Why is it hard for men to stay faithful to one woman?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The answer to this is actually quite simple. People cheat when they are in the power position AND they don't feel satisfied.

Let's establish a few facts. First, most people never cheat. That is a well established fact that is true of both men and women.

Second, people who are completely satisfied in a relationship do not cheat, because they have no reason to, and they know they have a good thing and don't want to jeopardize it.

Finally, people cheat when they are in a position of power. That is to say that they know they have options and they sense they can find something better.

Having said all of that, while most people don't cheat, when they do it happens most often during the times when they feel they have the power. For women that is primarily before age 30 when they truly hold all the cards in the dating game. Women are are most desirable at about age 20 and begin to decline in desirability after that, and at around about age 28 - 30 the decline accelerates.

It is at that time that the tables turn and it is men who hold most of the power, from that point forward. This is well documented is science.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/15/style/dating-apps-online-men-women-age.html

Having said all of that, we would expect to see women cheating more than men before age 30, and men cheating more than women after that age. And that is exactly what the statistics show.

So the answer to your question is the same for both women and men. But at your age, it is women who are doing more of the cheating.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

That's a pretty big generalization. One could easily ask the same thing about women.

Speaking only for myself. I always believed in monogamous relationships. I never cheated on a girlfriend and would NEVER cheat on my wife. Cheating is deceitful, dishonest, selfish, and shows bad character.

When I had girlfriends, beginning when I was 16, I'll only say that I had no intention of getting married or settling down. I certainly wasn't going to get tied to the first girl I had a relationship with. I was interested in experiencing life to the fullest. Life was all about fun. I also knew that I was too mentally immature to make a good life-long partner. So I would eventually move on. If I found a new girl, I would break up with my current girlfriend before doing anything serious with the new one.

It wasn't until I was in my mid-30s that I started thinking that I should consider finding a life partner and settling down. I didn't meet the right woman until I was 40. We got married when I was 42 and she was 40. We've been happily married now for 25 years.

zzombie · Accepted Answer

Women are just as snakey and dirty as men. A better question to ask would be "Why is it hard for people to stay faithful to their partners?" Also to answer your question, it's because we live in a world of instant gratification. It's easier to cheat & satisy your sexual cravings than it is to be faithful to your partner. Relationships are complicated, they require sacrafice and hard work. And if you haven't noticed by now, not everyone is willing to put fourth the work... so when things aren't fullfilling enough in a relationship, people seek for ways to fulfill themselevs elsewhere. Which leads to cheating etc...

Brown-Kitty · Accepted Answer

Some men have problems that needs to be treated with a therapy. And what makes it worse is that some men actually cheat and blame it on the woman they’re with.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. Do you think all men are unfaithful? If that is your experience, you are selecting the wrong guys for relationships. Most of us are faithful and monogamous when we give you our pledge of fidelity.

2. The guys who ARE unfaithful are errant for the same reasons that women are unfaithful: they have a character flaw, tend to be self-centered, and simply place very little (if any) value on respecting their sacred promises.

Lionman95 · Answer

I think one reason is that we are directed by our eyes, because being single we look after any woman that´s beautiful in our eyes, it´s hard for us to behave differently in a relationship. The problem is that many guys watch porn which can re-focus the male brain on sexual features of a woman.
I think many guys aren´t aware of how much impact a "small" affair can have on a woman´s self-confidence and self-view and they didn´t prepar themselves for a relationship before getting in one.

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

Do you have any idea where you asked that?
On this site most guys firmly believe that it's the other way around. I don't have to scroll down, I already know what kind of comments I will see.

Anyway some guy have a hard time with staying faithful to one women for the simple fact that they let their dick do the thinking. Simple as that. We all, men and women, find many people attractive. But most of us is capable to not act in the moment, wait until we get home to get off with our partner. Some guys just can't wait, say fuck it my dick is the boss of me and do it.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

For me, it's because I find so many beautiful things about different women. Each person is a universe.

The same with my platonic friends and family, I could never be "faithful" to just one (since in this usage of the word, "faithful" means "excluding everyone else and just picking one to be your favorite and you ignore all others on an intimate level.").

It's incredible to me that this is a difficult concept to grasp for so many people. I find I have a hard time not falling in love with women for little things they do, small mannerisms, when I can see their heart, their motivation, their dreams, etc. There are so many times when a woman opens up to me even in a small way like that, it could even just be a smile or a certain eye contact, and I find my soul rushing out to her.

ohshee · Answer

To be honest it's really good it's a very beautiful thing to bond with somebody to become one with somebody I think when the guy cheats it's because that's just who he is he thinks he's smarter than the girl and he thinks he can get away with it and he also is selfish and only thinking about himself it has thought about it and in that moment doesn't care he's going to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it those are the guys you have to watch out for. I mean the same as girls do they do the same thing is part of life but if you are that way you just don't get into a relationship you can do the same things and not be in a relationship can people that do that are just not ready to be in a relationship the one of the best feelings in the world is being faithful loyal happy find a friendship commitment to yourself first then you can do it with somebody else to

