How is it ok for a guy to talk to and entertain 20 other females, even go "hang out" with another female, but if a woman does the same thing it's somehow not ok now. I don't understand. Make it make sense.
There is no since iin that.
Friend came to me and said him and his girlfriend were fighting. I asked why and he said him and a couple of guys we both know went out 2 weeks ago and he didn't get home until 5 am
I said well she has every right to be kissed off. A ND he said no. He's the one pissed off because his girlfriend went out lastly weekend with a couple girls and she didn't get home until 5 am.
I said so why are you p*****And he said , because she got home at five a m
I said, yes, so what time did you get home last the week before 5 AM? He said, I said you can't get p***** off. She did the same thing you did. You don't get a free ride and she can't have that same free ride if you do something she gets to do the same thing that's why life is
She has the same right to do the same thing that you do. Why are you p*****Because I don't know where she's been. Hello, she probably says the same thing about you. Come on dude wake up
You're in a relationship just because you want to go do something doesn't mean you get to go do it. And if you do then she gets to go, do the same thing, because you just gave her that right to do the same thing. Good act like a f****** fool
That's not the case though. The majority of men do NOT cheat, but MOST women DO cheat. Even posting provocative/revealing pictures online like MOST women do on social media IS cheating too.
I have worked in schools for 15 years which is mostly women co-workers and at first it was surprising how many women are openly cheating on their husbands and how many other women are supportive of their cheating.
Let's make something else fair while we're at it too. If a woman hits a man, the man should get to hit her back as hard as he can, even if it kills her. FAR more women hit men, so let's make things fair for both there too. If a woman insults a man, he should get to hit her in her face since many women do that and think it is fine.
I hope women are having fun with all their sexist hypocrisy for generations. I hope they like how men no longer help them. Getting stabbed to death on public transit while no men help? Equality. Getting set on fire and no men help? Equality. Don't need no men right? Ha ha ha. Not feeling sorry for them at all. Enjoy it women because women have earned how society is now.
If a woman is stupid enough to put hands on a man, she deserves whatever happens. We learned in kindergarden to keep our hands to ourselves. I don't agree with cheating, but I'm not gonna be the only one crying when it's all said and done.
Yes they do... and there isn't just one reason across the board, however the most prevalent reason so far is still, "If you leave me, where are you going to go?" that comes from the belief that the guy is the best thing to happen to this gal...
Best way to buck that belief in the teeth from the start is to have consistent standards you both have to uphold. And if he breaks your trust you walk away. He either figures out that he had a treasure or he doesn't.
The guy who had me in his life for a little over a year betrayed my trust and I told him not to speak to me again, walked away, and did a systematic shut-out that took me about a week to complete. He publicly saw himself replaced -- +1 at events immediately shifted to the next person in my social circle in under 5min, the project we were working on together I replaced with a new guy on LinkedIn who is a better match all around... and he sees this.
He's retaliating by hosting some massive penthouse holiday party... very Gatsby of him... and I'm continuing to host my smaller bespoke parties that are more meaningful bc I am with friends while he's going to be surrounded by strangers he refers to as friends. 🤷🏻♀️
It doesn't make SENSE. It's called PRIVILEGE. Because I'm a guy, I can do this and it's OK. But it's NOT ok for my woman to do it. It's a man thing. It's a ME thing. It's my right!
It's an excuse to have YOUR fun but your partner can't do the same, is what it is...
Opinion
67Opinion
Well the brutally honest answer is yes "men" truly do expect that I lost one. Of my best friends because after he got caught with his dick in some other woman. His wife didn't divorce him rather she took him up on hed do anything to make it up. The miserable prick was actually proud that he convinced her not to dump him. A few months later I saw him he was ha. mered , pissed off because he had a home made movie starring him and various friends of his wife. He watched it when she wasn't there. Well seems he went to watch it only she'd replaced it , starring her and 2 weell hung black men. His tape was gone. When I said i didn't see the problem we fought. She divorced him a month later
I dont know where the double standard comes from but im betting its from days of old.
