Do you love your partner unconditionally?

[snackthatsmilesback]

Or is there something they could do (or not do) that would make you stop loving them?

Inspired by the question Do men actually believe only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally?

Yes: they could do ANYTHING and I would still love them EXACTLY as they are.

No: there is SOMETHING they could do which would make me stop loving them.

Updates

+1 y

For those who said yes, just to clarify:

That means like they could become severely disabled or disfigured,
Adopt every single habit you don't like to an extreme degree,
Become an activist for the direct opposite political values from you,
Cheat on and dump you, repeatedly,
Become a terrorist,
Summon a demon to eat puppies—specifically the ones that small children love and are paying attention to,

And you would still love them exactly AS MUCH and exactly AS THEY ARE while they do those things?

[ohshee]

When ever I see a guy with a dog i thank God that he made dog to be man's best friend. Because until then man didn't know what love was. Dogs are the one that taught men unconditional love if there is no dog men would still be cavemen and in knowing all this.
I love myself unconditionally and understanding this because I can love everybody unconditionally some more than others. There's five thousand different types of love either number one or number 5,000 is unconditionally if everybody here was to love everybody unconditionally for one day 2 days a week the month of the year it will change your life. I've been pretty blessed did I stop and I see you I watched and I learn and I listen I don't care where I'm at what I'm doing who I'm with if there is a dog or a child around baby come my best friend they walked straight up to me and they start communicating is unconditionally they can tell who people are unconditionally but they also know good from bad. I have friends that have kids and pets if I go to their house or they come to my house the kid and the pet does not want to leave.
You have to experience love through yourself first try it for a day or week everybody you come in contact with you have to have a smile and you have to love them unconditionally see if your life changes

[AviatorTom]

Yes, I would continue to LOVE them. However, I may not LIKE something they do.

LOVE is an invitation for them to be themselves.
LIKE is a judgment call about wither you agree with what they do.

You can dislike what someone does and still love them.

[AviatorTom]

Your update is more about LIKING what your partner does. You could still LOVE them even though they might do some "terrible" things like in your list.

[snackthatsmilesback]

What makes you a terrible person except doing terrible things? There are a lot of different definitions of love going around and most do sound valid, but I know 100% if someone summons a demon specifically to eat puppies, that tells me they are a bad person. I find it hard to believe anyone should invite a bad person to be themselves.

[Anonymous]

honestly what you're describing really is if they changed their whole personality. could you still love someone if hey became someone else? in my opinion its hard. technically you're even with the person you actually fell in love with anymore so why be stubborn for the sake of “unconditional love” and force yourself to “love” another person. thats not love thats stubbornness. becoming bedridden, disabled or anything of that sort should not be in the same category as everything else. it depends on a lot of factors on both ends. some would continue if their partner changed completely but would leave if there was physical harm, some would be okay with physical harm but would leave at a disability. all in all, the short answer is i dont believe unconditional love in the sense you're talking about actually exists, i think its something we made up and are sticking to because it “sounds” nice.

[Opinion Owner]

they* technically you're not even with the person* omg I don't know why there are so many errors in that oops..

[Iwonder99999]

What? The actions you take have nothing to with your personality

[Iwonder99999]

In my opinion the person you knew will always be the same person, so if you love them it doesn't matter what they do because they're still the same person you love.. for someone to change their whole personality they would have to become possessed or say different stuff than what they typically would

[Opinion Owner]

actions have to do with personality…. the actions someone takes depends on who they are as a person and that includes personality. excluding outliers, actions usually easily correlate with personality for eg im an extrovert so i do a lot of typical extrovert things yet me introvert friends shudder at the thought. actions are manipulated by us as people as we are literally the ones that decide on those actions it’s impossible for personality to not have an effect on actions. personality isn't the LARGEST contributor towards actions however it still contributes to the end result. what even is personality however? the answer changes depending on a lot of people so our understandings of personality may be completely different. morality, experience, environment, values all come into it and your actions usually depend on all of these just as everything to do with humans does.

second thing- thats just you. im talking about possibilities not certainties. im asking the what ifs. if someone you were wth changes completely as a person and you insist theyre sill them, you're biased due to the emotional connection and memories you have of them. if you met this person randomly, lost contact then met them again and noticed their personality shifted, you wouldn't think of the, the exact same way as before. you dont have to be “possessed” to change your personality entirely, I've met many people who were quite charismatic and fun yet later on became radicalised, surrounded by conspiracies, easy to anger. “personalities” are liquid, ever-changing you can't just pretend they dont change. its common knowledge our personalities change as we age and experience life.

how i personally feel bout this subject is just my own opinion. you have every right to disagree. im sure i would think differently were i directly in the situation as would you and every other person. you dont need to agree with me,

[tilmyheadblows]

Im in the unpopular vote here, but yes, my current partner could do literally anything regardless of how vile an act and I would still love him unconditionally.

