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If you have a partner and flirt regularly with someone else, is it considered emotional cheating? What about if you liked the other person before?
What types of flirting do you think are acceptable and what’s not?
Why does someone flirt if they are happy with their partner? Does it suggest they are not 100% into their partner?
Flirting with someone else is disrespectful to your partner and every chick I've seen that allows it and entertains it ended up doing something physical with me or whoever else she was doing it with.
1) If they wouldn't do it in front of their partner, it's cheating and it's already deceptive in nature.
2) Double standards are usually in place. Alright for you to do but not for him to do with other chicks? Something is off if that's the case.
3) Just because you tell yourself you can control it, or that your dude is just controlling, jealous, or paranoid is not a valid excuse for shitting all over his boundaries.
4) None of what I said is gender specific but it's coming from me and my perspective.
5) Last but not least, your relationship is between you two, you know if you're shitting on him or not more than I. Some people are cool with it and some are not. But if you're cool with it and your partner is not and you use deception and manipulation just to do it anyways... that's pretty scandalous.
Thanks for this, Yes makes sense. What about flirting which could be seen as innocent eg intense eye contact and leaning in, like if it’s been going on several months with the same person etc.
From my experience that type of flirting eventually leads to a situation or something happening that either remains hidden or starts a fight with their partner.
Innocent flirting in my opinion would be what I would call empty flirting, that is obviously vapid and done in jest, and the partner can be right there... but if I did that with a chick and her boyfriend/husband isn't laughing, I'd probably apologize to him or at least tell him how lucky he is an buy him a drink... then of course knock it off. See for me, there is a clear difference between trying to get a woman to giggle or even say "STFU" and then leave her alone and the other type of flirting is actually trying to get her wet and worked up and resembles pursuit to any outsider.
So if it's been going on for several months with the same person, I think it's a bit too far even if it was initially being done in jest. e. g. if your guy were doing this now for months with some other chick, he needs to knock that shit off because it's a little more than just funny now, it is or has become undue attention. It is no longer banter or a joke routine, it is specialized attention directed and a particular other individual... undue attention.
Also that other woman outside of the relationship is a red flag. I believe women for the most part derive their most pleasure out of flirting from 'attention' and that men derive their most pleasure out of flirting by the sexual nature of it. She would be letting him get out of hand simply for his attention, and that sort of exchange if continued will eventually lead to some sexual interest out of the woman and some 'attention' based interest out of the man and that's when things usually really go too far in my opinion.
Thanks for this, yes I completely understand what you mean, really good to get your insight. Thank you. It’s easy to see how what could be seen as innocent progress I guess.
No problem. I went through a relationship where my girlfriend justified flirting for while and looking back on it, I should've just broke up with her and been done with that drama. My argument was that it will just eventually lead to cheating... I was, but I'll get to that.
I dealt with the gaslighting of being told I'm just jealous, paranoid, and controlling. Or being told, "He's just a really good friend" or "He's just a really nice guy." I dealt with repeated incidents of her continuing to flirt with guys by trying to hide it, only for it to get exposed over and over by texting gone wild, some random guy I don't even know trying to start a fight with me over her, and her "friends" exposing her because she took it too far, to the point that they'd tell me (someone they don't even know) all about it. One such case was the beginning of the end. 2 people on Facebook informed me she had cheated, 2 people I don't even know. That experience has really made me look down on flirting as innocent and also look down on the very idea that men and women "can just be friends," for the most part. There is just a certain line that gets crossed where normal is just over the top, and because it's hard to define that line, it's a topic that comes up a lot on a site like this.
That story I just told you... you wouldn't believe how many other guys messaged me that the same thing has happened to them with almost the same phrases like "you're just being controlling" and so on. It's obviously a repeated scenario that happens so much that the bulk of the dudes on this site basically has the same story. Just food for thought... it's such a common conflict, which sort of makes me feel better knowing that I wasn't special... it happens to most guys. Girls too, it's just the story is a bit different, or the tactics used against them are different.
One day I'll try to write a deep mytake on this topic.
