His ex asked to be his roommate?

[Anonymous]

I have no issue whatsoever with him being friends with his ex. No issue with him helping her, them taking etc.

We were at my place, she called, so I let him have the room. I guess she's planning on coming back and would need a roommate. When the call was over he explained the conversation and their relationship and said there had been a pregnancy scare.

The idea of them living together is where I'd draw the line. I was frustrated so I left the room to think and followed me.

I explained to him my line of thinking. I've been cheated on before and he knows this but I went into detail because the living situation would've been similar.

He apologized and said he understood. Assured me that it wouldn't happen. I just feel like that should've been in his mind while he was talking to her. "How would my girl feel?"

The frustration has already been unleashed and it's been bothering me all day. it's making me feel like an after thought in his decisions, especially since this is one that could impact us.

[Finchie40]

You should never accept someone that is still friends’ and close with an ex , unless they have kids’ together , than that’s a different story , but if there is no kids’ involved , then do not accept them period. It has nothing to do with trust and insecurities, it comes down to respect for each other, he clearly has no respect for you whatsoever, for the fact that he is still close to his ex , don’t think for a second that he isn’t doing anything with her behind your back

[Asker]

I'm still friends with 2 ex's myself. I have no intentions of doing anything with either of them.

[Finchie40]

Unfortunately that might be the reason he is still friends’ with his ex , because he knows you are friends’ with yours’ Keeping exes in the picture is sadly a red flag to a lot of people, because an ex is an ex for a reason , so the respectful thing to do is exempt them from your life when entering into a new relationship, Exes can also add fire into your current relationship especially if it doesn’t sit well with your partner , he might be telling you it’s ok when really it’s not ok , because he doesn’t want you to think he is insecure or controlling. Sadly I witnessed this a lot of times as to why I don’t keep exes in my life when I enter a new relationship, it’s just the respectful thing to do , just because you know you aren’t crossing the line with them , it doesn’t mean you partner will see it that way as well. So all I am saying is be careful if you want your relationship to last with your boyfriend. Because the more time you invest into your exes , your boyfriend might do the same with his ex as well and before you know it they end up in bed together behind your back.

[MannMitAntworten]

Geez …”Assured me that it won’t happen.” He already made his decision. She comes before you. Not worth staying with him. She is his primary concern. Not you. Not your feelings, not your relationship. Doubt you ever will be his primary concern. If it were me, I’d end it because frankly after that moment, I wouldn’t trust a damn thing surrounding her coming out of his mouth anymore.


This is just one example why most people do not want their significant other remaining friends with their exes. I certainly am not friends or keep in touch with any of mine. It isn’t fair for the next significant other to put them through this torment.

[Asker]

I'm still friends with 2 of my ex's. He's aware of this. He's still friends with one of his. I wasn't blindsided by their friendship. He assured me it wouldn't happen, he squashed it as soon as he realizes I was upset, letting her know he wouldn't be her roommate and why.

[MannMitAntworten]

Okay, a bit confused here. Am I understanding now that this post was noting more than a venting post? Next, why omit those details to us here on GAG so as to have a clear understanding? Had I these details I wouldn’t have even responded.

[AI Opinion]

First off, kudos to you for handling the situation maturely and expressing your feelings openly. Feeling like an afterthought is never fun, especially when it comes to such a sensitive topic. The fact that he reassured you says a lot about his intentions. 🚦 It seems he's trying to balance his past and present, albeit a bit clumsily!

Consider this a little "relationship bootcamp" moment. Talk it out and see how your vibes meet halfway. It's okay to have boundaries and be protective of your own feelings. Just remember that trust is key, and his actions moving forward should reflect his words. Keep shining and being the strong woman you are! 💪😉

[14gurlz2gagonit]

Too many red flags. Friends with ex, still talks to ex, is letting ex move in with him...

They are two people that have most likely been sexual with each other before. It wouldn't take much for them to agree on having some sex and just not telling you about it.

It's your situation though and obvious boundaries for me don't seem to be for you. If he cheats though, I wouldn't be surprised at all... I would be expecting it the entire time just from them still talking. The whole living together thing is just over-the-top ridiculous beyond the friends and talking stuff which I also consider ridiculous.

[Asker]

I'm still friends with 2 of my ex's. He's aware of this. He's still friends with one of his. I wasn't blindsided by their friendship. He squashed it as soon as he realizes I was upset, letting her know he wouldn't be her roommate and why.

[14gurlz2gagonit]

I still think that being friends with ex's is extremely sus. I am curious what culture you're from and is this normal within it?

I mean seriously he's doing it, you're doing it, does everybody tend to do that around you? That's not normal at all with my standards.

[Asker]

It's not super common. But I left on a good note with both guys. We don't hang out too often. But if I needed something I could reach out. We were dating and realized that we weren't in love but we could still have a good conversation.

[14gurlz2gagonit]

Your age grouping doesn't scream High School to me. He was having sex with her and you had sex with your own ex's though right? Then just friends afterwards? That's like letting a cat out of a bag and then trying to put the cat back in the bag just for good conversations. Does not seem logical to me at all.

[Asker]

Yes. I slept with both men. I have no intentions of sleeping with either again, no desire to either. In essence that cat is dead...

[14gurlz2gagonit]

Well, good luck on that situation.

[Anonymous]

People do all sorts of things.

[Anonymous]

She’s weird