Whether I would continue to be with him, have any contact etc is different. If my husband were to murder someone in cold blood I wouldn't want to be around him or associate with him or be with him ever again, but I dont think that takes away everything thats happened beforehand that made me love him, yknow? I don't know I just don't think its black and white really, but its also tough to say without having lived it.

[Iwonder99999]

Why it matter if your partner kill someone? Lol I mean I never would myself cos I like my freedom, but when someone kills another I really don't care lol, humans are pieces of shit. The less of them alive the better lol 😂

And beside... If they get caught the partner doing the Time not me lol

[snackthatsmilesback]

@Iwonder99999 "if they get caught" and you didn't turn them in or leave them? harboring, accessory, conspiracy? Yes you probably would go to jail

[Iwonder99999]

How are they gonna prove I knew they was a murderer?
I could act like they didn't tell me it, it's not my responsibility to turn them in, it's the police responsibility to do their job n catch em lol

[Iwonder99999]

If I could actually get arrested for. living with a murderer and not turning them in that's some bullshit I don't agree with,. I agree. with most laws but I'm not gonna abide by some bullshit. They won't get me to do something I don't wanna do with threats and scaring me looool

[Iwonder99999]

Anyway I would convince them. not to kill and try to get get em. to. stop cos it's cruel... I think that's enough on my. part.. if they ignore. me and continue that's nothing to do with me police...

[snackthatsmilesback]

@Iwonder99999 it's not my job to prove it. Saying you're gonna be suspect, and your word won't mean much on its own. Also yes it is your job to report them and you can be charged if you don't

[tilmyheadblows]

@Iwonder99999 its alright man, I was 14 once too. You'll grow out of it.

[FTnWo]

So the first time she was fucming around I took her back after she took off, in the meantime I found out about another dude she was talking real nasty to but I loved her so much I took her back and that was to find out that the 3 months we weren't together she fucked 3 other guys and damn... well the past is the past but here we are 3 years later and I catch her being shady again and I instantly lost that I'll always love you feeling and left her.
Well she cried and begged me to stay so I did and I fucking hate my life, we been together 20 years are married and have two kids and now she is so nice and loving and I fucking don't like that either... I don't ha
Ve the heart to tell her

[t-8900]

damn that shit is complicated!

[Anonymous]

Some people attach easier then others. Some have different notions and it's extremely hard to let go for them. I've been in bad relationships. I didn't usually leave them right away either. Even though I have always known i deserve better than that. But what you think you deserve and what reality throws at you, especially as a man these days are two very different things. I know many, many good girls out there. And ofc they're always taken lol. I've been cheated on, hit, verbally abused, yeah it just sucks out here for a good hearted man. The world has got no time for someone like me.

[lilyanony1]

I think I loved my ex unconditionally.
I put up with so much. I was completely blinded by him and the love I had for him.
But things changed when I really needed him twice on two separate occasions.
I already saw who he was and knew he had some ways I didn't like but i thought I could handle it and we were kind of OK.

But these things I really struggled to recover from.

He let me down.

[lilyanony1]

But I still love him. I just can't be with him.

[Xoxocutekitty]

If he cheats or turns physically abusive of course I'm walking out.

Even emotional abuse, telling me I'm [ad hominem] just because we disagree on something and I'm out.

I don't care how much you might disagree with someone, you don't resort to calling them crazy or fat or ugly or trashy.

[nice-girl]

I used to love him unconditionally, but now not anymore as he disappointed me too many times. I think there are things that he could do that would make me not love him.
I checked the other question which inspired this question and I think it is true up to some point that men will love more unconditionally. And the results of this question show this too.

