I need to know if I am overreacting or not?

[Anonymous]

I know there is history in the past that has caused us to have fights and awkward moments towards our sexy time that I have notice his increase of looking up youtube videos and instagram for specific things. I am wondering am I over reacting by getting upset for seeing this? which I looked at his history and he doesn't know. I made a joke with him about his excessiveness and he lost his shit and said can you stop being dam nosey and i work 9–5 shift with my head on a swivel I just want to zone out on shorts. I dont know that night he was very lovey and said he wanted spend more time with me, closeness. So i dont know if I have to do with him looking or if it just him doing what men do. He did try to get us to being intimate but our oldest was still up.

What do you think am I over thinking or is he in the wrong?

Updates

1 y

I understand you all saying yes I am but how? Like I feel his loving Ness is his guilt.

[Anonymous]

I mean yeah pretty much all men look at that stuff from time to time. If you already have kids and stuff and he’s stressed out at work digging through his history isn’t really gonna help anything.

[Asker]

Exactly from time to time this is days and he's going to work early and then spending an hour in the morning looking... that's not ok especially if I'm left with other responsibilities like our kids

[Opinion Owner]

How long has this been going on?

[Asker]

As far as I could see just off and on last week.

[Opinion Owner]

But I mean you mentioned it’s been a problem where you tell him you don’t want him looking at it and he doesn’t agree to stop. How long has that been going on?

[Asker]

Years this is mild compared to what he use to do. He would always be on it.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, then his behavior is slowly improving. But if it’s been going on for years it’s the kind of thing where you’re not gonna just suddenly see eye to eye. It’s a situation where you’re not in the wrong for being uncomfortable with it, but he’s not necessarily in the wrong for just wanting his privacy. So you’d probably need to make some kind of compromise.

[Asker]

I guess I'm just afraid this will get as bad as it did before. I think if it gets that bad there's something else I maybe have to consider

[Opinion Owner]

Well, do you have general issues with intimacy? Like do you have a good sex life?

[Asker]

We have intimacy and sex. But everything awkward around it.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, not sure if this was work but I was thinking trying to improve your sex life could help. If there's awkwardness you might not feel totally comfortable with each other. It leads to him looking elsewhere during his private time.

[Stevepro68]

Sounds like you both need to talk more about how you are feeling and less time wondering what he is feeling and interogating him.

[Asker]

I've tried that in the past and all he does is gets mad and comparing what he's doing to me watching movie with half naked men which isn't a compare or says I have low drive.

[Stevepro68]

Men are simple animals for the most part the social media meme f*** em feed em and leave them alone. Has some truth to care and mainance of men. You can't get milk from chicken and you can't get meat from a tree. If he is a person that like to isolate truth is you either accept it or move on. Everyone is different.. sometimes different is good for you and sometimes it's bad. If it's bad move on with your life. There is also truth to the idea that men are valued for what they offer and not for who they are.

[Asker]

That was a good insight thanks. Really thanks to you all. I think between all this advice and what happen last night. I need to start worrying about me more and stop worrying about what he's doing.

[Abbycado]

Is he not allowed to have privacy from you?

[Asker]

Yes he is. But this has been an ongoing issue for us and I have brought it up in the past and his answer always to get angry and tell me I'm belittling him for having a low sex drive. He's at work like what's the point of looking at that?

[Blueeyes81]

It sounds like you are overreacting to me.

[Asker]

How? Explain how u feel i am. I have asked him multiple times to stop doing this that makes me feel not enough and unattractive. He turns around and keeps saying it's my insecurities. Go get help!

[Blueeyes81]

That's what I say as well. Insecurities. But why ask if you don't want to hear?

[Asker]

I'm fine hearing it. But I feel like it's just switching blame on me instead of looking at what he's doing. 1 hour at work looking like that's normal. No

[Blueeyes81]

Who has the higher sex drive?

[Asker]

I do

[In_Trance]

Yes you are