Stephanie38 · Answer

I don't think it's just men finding it hard to be faithful. If you find yourself in a relationship and are committed and happy there is no room to cheat. If you are in a relationship and find yourself unhappy and looking for another woman then break up with that woman and move on. I have been with one man for the past 17 years and even through rough patches I still wanted only that man. The minute I thought about cheating is the time I knew it was over so we ended our relationship and remained friendly instead of one of us cheating and ruining what we had beyond the relationship. End story... you will cheat if u want to and if u r mature then you will end your relationship before you say "why do all men cheat?" When u meet that 1 person then no one else can compare to them and u won't do anything to jeopardize that person/relationship.

CuriousJC · Answer

It seems the devil made game for men call women Roulette. Every time a man is already in a relationship with a woman and he see another woman that's much bigger and beautiful than her that man has to try to make a move on her causing his relationship known as an affair. Then it happens again with the next woman and the next and the next and the next.

normalice · Answer

We spend a substantial amount of our time as teenagers trying to figure out how to bang every girl we see. Even though we never figure it out, that's still the direction our minds keep going - it having built up much momentum. It takes a lot of satisfaction to stop such ambitions. And if a girl is letting us have our way with her but doesn't seem particularly enthusiastic about our kinks, we'll instinctively keep an eye out for women that will. At least for a time..

PolishedMonkey · Answer

There is a perfect explanation for that. Unfortunately it’s going to require some deep introspection into the core cause of why women are the lying manipulative creatures they are and so capable of having sex with a guys best friends while consecutively guilting this poor fellow into an almost suicidal state for getting some on the side because he’s horny due to having a girlfriend who’s never got “time for him” cuz she’s too busy playing WWE tag team with all his buddies every day that ends in the letter Y.

Anonymous · Answer

If they have a good character it shouldn't be an issue. In my estimation, the driving force behind monogamous people being unfaithful is lack of satisfaction with their current relationship - the accounts I've heard regularly cite hostility from their partner and lack of intimacy.

I have not experienced any of these myself, but it isn't hard to imagine. I've had women ask me out for a drink and give me their phone numbers before telling me they're married... I'm not interested in the reddest of flags, so I've always discarded these...

... The downsides of pursuing relationships over fun I guess. It's the safer decision; finding someone you can start a relationship with is hard, but it's worth doing.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

It isn't.

You're just dating the wrong men. Or you're driving them to it - hard to say. Either way, it isn't hard for men to stay faithful. They just like to justify it like that to shift blame from themselves.

NicoletteXO · Answer

I don't think it's any harder for a man than a woman. If you look at all aristocratic circles, they are very tolerant of polyamory, as long as it's discreet. It's only the poor lower class chumps who've been indoctrinated to believe monogamy is how they are meant to operate, and then lo and behold, almost nobody in a 'monogamous' relationship actually ends up being monogamous. And if they are, they mostly achieve it through great suffering and internal turmoil.

hahahmm · Answer

Most women operate like fast food restaurants. What they're offering is nothing special. Imagine if the manager of McDonalds was surprised that customers started going to another McDonalds down the road. You'd say he's silly.

But I also agree with Browneyes57 who says (to paraphrase) it's not hard.

If you can't keep a man... think more about what you have (beyond looks) that a man actually would want and the kind of guys you give your time to.

dustybiker · Answer

It goes both ways. I have witnessed incredibly callous men and woman that are incapable of staying out of others pants. They had no business rooting themselves down. I’m not judging.. just don’t do that to someone. When you hurt others it’s just not right.

TwistedSukuna · Answer

I never understood the mentality of a guy being unfaithful, like if you're not satisfied in the relationship don't hurt the girl by doing that shit, just let her know and break it off, and if it's just that he's got women throwing themselves at him (which is highly unlikely) then he's displaying a lack of self control. Saw a comment mention it being a lack of wisdom and I've gotta agree there

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exitseven · Answer

I do not know. In most cases it is not about sex. It is about being wanted by another woman or the excitement of maybe getting caught or some other damn stupid reason. One thing they all have in common is that when they get caught, they always regret it. Especially after the divorce settlement.

Browneye57 · Answer

It isn't. Or, it's about the same as women. Yes, cheating is pretty well split 50-50 by gender.

Do you have any idea how to get and keep a man? Do you know how to keep them true to you?

The bottom line is that happy couples in love don't cheat.

And if you think casual dating with young guys your age that some kind of exclusivity is expected, it might be just YOU. They may simply not be ready to commit.

Dinklex3 · Answer

It's not. Please don't give them that excuse, lol. Find someone who loves you and is on the same page as you.

VDrago14 · Answer

Same reason women struggle to stay faithful to men, could be something in their background, the way they were raised. Some people simply can't stay with one person at an instinctual level.

Why is it hard for men to stay faithful to one woman?

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