Why do we cheat on a relationship?

Question

incorrected · Accepted Answer

A more complicated question than it first seems, but worth noting that wherever it's been studied, somewhere in the range of 35% to 55% cheat. There's a reason why some places have such severe social and religious punishments for it, and that's because it seems to be endemic to not only the human condition, but also in other primate species like chimps and gorillas. Birds pair bond for life, but primates are different.

Some people are more prone to it than others. I've never cheated, but if I was unhappy enough and stuck in a relationship where I stand to lose big if I split or she splits, might I conduct an affair if I had felt unloved and put-down for long enough? Probably. For some, it takes mere opportunity and desire, because as far as they're concerned they get one life and they're damn sure not going to miss out on every moment of pleasure they can grasp. For others, they'd sooner die than cheat. The important part is why YOU do or would cheat. Consider that deeply, without painting yourself as a saint in your imagination, but deeply exploring under what circumstances you would be tempted, and under what circumstances you would give in to that temptation.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

Both guys and girls cheat for sexual excitement. There is the Coolidge effect in males but it is not seen in females.

Put a male and female rat together in a cage together and the will be mounting her very frequently. But it drops off over time. Put a novel female rat in the same cage and the male rat will be all over her and mount the the original female rat more frequently as well.

That is called the Coolidge effect after the US President (there is story). I like being cock teased because it puts me on a hair trigger for a week or more. This effect is found in a lot of species but it is always with the males.

I am inclined to think women are excited by men who are hot for them. As one girl put it female sexuality is to be excited by a males excitement.

Having said that it has been established that women prefer bad boys when they are ovulating but nice guys when they are not. Oral contraception affects women's choice in men also. So it can be hormones telling a female to sneak into the bushes with a novel male.

MoonFace2 · Accepted Answer

I think people who do either feel a sense of entitlement, that they can do better, or they shag around rather than having the guts to fix their relationship with their partner, or their needs aren’t being met.

Vevv123 · Accepted Answer

Not sure why people do it, must be their lack of self-love and sympathy for others. They’re probably cold-hearted people that lack the sentiment to connect deeply with those around them.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Let's dive into the spicy side of relationships. On Girls Ask Guys, my aim is to share what I've learned about love and connection. Cheating often happens due to unmet needs, curiosity, emotional disconnection, or sometimes just sheer temptation and a craving for novelty. People might lovebomb initially but fail to maintain the passion, leading to straying eyes. It's a red flag if there's repetitive dissatisfaction. Remember, communication is your magic wand to tackle these issues. Keep it dreamy and real, my friend! 😉✨

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OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. I have never cheated, so I cannot answer this question based on my own experience, but I have twice been the victim of cheating.

2. People who cheat always have excuses and rationalizations that they tell themselves and others, to try to salvage some self-esteem from the ruins of their destruction. The reasons people give you aren't necessarily the real reasons.

3. My belief - and it may not explain all cheating - is that some people are simply too self-centered to honor their promises on a long term basis, an opportunity for cheating presents itself, and the excitement of the forbidden is something they just don't want to resist.

Consider the fact that many people go their entire lives without ever cheating on a partner. And many of those people were presented with opportunities and walked away from the temptation. Despite what some cheaters will claim, EVERYONE does not cheat.

Summeroflove · Answer

Many people do it simply because they’re led to temptation with someone they find attractive even if a relationship is going good. People with empathy and remorse feel horrible but they find excuses to make themselves feel better as well as make themselves look better if found out.

Dark personalities just cheat…. They don’t make genuine connections so sex is just sex. It’s fun and gets them off. They don’t care who they hurt and sometimes even enjoy the betrayal and get off to it.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because cheaters are selfish people that only think of themselves and they do. what they feel is best for themselves, they don’t factor in their partners’ feelings , just their own. Most people cheat one way or another , whether it’s physical or emotional, basically whatever you can hide from your partner , makes you a cheater

BadApple69 · Answer

As much as I hate saying this… cheating is natural. After being cheated on I read several books on the subject. One such book was the “selfish gene”. What it described was that women (Unconsciously) want to bread with the strongest male so she can have strong offspring. But consciously want a man who is safe and secure. She wants a man that is going to stick around to help raise the off spring.
Men cheat because they can…especially if they are a bigger, stronger male… we get offers from the girls who are looking for that bigger stronger guy.

And for the record, in the past there were many species of animals that were considered to be monogamous for life. Turns out now that many of these species have been studied more it’s not true. As an example there was this bird that mates for life… well they mounted a camera watching the birds nest and when the male would fly off other males came and mated with the female (sound familiar?) yes that male stayed with that female for life but he wasn’t the only one tapping her. And who knows what he was doing every time he flew off.
It sucks but cheating is a natural thing.

godfatherfan · Answer

Anyone who cheats has an inner "piece of shit" gene in them that makes them a sad human being. There are no excuses for cheating. Drugs, alcohol, etc do not make a person cheat. You have control of yourself and you are responsible.

I met my ex-wife around 34 days before I went into the Air Force. I came back after basic and proposed to her. I was in tech school for 7 months. During that time, without looking for anyone, I had 7 women come up to me and just ask if I wanted to get a hotel room. One would have been a threesome, but that doesn't interest me then or now. I could have cheated and my ex-wife would never have known. But I would have known and I would have had to live with that. There was no way I could ever do that.

