Men, what would you do if a woman said she won't expect loyalty from you?

Question

I'm lucky to have a husband who goes out of his way to show me that he only has eyes for me, but most men who have a girlfriend or a wife still find other women attractive and fancy them.

Honestly, to me this is a deal-breaker. I cannot love someone who doesn't make me feel unique, how can I kiss someone who fancies other women? I broke up with my ex because he had liked a pretty girl's pictures on Instagram a few hours earlier, I instantly decided to break up with him, I didn't think twice about my decision and I never regretted it. I instantly fell out of love with him. The moment a man doesn't make me feel unique anymore is the moment I don't love him or find him attractive anymore.

I'm very lucky to have met a man who is monogamous and only interested in one woman (me), most men are not monogamous and simply force themselves to be in order to protect their relationship/marriage. Sometimes I wonder what my romantic life would have been like if I hadn't met him, I probably would have settled for another man just to enjoy his company (or I would have enjoyed my life as a single woman), but I wouldn't have truly loved him and I wouldn't haveexpected him to be loyal in any way. I would have told him the truth: ''I don't expect you to be loyal, men aren't made for monogamy, I simply want your company.''. What would your reaction be if a woman said this to you? Would you break up with her?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

I would assume she was planning to be unloyal to me , by making that statement. I see attractive women all the time , but it doesn’t mean I act on it , especially if I already have an amazing girl by my side that treats me with love and respect trust and honesty , Loyalty comes from choosing each other
And making each other your top priority , I am choosing her the same way I hope she is choosing me. If she lies and cheats on me , then I will dump her ass immediately. Cheating is a big No in my book , if someone can’t settle just for 1 person , then they should t be getting into a relationship at all. Just stay single and screw whoever you can if that’s the case. I don’t get into relationships to be single , I get into a relationship because I love her the same way she loves me , if she chooses to walk away , then Ii let her go, because we can’t force anyone to stay in love with us , we can’t only treat someone the same way we want to be loved in return. If she checks out other guys’ oh well, she has eyes just like I have eyes , but if she acts on it , then our relationship is over period

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

I make it clear I have eyes for other women. Here is the thing... she likes women too. So I get some benefits out of it, and so does she.

I think the reason it works, is because I don't have eyes for another relationship. I'm sorry but my relationships were enough for me in this life. This one, if it ends, will be the last for sure. I'll bang tons of chicks but I'm pulling out, and not making commitments AT FUCKING ALL. The tenants of MGTOW are ingrained in me despite not being MGTOW. Don't marry and don't cohabitate. Pretty simple. All that aside, she knows just because I banged a hot chick in the bathroom at the bar, that I have no intention of giving her my real phone number. My commitments are not going astray.

Before someone says it, I'll speak on it... I think the reason guys get so pissed off is because their usually the one financially on the hook and nobody wants to end up raising another man's baby or enjoy his STD. Women who cheat also tend to be way more fucked in the head, with no pun intended.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

I don't think that looking at other men or women makes you "disloyal." I think it's human nature to look.

You use the word "fancy,' so I suspect you're British. In your parlance, 'Fancy' means to prefer them and want to sleep with them. That's an entirely different situation, especially if acted upon, which means you're cheating on your SO. An evidence of disloyalty.

It is a matter of degree. Looking is not acting. DESIRING and acting upon that desire by being with someone is something else.

You say you dropped your ex because he "liked" a photo of a woman on Instagram. This seems extreme. Did he know this woman? Was he meeting her somewhere? Having sex with her? Or did he simply like a photo she posted on the internet for people to view?

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

I would assume she is a smart, experienced woman. Very few men are loyal.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

My wife comes home to me every day. She doesn't make plans with other men. She doesn't flirt with other men. BUt it would be unrealistic to expect her to never ever even look at another man. I am not the most handsome man on the planet and if she looks at other men and thinks they are attractive, that's okay. . . as lomg as she continues on her journey home to me.

Summeroflove · Answer

We would have very different values and I would immediately break it off. I’m loyal and expect the same I do agree with that people who can make genuine connections feel the way you do.

But some people aren’t looking for a genuine connection those are people someone should be highly suspicious of as to why they’re really even wanting someone in the first place. Not all men are the same neither are all women. Some people cheat and some people don’t that’s the way it is.

Cormac995 · Answer

Yea it's a dealbreaker for me too. If my SO said they wanted to open our relationship I'd say. "That's super easy cause now we don't have one." Even if they take it back it's too late, I already know they care more about sex being fun than being about love. That means in my opinion cheating is inevitable.

Anyone who wants an open relationship has no business dating at all. They're not mature enough polygamy and swinging isn't just gross it's wrong and for multiple reasons. If you're dating or married to someone and you even consider sleeping with someone else seriously you should break up because your partner deserves better than you.

Random thoughts are one thing but if you are debating about acting on them, you're being disloyal POS. Random thoughts are fine, consideration or actually doing it is wrong. Sleeping with multiple people especially causal sex like one-night stands should not be happening and here's why.

1. It spreads STDs very quickly.

2. Studies show that too many bed partners has negative effects on your long-term mental health and your ability to connect with other people and form bonds of friendship and even Moreso of love. It also often results in depression and low self-esteem and confidence later in life and it gets worse the more you do it.

3. More unwanted pregnancies that result in more orphans and foster kids.

4. Unexpected kids that are kept often end up growing up in single parent households and in poverty which is bad for the child's health and mental development.

there are others too, but these are my biggest ones and this is why I think that polygamy and free love aren't just gross they're straight up wrong and unethical.

sawno · Answer

I will heal her by giving her love and loyalty she never felt before. Ill also take is her being open minded and being ok if I wanted to do certain things but i'd always discuss first. But ultimately i'd see it as her being betrayed and hurt or openmindedness depending on the contect. In your context its obvious you'd need to be held close, kept safe and receive so much love and admiration.