Its the same with what's called body count. A man fucks everything he can and he's a ladies man , a stud. But a woman runs up a really high count (3 maybe 4 men) and they are sluts a lot of times even by other women
The only reasoning I can come up with is back in the day, women werent raised to embrace their sexuality , rather they were to be wives and mothers and divorce wasn't as prevalent so they endured " for the family " my own father had many "other women" I suppose many young men were counseled that thats the way things are.
An eye for an eye, right? They can dish it out but can't take it themselves.
It's not okay. I don't know why you think all men think it's okay. You're likely attracted to a specific kind of guy that has that mentality. You should probably mature up and change your filter if you want men that do not have that mentality.
Many men (myself included) look down on male promiscuity just as much as we look down on female promiscuity. But the truth is, regardless of what we look down on, it's definitely harder for a man to be promiscuous than a woman. A woman could find a date by the end of the week and get laid whenever she wants. For a man, it's much harder. And that's why a large percentage of men are impressed by it.
I didn't say all men, I know there's guys that aren't shitty. It was a generalized question for that specific type, because there are a lot of them.
Well the way you phrased it implied that men all think that way. Because if you knew there were men that did not think that way, you wouldn't have asked a ridiculous question like this.
The majority of guys don't even think this way. And if you let them gaslight you into thinking that it is okay, they lack character themselves and it would be your fault for picking guys with that kind of character.
You do understand that narcissistic abuse is not the fault of the victim, right? It doesn't happen overnight. I didn't wake up one day and decide I wanted to be mentally, emotionally, and physically abused by the man that claims to love me. It was a gradual process, like a frog in boiling water. It took me a long, long time to understand what was happening. I believed his cheating and constant verbal abuse was my fault, like I did something wrong. But I didn't, his behavior is on him, not me. "Those guys" never show you who they really are until you're already emotionally hooked and invested in them. In the beginning they are very good at pretending to be everything you've ever dreamed of, claim they're not like "those guys". They sell you a nightmare while dressed as a dream. If they showed who they really were, no one would fall for it, but they are fantastic at manipulating and love-bombing. So no, it is not my fault, because I didn't choose that man, I chose the one he pretended to be.
"The one he pretended to be" Filter better. There are plenty of good guys out there who are not narcissistic and don't abuse their partners in any way. If you keep ending up with those kinds of guys, then it's obviously because you're attracted to them.
I do not expect a woman to hold up her end of the relationship if I don’t hold up mine. That would be hypocritical.
But let me ask you this. Why are women who use sex as a weapon or withhold intimacy or behave asexually outraged and angry when a man gets his needs met elsewhere? They had their chance. The guy upheld his responsibilities in the relationship. Until it became clear to him the commitment was one sided.
But but but…. He cheated!
Yeah, after she quit on him. She can cry all she wants. No apology would be due her.
One could argue they should have both decided to just end it. But… economics, kids, etc.
Just so you are aware, narcissistic men also weaponize intimacy. They withhold because they know their partner wants that connection. So, by that logic, I should be able to get my needs met elsewhere, and he shouldn't have anything to say about it because his attention was outside the relationship, when he could have had it any time he wanted in the relationship.
Yes, absolutely. Zero difference whether it's a woman or a man. The point is that somebody quit on their partner as a prelude to the cheating or whatever betrayal occurred. I'm not gonna judge any woman in that situation. It cuts both ways.
How do you know that I’m “not faithful?” Or the next guy? Or the next guy? You can’t just paint all men one way when you’ve chosen to be with a relative few…
And if the men you choose are repeatedly unfaithful, at what point do you ask yourself why YOU, yourself, keep choosing such men? Surely there are some tell-tale signs?
Honestly most men don’t have the kind of options that even the average woman has. We tend to just want the girl that we want and live happily ever after, but how often does that happen? We are not that hard to figure out.
Everyone is excited to remain faithful. That's a fundamental part of having good morals and values, and that's something you should be vetting VERY EARLY after meeting someone you are considering for a relationship.
When people say "you need to raise your standards", the standards you should be raising aren't looks, height, income, education, boob size/dick size, etc. - those are usually unrealistically high already. Instead, the standards that need to be raised, for yourself and your partner, are morals and values.