OneViewpoint · Answer

2 reasons...

1.) The other person in your life is not giving you what you want sexually and/or emotionally. You feel lonely and trapped. You feel your life slipping away. And it's not acceptable to just sit there and let it happen. An opportunity presents itself and you don't let it slip away. Because you want to know if life can be better.

2.) You're an asshole and don't really care about your relationship or the other person. You're self obsessed and you're always gonna get what you want regardless of the consequences to other people. You're basically a narcissist and sociopath having a great time and not caring about the destruction you leave in your wake.

Samuel75 · Answer

There are many reasons though;
(1) Some cheat because they don't love the person (either they are forced into the relationship or because of the good heart of the other partner)
(2) Some cheat because they are not satisfy sexually or otherwise.
(3) Some cheat because the other partner is cheating.
(4) Some cheat because they can't get over their ex maybe this present one can't treat them the way their ex does.
(5) Some cheat because of money
(6) Some cheat because of attention...

There are many other reasons..,

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Not getting enough sex, greedy, revenge, lust mixed with lack of control, power move to show you can get action too... that was thinking mainly males, women... bored, not enough attention, because her current friends do it and talk her into doing it, wants to feel pretty again and cheating is easier than hitting the gym.

Nikki1989 · Answer

People cheat because something is missing from their primary relationship. That is not an excuse, but that is the reason. All these wishy-washy reasons other people will come up on here avoid the real root cause of why people cheat.

dudeinohio · Answer

I don't and never have.

I know People who have and its various reasons.

One guy simply was around a woman who was interested and he went for it.

Another was unhappy at home.

Im sure there are other reasons.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

I don't and I wouldn't  it's better to break up than hurt someone

lilBigPotato · Answer

Unfulfilled desires, boredom, sometimes feelings just happen, etc... But no matter what it is, you always have the choice to say no and end your relationship first before cheating on someone

Anonymous · Answer

We don't! Maybe you do. But we don't.  Why? Character flaw. Selfish. You can dress it up any way you like. But that is the only TRUTHFUL reason. Boil everything else away and that's what's up.

RingOfFire · Answer

I think guys mostly cheat because they are designed by nature to have sex with more than one woman and it's very hard to defy nature. I think girls mostly cheat because they don't feel they are getting enough attention and affection.

RedThread · Answer

Fear, insecurity, selfishness? There can be a whole host of reasons, none of which I understand. I've never cheated and never will. My integrity matters too much to me.

GAGsucksballs89170 · Answer

The only real answer?

To get away with it

Anybody will do anything they can, if they can get away with it. That's why they'll do it. I'm not saying they should do it, I'm just saying, people don't like to be told what to do

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Availability, dissatisfaction, FOMO, hate, insecurity, love, revenge…

Despina6 · Answer

Probably thinking they can do better. I tell them don’t let door hit you on the way out though.

Alex-Snow · Answer

There should be no reason to do it. But I would guess. lack of sex, poor communication, lack of trust etc.

Eempriyanka · Answer

I won't cheat on my boyfriend i promise you

msg321 · Answer

Because people can find someone sexually desirable when they are in a relationship too. (Don't get me wrong. Cheating is bad. I just wanted to explain its logic/reason)

elizamichale1 · Answer

Coz we go nuts sometimes n loose our senses or because we get mad

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

There's no we on this situation but you should know why you cheated lol

Vegasrunner · Answer

Women cheat because they fall out of love.  Men cheat because they are presented opportunities.

Uglygaypoorcoward94 · Answer

Because people are attracted to those that have a mate theyre drawn to that happy energy. Nobody wants someone who nobody wants

Oldschool1981 · Answer

My wife just really likes sex with lots of guys. I knew this when we first started dating

dragoblack · Answer

To start off, i have never cheated and the wisdom i have is from analyzing others relationships. 3 things usually happen to cause cheating 1

LiamJHayden · Answer

I don't, but those who do so act that way because they are, at their core, selfish.

jahaims · Answer

We don't. Only trash cheats. Trash cheats to cope with self hate

Anilkumar3277 · Answer

Like if a girl don't give sex then maybe men do for me..

Jupiter1 · Answer

Don’t generalize. Not everyone cheats. Only inconsiderate liars cheat.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never been in a relationship, but if I were, I would never cheat.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

We don’t.

Alexa6 · Answer

Probably their opportunity. Or they think they can get away with it.

Miristheiss · Answer

I don't know why you cheated. Why did you?

soe11 · Answer

Shouldn't be.

Cyrus000 · Answer

It'll depend on person to person

PaleDale · Answer

We don't have what we need

kaucky1 · Answer

If cheat cheat together morph into other people

blackeagle007 · Answer

Two words…. For sex.

Anonymous · Answer

No idea, I never have and never will.

Anonymous · Answer

Because we have lack of character.

locusteo · Answer

Because we think we can outsmart ourselves.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

To get now taste

itsannalee · Answer

I don’t

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I don't.

Anonymous · Answer

Because we are too much selfish

MasterKS · Answer

Need some Spark!

masterSir · Answer

Because you suck

Anonymous · Answer

Every body cheats

Why do we cheat on a relationship?

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