If you are in a committed relationship, then you should be making your partner your top priority and not doing anything that could add fire into your relationship, if you are investing your time into someone else over your partner? Then yes you are cheating , you are cheating on the relationship you chose to be in with them. Think how you would feel if your partner was investing their time into someone else over investing their time into you? So yes flirting with someone else is cheating because you shouldn’t be flirting with anyone else but your partner. That’s a sign that you truly don’t love and value your partner , you only love and value yourself and want what you feel is best for yourself making you selfish person that shouldn’t be in a relationship with anyone period
I've met some people who call what I call being friendly as being flirty. I think complimenting someone on something you enjoy about them is not crossing a line at all, but I know others who would. For me, flirting includes a lot of physical touching mixed with more-direct compliments. I've also met some people who are generally touchy-feely... it really depends on your partner I think. If he's not touchy-feely with anyone else but you (like they're not that way with their friends or family) and he's doing that with other women/men/others I would be disturbed.
I personally dont think emotional cheating is cheating. I think its messed up if you're partner is flirting with other people, especially in front of you (and they know you dont enjoy it). But I wouldn't call it cheating.
flirting with someone else while in a relationship can be seen as emotional cheating, especially if it goes beyond harmless fun. It might suggest u're not fully focused on your partner if you're seeking attention elsewhere... boundaries and open communiction are key in any relationship to make sure both partners feel respected and valued..
Opinion
23Opinion
It certainly is. Especially if you met your partner via flirting. They were once a stranger too… or a friend.
If you wouldn’t have sex with another or take another to your special spot (you and your partner’s spot), then why would you flirt with the stranger if you also flirted with your partner. There should definitely be some separation and one should never do what they do exclusively with their partner with others of the opposite sex (or desired sex, sexually).
Yes, overt, conscious flirting is part of cheating.
It's cheating yeah emotional or not.. No type of flirting is acceptable.. Unless you gave them a light compliment.. And if it's a compliment such "aw you're handsome" or some light flirt along those lines then yeah I would say that they may generally happy.. But, if it's flirting in the way most people think about it, then no they probably aren't happy, one way or another..
Yeah totally get what you’re saying. What about if it were female things- like making intense eye contact, locking eyes regularly, leaning in that kind of thing but over several months?
in my opinion if you are doing something with anyone that you know would make your partner feel uncomfortable or upset if they were actually there with you to see you do it. Then yes it's a problem and a recipe for disaster. But is it cheating... no. should you stop yes. We all like to feel desirable, and it's pretty common for people to actually like to see that others think their mate is desirable. But that doesn't mean they want their mate interacting with that person. There are always exceptions if you are dating a SW and you know he or she is a SW then accepting flirting is part of the deal. In general bad idea for most.
Yes, it is considered emotional cheating to me, no matter what.
No type of flirting.
Yes, it possibly means that they are not content with their current partner or it means that they would prefer to be in a non-monogamous relationship.
So the things is this guy has been doing this to me for several months and he got a girlfriend say 2 months ago but still does it.
Yes I would say so. Especially if you have to hide it from your spouse. For some reason you’re being led astray to something you’re lacking in your marriage. Maybe that’s the excitement, someone new or something. I’ve always felt it was worse when a female does it. When men cheat it’s almost always sexual, usually feelings aren’t involved. I’m not saying it’s right, but in order for most women to cheat they usually have to be emotionally involved w a man to sleep him. Not all the time but women usually need that connection to let their guard down, to be vulnerable w a man. If it continues then what? Will it lead to more? You’ll probably say no but things change, especially if you have an argument or something w your husband. Then you run to the other man to tell him what happened, which is usually his opportunity to move in closer.
This is where the slippery slope actually gets slippier..
A flirty conversation turns into flirty looks turns into flirty touching turns into a flirty late night rendezvous.
Guys, don’t think it’s all fun & games..
Girls, don’t be too harsh on your man if he’s just making friendly talk!
Yeah right, it is a bit like this too. It’s crazy how quickly things can progress from quite innocent to extreme, thanks for this
"Why does someone flirt if they are happy with their partner?"
depends how they are do it. If they flirt while their partner is present in room, I would consider this as some kind of statement
"Does it suggest they are not 100% into their partner?"
this lies on the hand unless it's a relationship where monogamy isn't a topic
It definitely is cheating. I would end the relationship over behavior like that. It is unacceptable.
And would you count small things like intense eye contact, locking eyes, leaning in over several months or not really?
Let’s just say: if I flirt with a girl and my girl doesn’t get angry about it then I’d be worried
The flirting can be harmless
But I do think couples need to be somewhat irrationally possessive of each other in a non invasive way of course
It is cheating. If you have committed your heart and body to one person then you shouldn't be flirting with the opposite sex at all. Why are you hanging out with that other person.