[cookiecrusher]

I'd say him disapointing you was a condition 😗

[nice-girl]

@cookiecrusher yes it may be

[nice-girl]

@cookiecrusher it was more doing the same thing over and over again, emphasize on too many times

[Shortman70]

I will always love my bride. There's is only one thing that would make us fall apart. But even if that happened, I would still love her, she gave me children, she's supported me, she's loved me, made me a better person. That act could never take that kind of love away but it would tear down the other parts of live that we have built. Love is a very complicated emotion. You will always love someone but you may not like them. Live is very confusing.

[Iwonder99999]

Well there's a difference between displaying love and feeling love.. if you found the "one" your soul partner... You will always love them for who they are cos they will always be the same person inside... So If I loved her she can pretty much do anything and I still will.. if she turned out to be a seriel killer I wouldn't care... I'd only draw the line if she cut my dick off or something... Id be mad at her for years and never forgive her for that.. I'd leave her. In the back of my mind I still love her but IL choose not to show it anymore.. fuck her

[lightbulb27]

yes, I love my girlfriend unconditionally. That means I set her as priority, give to her, and am concerned about her health, fulfillment in life to sacrafice of my own.

I don't put conditions on the love I give her... like she doesn't have to to do this or say that, dress a certain way, achieve some specific goals, etc... I give love in various forms. I know she's a huamn being, with a child inside that is fragile, as all of us, so I accept imperfection and realize it.

[KrisPW]

If he suddenly turned and beat me, or our future child, he's gone. Decided to quit his job and do drugs all day. Gone. Rape or abuse another woman. Gone. I'd regret the lost feelings of the love we had, but not of ending things.

[qwert1234]

No. Everything has conditions. My ex asked me if I could do all for her - I said no, but I will try my best to do so.. I clarified "all" is a vague term. What if she asks me to give up my passion for example? That was brought up during our breakup. All I had to say to her is, we don't live on a movie or a fantasy world. I would be lying if I say I could do everything for her. It would be sweet, but a lie. Choose one.

[Andres77]

I'm going to say yes... but loving someone does not mean tolerating inappropriate behavior. It does not mean compromising your own values. It does mean that you will be willing to find a way forward.
You can still love someone and still part ways.
If you love them then you want them happy.
But you also have to love yourself enough not to tolerate abuse or destructive behavior.
I never said it would be easy.

[ODC2112]

There is not any unconditional love. In the more extreme condition you love your partner because he/she is your partner, therfore it is a condition, in the same way you love your child because he is your child, your dog or anything else.

Many people say that love other, but instead love only themself reflected on others. The main condition is I love you until I am going to see me reflected into you.

[LoneWolf21]

There is no such thing as unconditional love. If someone is saying that there is, they are either trying to manipulate you, or they are naive and just begging to be manipulated and abused.

[Rei02]

It is sad, but love can't be unconditionally. The first unconditional love we need to practice before anyone else is the love to ourselves. After that, we can try to love someone else unconditionally.

[BigApe]

I answered yes. Ask me if I LIKE the puppy eating demon-terrorist and maybe I'd answer differently. Ask me if I agree with her crazy-ass political bends, or if I find her toenail clipping at the dinner table appealing and I'd answer differently. "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. Oh, no! it is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.". That's Shakespeare, not me. But I agree. Love is, eternal.

[Phoenix98]

I would love my partner conditionally but immensely to the best of my ability if I had one.

But I refuse to love someone unconditionally because it opens the door to to many potential problems or bad habits or doing things I am not ok with.

[shaysh87]

If romantic love was unconditional then nobody would be divorcing. The only type of unconditional love would be a parents love for their child.

[Teatree7979]

True.

[devilish-cutie]

of course not, ifthey cheat me, beat me, like no
and love is always conditional and it should be except with parent-child relationship

[BigApe]

You bring up a good point. I believe that real love is unconditional, myself. You mentioned the parent-child relationship. The question can be expanded to whether unconditional love exists at all. What do you think?

[devilish-cutie]

@BigApe in a sense love can be unconditional but doesn't mean if you love someone you should accept them beating you. Or if you leave them that you dont love them. But try first defining love

[GoldenCage]

I dont have a partner but if they do a crime or hurt others or animals. And if they treat me badly than yes I will leave.

[lilaccc]

yes, i ever do that and i realize that it makes me sick and thinking something is wrong. so i give up, i better always learn to unconditional love for myself before others while "i'm in my world".