfriend,
or just had a really bad day.
when it comes to dating...that's not the best tactic.
im not telling you to disregard all your chivalry and kindness towards girls,
but you need to show them you're [ interested ].
how those other guys get the girls is that they aren't afraid to challenge the girl.
they become flirty and send off vibes that they truly are interested: good intentions or bad.
you even said it yourself "I'm just looking for a friend when pursuing a girl from the get go".
i believe that a good relationship has a basic foundation of friendship,
but let it be known you also want more.
I do ask out girls I like... it just feels like the chicken out tho. they say yes but never back it up.