Do you think it’s stupid to give yourself fully to your partner?

Question

When I get into a relationship with a girl that is choosing me like I am choosing her , and we are both on the same page as things , Do you think it’s stupid to fully give yourself to her , or should you back up some and keep yourself safe from heart break? I always hear people say to not give yourself fully to your partner because they will eventually take advantage of you and break your heart. I always hear guys’ saying things like this , basically implying once a girl knows you aren’t going anywhere , she will get bored of you and end up leaving you or cheating on you. So if that’s the case? , then what’s even the point of being in relationships , if that’s eventually going to happen? From my experiences in relationships through the years , I give my heart fully to her if she is giving her heart fully to me , Making her my top priority hoping she is doing the same for me. But some of those girls’ ended up breaking my heart or cheating on me when they knew I loved them with all my heart , so when I hear other guys’ saying things like this , I tend to believe them nowadays because it’s happened to me a few times before. When I didn’t give my heart fully to a girl , it seems she chases me more because I am now harder to get , , so is that the trick of keeping a girl in a long term relationship? By not fully giving yourself to her? It makes no sense to me. Why I am no longer rushing into relationships with girls’ because of shit like this

NoDecision · Accepted Answer

Well, you are obviously choosing the wrong girls. I feel that why be in a relationship if you are NOT going to give it 100%? I mean who can know if some flake will break up with you, or for what reason? But you can't live like it will happen. You can only know what you are putting in, and what your intentions are. And for these reasons it is not a good idea to rush into anything, especially after a recent breakup. Because you have to get over and heal from something before you can move on. Otherwise, you are just on the rebound, and rebound relationships usually turn out to be short-lived, and they usually have a high casualty rate. One las thing, as you have said, "When I didn’t give my heart fully to a girl , it seems she chases me more because I am now harder to get , , so is that the trick of keeping a girl in a long term relationship? By not fully giving yourself to her?" No Finchie, that simply means game playing is going on. Lots of girls love to play the game of "The Catch", and guys the game of "The Chase". Girls love to be chased, and then finally to be caught. And the guys love to catch their love interest. I myself never found games to be of any value. So, unless you know that a girl wants to be caught, the Chase has no value.

Crimsyjo · Accepted Answer

It's a balance because a guy - or gal - that overly chases can be less attractive. But I think deliberately playing games - pulling back and being unobtainable- to make someone chase is stupid. And likely to back fire. Unless she is someone of low self worth.

I think the courting process needs to be equal chasing. Not too much. Just right amount. Be honest if you like someone. Honest if you feel a spark. Honest if you are feeling something deeper after a while. Watch for the other person matching you. If they seem hesitant or pull back, maybe do same to protect oneself. But it's like a dance. Navigating feelings and the relationship all with the PURPOSE of yes giving yourself. Completely. Otherwise no point. But it's not something to rush.

Haha not that I'm an expert. I can't even get a guy my age to wanna actually date and open up and want something beyond physical 🙄

Pikapocket · Accepted Answer

Unless she's basically obsessed with you, never fully give your heart to a woman. Honestly, this, and the notion that dating for men in our current society is completely sexist and fucked up, even more so now thanks to social media, is why I mostly stay to myself! Most women are mentally like forever children and lack morals and loyal, honorable affections that make sense. Not all men are moral and honorable, but you would think those values would be attractive traits and appreciated! I also don't like to constantly play games, hold back my love, and not be myself! Bitches be crazy!

Sal_Monella · Accepted Answer

My short answer is yes. you cannot know how she will handle total control over you. And she was attracted to you by your character and if you let your character get weak you will lose your attraction to her. Absolutely do not give yourself fully to your partner just be a good helper.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Hey there! My mission is to sprinkle some love dust on your relationship queries! 😉 Giving your heart fully is brave and beautiful, but balance is key. Ensuring there's mutual respect, trust, and open communication is gold. Love should be a partnership, not a chase. If she’s genuine, she won’t get bored with authenticity. 💙 Prioritize self-love while loving her. The right one will value and cherish your full-hearted approach. Remember, vulnerability is strength! Protect your heart, but don't build walls so high that love can't climb over. Embrace love and its risks, my friend!

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I think that happens more if a person doesn't fully love you. Once they catch you and know you aren't going anywhere they just treat you badly. They feel like you are the safe place and they can treat you badly because you aren't really who they want. So they cheat on you with someone they really want but who doesn't want them and they can safely return to you. I think it is too many people getting with people they don't actually want because if you really both loved each other completely life would be perfect and you would both strive to make the other person happy and in turn you would be happy.

slatyb · Answer

Don't invest too much, or expect too much early in a relationship. You should know this at 47. Especially don't rush her for an early commitment. In short, don't love bomb hear. Don't "give your heart fully" as soon as you meet her. Consider counseling.

chrissykerdock · Answer

no that's the way it should be you get burned you get burned

Lliam · Answer

If you are not willing to give yourself fully to her, there is no reason for her to give herself fully to you. Therefore, a relationship is impossible. You are going to be lonely forever, dude.

Nikki1989 · Answer

This is a case of rampant overthinking.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. I wouldn't let on that you're holding back. Go through the motions to make her feel secure that you're all-in. But I wouldn't even think about giving yourself fully to your partner until you've been together at least a decade.

Anonymous · Answer

I believe in fully giving one's self to their partner as long as it is mutual. And if it's not, then it's not meant to be.

It's important to allow yourself to be vulnerable, because without that you cannot develop a deeply intimate bod.

Anonymous · Answer

If she's my type of girl, I don't think it's stupid.

EmmaMary · Answer

Oh dear, been dumped yet again, have we?

exitseven · Answer

Either you are in it or else go home.

Do you think it’s stupid to give yourself fully to your partner?

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