Actually been in a similar situation where she completely ciphered herself away just to make me happy. Instead of letting me know what she wanted she told me she's capable of dealing with herself after. I immediately shut that chain of thought down by letting her know that seeing her enjoy it and be happy is half of what I love about shared activities. From that moment on she knew men like me genuinely care and facades to keep me happy were not needed.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I don't think finding other women attractive is being disloyal.. That's not something he can exactly help.. He got with you because you were one of the women found attractive willing to hear him out and let him further pursue you. I get where you're coming from in wanting to be unique, and him liking other women's post and looking at other women especially in front of you, is disrespectful.. But, he also developed feelings for you yourself..

I'm sure you still find other guys attractive but you make a conscious decision to keep eyes on your husband, and it could be the fact that you are most attracted to him..

Shiprex · Answer

It's natural to look at things you like. If you're this insecure about a man SEEING attractive women and getting jealous about it then you're likely going to need a blind man or one who lies to you.

Looking and liking other people is NORMAL. How you act on it is character. That's what is important.

If my partner stated this then she obviously doesn't know me and TELLING me this shows she would expect the same level of reciprocation and thus didn't really hold our relationship as the PRIME purpose to be together.

Anonymous · Answer

This is interesting, due to my personal experience I would take this as a big red flag. Years ago I went on a trip to Vegas with the boys. My ex told me out of the blue that she was giving me a hall pass to sleep with a girl while there. This took me aback as I had never made such request or anything inferring that I wanted anything outside our relation. I shrugged it off thinking she was just trying to be nice. No I did not step out while on the trip.

Years later it was her turn to do a Vegas trip with the girls. No similar conversation was had, quite the contrary she knew loyalty was very important to me. Well she cheated anyways. I guess she offered me what she'd have taken for herself all along. Part of me even wonder if she had stepped out back then already and made the offer out of guilt. But no need to fester on it. Being put in the same situation again I would see things quite less naively.

Blunky · Answer

I absolutely would break up with someone like you. That's a lot of assumptions to throw at someone you're in a relationship with. Men will always be attracted to attractive women. Whether or not we act on it is the difference. You seem to approach dating men as a know-it-all and it's extremely off putting.

tzdc21 · Answer

It's delusional to think that he won't look at other woman and find them attractive. The truth is it's alright to find other people attractive while you're in a relationship, AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT ACT ON THOSE IMPULSES. When you act on those impulses, that's where it becomes a problem. You can find another man/woman attractive and still be loyal. That's what I would do. I would find them attractive, but I am already with a girl of my own, so I've got my priorities straight.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Yes i'll break up with her and who are you to say that men aren't designed to be with one single woman!
I'm loyal and i don't want someone with me just for my company while they don't trust me or think that i'm someone bad behind their backs plus of she can be loyal than i can be loyal too!

You're talking as if women are angels 🤣🤣

fish5505_87 · Answer

This is a little shallow. Many studies have found woman cheat more than men? I am happy for you. I am married, love my wife, have never cheated. Are their other woman that are more attractive physically then my wife, yes! I chose her, for more than that!

HungTexan · Answer

I honestly don’t know. I’m happily married, but we do have threesomes with other women sometimes. It’s fun for both of us. However, I’d be happy with just her. Severus different, and has different expectations.

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

I agree with what you said, if I am not the only woman in a man's life, I would prefer not to be at all.

Mac-One · Answer

My wife and I, during our 60 plus year relationship, have had many difficult times but have always maintained a committed relationship and have never desired it otherwise.

Vegasrunner · Answer

TBH most woman don't expect loyalty from HV men like me. Women are turned on by experiences and having an one w/ a man they respect and admire is an experience that they want.

Staximus · Answer

If a woman said that she didn't expect me to be loyal, I would think that she's interested in screwing around with other guys on the side. That would be the end.

Oldschool1981 · Answer

I married a rather promiscous woman and I love her. Sure, she'll sleep around here and there but I knew that from day one

Anonymous · Answer

What she's telling you when she says that is that SHE is not loyal. And you should RUN! RUN FAST! Any woman worth her salt would NEVER say such a thing.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I would expect that she isn't loyal to me in return. This is not a base for a relationship.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Your not describing love. Your describing your love of power & yourself.

LiamS95 · Answer

Dump her because that also means she doesn't plan to be loyal

RedThread · Answer

It would make me uncomfortable because I'm a loyal person.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Then I’d say good luck finding it anywhere else 🤷🏻‍♂️

Gabriella01 · Answer

Break it if off cheating can get people killed. From jealousy to an STDs. I’m a one-woman woman.

Wise4myage · Answer

I’d wonder if she wanted to do the same thing or felt the same way

Smegskull · Answer

The expectation to be the only person your partneris attracted to is pretty unrealistic in the short term an wholly delusional in the long term.

Anonymous · Answer

I would never say that to a guy and I would not want him to say that to me

blackeagle007 · Answer

If she’s gonna be unloyal, then so be it. I won’t then

gintare_764 · Answer

That's the reason I'm into open relationship

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Kick on her ass and throw her out from house

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

Break up with her

billyboy197747 · Answer

I wouldn't go out with her.

GAGsucksballs89170 · Answer

It's wrong to assume

PaleDale · Answer

Open relationships do work for some

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Likely leave her.

masterSir · Answer

Leave, she won't be loyal to me.

Anonymous · Answer

I would still be loyal.

cutienhene · Answer

Hey, guys please vote for my poll ❤️

lorenzomichael · Answer

I’d marry her.

grega239 · Answer

Break up

Men, what would you do if a woman said she won't expect loyalty from you?

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Men, what would you do if a woman said she won't expect loyalty from you?

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