Men and women are extremely different in terms of reproduction and morphology. Men do not have parental certainty that women have. If you expect a man to help you raise your offspring you’re going to have to give him no shadow of a doubt that you strayed and that you are faithful.
Being in today’s sexual liberated landscape, Women seem OK sharing the top 5% men. And also, our culture became very atheistic and also from a purely biological standpoint, the top percentage of men do expect you to be OK with it.
It's actually not that complicated. For a man to have a lot of women he has to be doing something right and bringing some value. A woman simply needs to exsists to get male attention. Because of this men understand that if your women is talking to other guys, she's entertaining attention from men who would have sex given the opportunity. Even if a man is entertaining a bunch of women he has to put in the work to actually have sex with her. Pretty simple women just dont like it because most women want control of the double standards.
I don't need control. I need mutual respect and equality. We're supposed to be partners, so if he's allowed to do something, I should be to. If he expects me to give him respect, it's gonna be reciprocated, or we're both gonna have hurt feelings.
And have you met these guys? A lot of them have no job, no car, no money, a couple felonies, and still be messing with multiple females. Guys don't have to do much these days cus some hoodrat thinks "taking your man" is a flex.
@Asker
This is a fallacy a lot of women have. My women do this all the time, thinking we are equal. It takes a ton of work for me to have extra women, but it doesn't take them work to have extra guys. Therefore if they decide to take the easy way out, I drop them. The guy who is going to have hurt feelings is the one who's not able to get other hoes. A HV man would simply replace you.
@Asker
Thats a better question to ask yourself. A guy w/ no job no car and no money isn't going to get a hot girl. He may get a desperate overweight one, but women dont typically gravitate to broke men.
Thats kinda embaressing to boast about how hard it is for you to get women tbh. My best friend got women fairly easily, he's married and happy. My husband and father both had to fight off women because they wanted to be virgins till marriage. My little brother constantly gets hit on and ignores it. I know a few men that struggled to get women too but all were married before 28 even if it took a minute to find one initially.
@Zoommergal It's unfortunate you feel embarrassed. If a man has a girl as a friend that tells me that he is not successful with women. If your husband father and little brother are virgins, then this just proves even more how difficult it is first an average man to get women. Like most women you're using the female metric, however a man getting married isn't a sign of success. Men are judged on how many women they are able to have sex with.
@Vegasrunner the ones she says have "no jobs" usually look like this...
upload.wikimedia.org/.../...emy_Meeks_Mug_Shot.jpg
they bringing another type of value, which is status and attention
Women already cheat more than men, and they still do it regardless of whether men are cheating too or not.
Your question sounds like an excuse: you want to mess with other men, and if guys are cheating then why shouldn't you be able to. Again, if it's in your heart/what you desire, you are going to do it anyway regardless of whether your man is faithful or not.
That's not even close to what the situation actually is. I have no desire to mess with anyone else, but after so many years of being 100% faithful and committed to only him, I think it's time for him to get a taste of his own medicine.
We are all tribal territorial animals. Natually women are more interested in poeple and men are more interested in things. Sadly we’ve been literally brainwashed to believe we all deserve a false idea of perfection that one must fake to be seen as. Every day we lie to ourselves and others about ourselves and those we date. We create an impossible ideal and then are dissappointed when reality eventually comes to light. We need to ditch the facad and communicate honestly about ourselves, our hopes and appreciate realistic expectations of one another. We must ask ourselves why we want who we want. I can’t imagine most women wanting an unwanted man. I think if a woman wants a mans attention she’ll need to be not what a man wants but needs and tbh, good men NEED good women.
Cheating is Definitely not the norm in my friends group.
A close friend cheated on his wife and his wife admitted to cheating on him. We no longer talk to them. I never was a big believer in “you are the company you keep” but I’ve realized if they will betray there partner it’s only a matter of time before they will betray you.
The question kinda implies no one is being held accountable for cheating I’ve seen the opposite most everyone is held accountable for cheating by someone. The other implication is that all men cheat that’s not true either maybe you or the woman around you need to choose more wisely.
Final thoughts…
Don’t let everyone else’s lack of character destroy yours.