People that think flirting is normal while in a relationship are just a red flag and are proof that they really don't know what healthy boundaries are.
Potentially - people have a bad habit to want to trade up - goes for women also 👀 eyeing that man you think he doesn't know and you don't know yet you're eyeing him alright lol 😆
As much as a player guy who eyes other women than his one back home lol 😆
I think so yes, if i have a girlfriend or a wife, i'd never flirt with other women because i care about her emotions!
Yes I know what you mean, but about something like micro flirting such as intense eye contact but regular (I mean like 4 months of it) kinda with intent, leaning in lots etc.. would that count or not?
A normal eye contact is okay but not intense, cause intense means i'm sending her a signal, an unwanted signal, why would i do that?
Let's reverse the scenario, what if my girlfriend or wife was the one doing this to a man, will i accept? Hell no! Than why shall i do it if i don't accept it to be done to me?
Yeah I know what you mean and what signal even is that do you think?
Yes it does seem too much due to the regularity I guess.
People also have a bad habit of wanting to trade up 🏆
@NicholasRedone how do you mean?
The same people always want more. If deep down they wish they had more. A better car. A better home. A better - lover lol 😆
Goes for men and for women that you know - anyone is human and anyone can cheat in my mind. lol I'm such a funny one to sometimes I have moody days where I do wanna think the best of people and also wanna balance that with thinking humans are humans and flawed 😆 aka prone to opportunity knocking - like they take a new job, they take a better offer for a car or home package, they shrug, take someone's number and call them lol 🤙🏻 lol
For me yeah, and I don’t care about what people said. For me emotionally cheating is worse than physically cheating.
If you're dating or worse married/life partners flirting with anyone, but your SO is inappropriate, insensitive and disrespectful.
I am a Gemini and I am a natural flirt. It just happens.
If it’s hidden from your partner, then it’s cheating. If they know and are ok with it, flirting isn’t cheating.
If it is intentional, then yes, it is a form of cheating. Unfortunately, just being friendly can be considered flirting to some men.
Regular flirting? Yes, that's definitely inappropriate.
Yes regularly, it’s too much eh? What about if it was small things- like intense locking eye contact, leaning in, playful teasing etc. but it’s continuously, is that too much?
Ohhhh yeah... that's definitely playing with fire. Unless there is some extremely boundary line that's been drawn so extremely openly that everybody knows the supposed "flirting" isn't actually flirting and it's super obviously a joke that no one in their right mind would take seriously.
The problem with flirting and such is that you're making an allowance for a fun and enjoyable exchange with someone. And by doing it consistently, you're allowing that exchange to happen in the exact same way that led to you being in a relationship.
At the end of the day, flirting is advertising. Whether anyone wants to acknowledge that's what's going on, or not; it is what's going on. And by displaying that advertisement, you're blurring the lines of your relationship because you're showing that you aren't reserving that more intimate energy for your partner.
Great thanks for this, yes this is interesting. It’s not actually me that has a partner, it’s a guy who keeps flirting with me continuously has a girlfriend
Oh okay. I don't think I'll ever really understand why so many guys think they can do the whole casual flirting thing with lots of women in life. It never works out well. lol
I know why they think it as a concept, but I feel like anyone who has actually talked with women in any real and intimate way can tell you that "casual" is absolutely not how the flirting is received. Women's brains seem to process that stuff totally differently. If you know that the person you're flirting with probably going to hear things differently than how you intend, why take the risk of a miscommunication for a little bit of fun? There's just no real need to.
Flirting is for sure cheating. How is this even a question
A lot of women do flirt, tease guys for no reason. They love misleading us.
I think so especially if you hide from your partner. I flirt with customers but kinda of my job as a bartender.
I don't know, I don't even know how to flirt.
If you are looking for excuses to end a relationship don't wait for a reason to make it the other person's fault. Just end it and get on with your life.
I really think it depends on the type of flirting. Simply smiling at someone might be considered flirting by some. Telling someone they look nice, is that flirting?
Can? Yes. Is it always? No.
That’s emotional cheating
Maybe they don't consider what they're doing "flirting".
Depends o the seriousness behind it
Some people just flirt, with no meaning just fun
I think this is the main thing isn’t it, the intention behind it too,
it absolutely is
Yes and if your hiding things from each other.
Yeah, I've done it
In what ways was it?
No that's extreme
no it can't
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