Girlfriend’s constant complaints and hot and cold attitude is putting me off. What should I do?

Question

We’re in the early stages of a relationship. Lately we’ve been having an issue where she’s been acting hot and cold. She’s a bit uptight and serious and I’m more easygoing. We’ve been having this constant back and forth of me attempting to get close, she pushes me away emotionally, I reflect the energy and get distant too, then she complains that she can’t understand me because I don’t talk, and prefer not to talk to people that irritate me until I cool off.

She’s never been to any bars so I invite her to see the nightlife. She complained of walking a few mins in heels. Complains about the bar not having menus, the bartender is gives me this “is she serious” look. Then she says “is this all we do, just sit, listen to music and drink? It’s so boring”. I asked if she wants to dance, which she didn’t. I had to walk away to cool off before taking her to my place for a movie. She wanted snacks but everything I gave her was either too sweet or too many calories. I asked why does nothing I do ever satisfy her? She turns away and stays quiet. I told her to bring her own snacks to avoid dealing with a critic. She gets mad I don’t offer food as if she forgets she barely likes nor finishes anything I offer. She also complains that I’m quiet during movies, my fault for enjoying a good story.

After the movie she said she had to go home. We’ve already been physically intimate so I kiss her and ask her to stay a little bit longer and attempt to escalate but she stops me saying she wants to go slow then just stays quiet…I was irritated because I thought we were past this. Since she had to go home, I lied that I was tired and sent her off. She texts saying how she wanted to stay. I told her I only asked her to stay a little bit longer. Why say you need to go if you wanted to stay?

She’s from China and my Asian friends told me of the “leftover woman” stereotype where women over 35yrs have crazy standards that ruin their relationships. They said she’s never gonna satisfied, RUN.

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

I've dated Asian women including an online relationship I've had with one for a couple of years that finally seems to be winding down now.

There are huge cultural differences between Asian women in China and Southeast Asia for example an Americans.

It's a difficult gap to bridge. One part of it I've experienced is that they are much more practical thinking. They're much more tuned into what is whereas Americans are more used to dreaming about what could be. In my case I think that has been a barrier to the relationships I've experienced. Without the dreams it's not a relationship to me it's more like a job.

I have a cousin who is married to a Chinese woman (she's an American citizen now but was born in China) though and they have been happily married for maybe 40 years. So their children are my half Chinese blood relatives! She happens to be one of my favorite people in the family. I really like her a lot. They're both doctors. So it's not an impossible relationship just a difficult one to navigate because of the cultural differences.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

Sounds like you might want to consider a new girlfriend, more into doing things you like without complaining. Considering women outnumber men in the world, the numbers are in your favor.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The truth is she doesn't find you attractive. That's why everything you don't doesn't satisfy her. If a handsome guy did those things she wouldn't complain, trust me.

EmmaMary · Accepted Answer

Regrettably you need to Dump and Run... Good Luck.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As a relationship coach extraordinaire, my mission is to help navigate these romantic rollercoasters. 🌟 Your situation sounds like a classic clash of expectations and communication hiccups. Her hot and cold vibes mixed with your easygoing nature might be creating some static. It's possible she's struggling to adjust to your rhythm while dealing with her uptight tendencies.

Before sprinting, have an open chat about your feelings and find common ground. If it feels like Deja Vu with no positive changes, it might be time to reconsider. Remember, love should elevate you, not drain you, darling! 😘

Finchie40 · Answer

She sounds like a basket case , get rid of her ass unless you want to stay miserable

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

Good. She suck. Holy shit dude.

jahaims · Answer

You are trying to make someone compatible with you when they aren't. Always a mistake

slatyb · Answer

Your friends are right. She will never be happy, and as long as you are with her, neither will you. End it.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Dump her. There are too many decent women (and for the straight women, men) out there for anyone to put up with nonsense. Let the crazies date the crazies.

msc545 · Answer

Get a new girlfriend. The one oyu have now is broken and cannot be fixed.

MrChinaski · Answer

Hot and cold

noohair · Answer

This is simple. The only person that you can change is yourself.

SuperZonicGUY1992 · Answer

Dump her stupid moronic maga racist ass. Let me guess this b Karen is a Republican for sure. I can tell all Republican woman are bipolar.

Staximus · Answer

Just tell her nothing's ever good enough for her and you can't deal with it anymore

Anonymous · Answer

She seems like a nightmare dude

Anonymous · Answer

Find someone stable

StevenMcGarrett · Answer

Spank her until she behaves.

Anonymous · Answer

I guess the key is in good communication.

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

duh break up

Girlfriend’s constant complaints and hot and cold attitude is putting me off. What should I do?

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