Don’t let others weakness validate your own.
Not all men are unfaithful, just as not all women are unfaithful.
Those that are, both men and women, expect faithful partners in return. As far as those people who aren't faithful: fuck 'em. They don't have the right to expect that which they are unwilling to provide.
Yes a faithful guy wants a faithful girl , but if he isn’t faithful to her , then she doesn’t need to be faithful to him period , you should only be with a guy that follows the same boundaries, that you both agreed upon , if one of you crosses those boundaries, then whoever got betrayed , should leave that relationship
Its not always as simple as just leaving, especially when its a trauma bond.
Trust me, I know. I been knowing. It's a matter of having the strength to go no contact, because that's the only way it'll work. It's like an addiction. The bad times are really bad, but the good times are so good, euphoric even. And it's hard to walk away when there's hope that things will get better. Deep down I know it won't, but it's hard to give up the dream.
I been in your shoes before with my ex that I encounter the same thing with , Most
Times we were arguing and fighting and then all of a sudden we had this passion for each other , this went on for a plot of years but eventually it got to a point that we both had to walk away from each other because it wasn’t healthy whatsoever
Simple. If a man isn't faithful, and especially if he does things with that many women, his "values" are "I can do whatever I want". And NO person wants their "partner" to be with someone else. Is he garbage? of course. But that is the thought process of those people. Also, that's not men, that's garbage humans. Both sexes do it and it... once was uncommon. Not sure how bad it is these days.
If a guy is not faithful and cheats, there is no logical reason why he should be surprised if the girl also cheats... except when he thinks that it's okay, and normal, for guys to cheat, but not for girls.
Fortunately, this is not what the majority of guys think. We guys don't cheat, and if we do, it's almost always a regrettable mistake.
I don't expect a woman to be my slave or something like other guys. I don't know why other men are so possessive.
I'm a 45 years old virgin, by the way. If I can be faithful to God and live by moral standards, anyone can do it. There's no excuse for adultery or fornication acts.
It's not technically cheating to hangout with opposite gender.
And I could never date a guy who keeps tabs on me. Red flag. Then again, I could never date a guy who has no female friends either. Because same gender friendships get toxic when it comes to dating advice
The vast majority of men, and the vast majority of women do stay faithful. Cheating is basically 50/50. Your argument is idiotic. Just because you chose wrong doesn't mean all men are bad, all men cheat. This is not how the world works.
This sounds like a skill issue. You chose wrong. Unfortunately you choose men who are going to be unfaithful. Don't get me wrong here, you're not at fault for their choices. But something to note, Most women, and most men, do not cheat. Change the kind of guy you go after and you will have different results.
How is it ok for a girl to talk to and entertain 20 other men, even go "hang out" with another man, but if a man does the same thing it's somehow not ok now. I don't understand. Make it make sense.
I don't associate with females like that, so I don't know how many are actually running around with a bunch of guys, but i'd bet there's far more men doing it.
There area lot of women who cheat as if the world was their playground. And a lot of women initiate divorce to steal the husband's assets and money.
Way more women (at least in the Western world) are doing it than men. Men do not want to marry. And this is feminism's fault. Turning us modern women into brainless chickens with no accountability.
When a man is married or even in a serious relationship, he must stay loyal to his girl and make her feel special because if she wasn't special in his eyes than he wouldn't have picked her, if he truly loves her and not pretending just to get in her pants!
I've learned a few things working at bars. One of them is women have a hell of a lot more opportunities to cheat. The other is it's a lot easier for women to take a guy home or go home with a guy that it is for the guy to take home or go home with a woman. So think about that.
Yep. They’re hypocrites like that. And usually the most jealous ones who’re accusing you of cheating, are the cheaters. They’re cheating on you and projecting.
If guys are not fully committed of course they are going to need multiples , so they are just keeping the one they are not fully committed to " up their sleeve " ..
Women can be just as bad mind you.
I have never met a man who has dated 20 women at the same time.
Think about the logistics you're suggesting.
I said entertaining, not dating. It's not difficult to jump into 20 different inboxes.
Okay so he's engaged with 20 different inbox conversations at the same time?
You'd be surprised at his inbox. I was.
I would definitely be surprised, but I don't use instagram or facebook so I don't know what it's like on there.
But if you saw it with your own eyes then that's that 🤷♂️
That dude has a lot of time on his hands.
This question, and many of the pink responses, are hilariously stupid. Statistically men and women cheat at about the same rate. No one wants to be cheated on, even the cheaters. Stop pretending this is a man thing and not a woman thing.
By the way, I've never cheated and never would, but I've been cheated on by two different women. But I'm not dumb enough to take that to mean this is a woman problem.
Who ever said it's okay for men to cheat? As a guy, I certainly don't countenance that!
So you are assuming all men are like this? Or maybe more accurately women tend to notice men who are already getting attention from other women vs the ones who don’t?
I've never heard of anyone suggest that's okay. No idea where you got that idea from. Like I've heard of tangential things like "even men are shores they're "players" and celebrated, when women are shores they're "sluts" and are shamed." But that's as close of an idea as I've ever heard to what you're suggesting.
You would have to ask men that cheat if they want 1 girl to stay his committed girl. As a guy who is faithful I demand faithfulness or else I leave her.
are we speaking about the tiny fraction of men that aren't faithful here? cause who cares if they expect a woman to be faithful? you don't wanna be with them cause they aren't faithful right? so it doesn't matter what they want.
They try to set game rules in their favor. Guess who does that always?
I wouldn't bother with such people at all.
What's so confusing? Men sleeping around doesn't mean you get to sleep around too. How lewd of you to suggest that?
Yes. It’s in their blood to pursue women but when it comes to their woman doing the same as them is a big NO NO. Double standards.
It's a big NO for either sex. It's just now the women have gotten away with cheating and calling it "empowerment" for so long that they forgot accountability
@Awesomesauce2005 you’re not wrong either. I support what you say.
It’s not actually “okay”, it’s just a double standard some guys hide behind to avoid accountability. Healthy relationships have mutual boundaries, not one-way rules.
Because women do it way more than men. It's not acceptable for either sex to do it. Don't get mad because now you are getting judged for cheating when 3 years ago other women said it was "empowering"
What makes you think all men are unfaithful?
Anyone who cheats, man or woman, is a complete piece of shit. period.
Cheating is never acceptable, but many men will try to justify it just the same.
A man who is jealous and possessive but also chests is a psycho.
When a woman raises a kid, she knows from painful experience it is hers. Before DNA, men couldn't be certain they weren't raising some other guys kids.
not me, I live by this quote...
Many men are hypocrites, they still go by the old claim that a woman is only as good as her sexual and social virtue, but a man can have other avenues to greatness.
Choose a different guy. Sure, you could do it as well but then you'd be willingly contributing to a toxic relationship. If you are unhappy then find someone to make you happy. Simple.
You seem to be mistakenly thinking biology is equal. It isn't.
Not sure what men you've come across, some of us are loyal and faithful.
Most men don't even have the option to cheat. If you are chasing Chad and getting pumped and dumped that's on you.
I mean men who espouse morality are often the biggest hypocrites. Especially strict Muslims and Christians, they cheat constantly.
The reality is women are far more unfaithful than men
Statistics say otherwise
i have
She's right @In_Trance older men are the most likely type of people to cheat
I totally agree with you. Luckily I’ve never anyone say that with a straight face irl. Even my ex who cheated on me had the grace to hide it.
I dont expect anything from women. The same way I dont expect anything from pets or my big brother with down syndrome.
That definitely isn't true for a lot of us. I struggle enough with one.
I can't make sense of it either psychobarbie90
If your partner is not faithful, dump the person and find someone worthly of loyalty.
Because women use their bodies to get what they want all the time.
I don't see the point of hanging out with other females, but I'm a little different.
I've never once been unfaithful, and expect the same from my partner.
Looks like someone is looking for justification to cheat
I believe if you're in a relationship the expectation should be faithfulness on both ends.
Men and women should be faithful to their partner.
Let's invert this: Do women really expect men to stay faithful when women are never faithful?
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