Would you rather a partner with $500k in debt or over 5 children?

[Simslover92]

$500k in debt

Over 5 children

[Anonymous]

You can't just ask a question like that without more information. Because my knee-jerk reaction is "Neither". But that's just because both definitely suggest she is a very poor decision maker. I mean there are circumstances for both. She could've had a medical issue that put her deeply in debt. And it's possible she was married to a good man and he passed away. But neither possibilities are the NORM. Odds are greater that she had 5 kids (possibly with 5 different men). Even if it was with just man. Why isn't she with him still? Like I said poor decision make. And if it's not medical issue that put her deeply in debt, there really is no excuse for being in debt that deep.

[Simslover92]

Well there is student loan debt. Some are at least $250k in debt alone with just student loan debt from getting a masters and close to $300k-400k with a PhD. So it can rack up easily to $500k if you add on credit card debt to that. Of course not smart or responsible but it does happen for some people.

[Opinion Owner]

So if I go out and take out a half million dollar loan with no definitive plan to pay it back that makes me not irresponsible how?
And before you bust my chops on this I get that this is very common path. But this is WHY the avg. American is about 100k in debt. And the avg. American does not have a PhD.
And understand I am NOT knocking education. Far from it! But leaping without a definitive plan is foolhearty. There are ways to reduce the future burden. You can work and save during high school (I know several people who've went that route). You can JUCO it for the first 2 years. Because it doesn't matter where or how you start, only how you finish.
Unfortunately judgement comes with dating. I'm judged as a man all the time. I don't feel the least bit bad about judging her. And I never said I wouldn't accept her, her debt, or her kids. We ALL make mistakes. It's a part of the journey. But a person that DOESN'T LEARN from thier mistakes IS a red flag and will just drag you down with them. No person (woman or man) should blindly accept that.

[Simslover92]

I don't disagree with you. I even said it wasn't smart or responsible.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, the older you get the more both genders have to deal with baggage. It just comes with the territory. Both of these instances are plausible. But she should have a good reasoning for it. Otherwise she's going to find kicked to the curb real fast. But if she can prove she's a good, smart person and truly victim of circumstance, then the right guy WILL accept her.

[msc545]

We can do something about that 500K like bankruptcy or just simple debt avoidance.

The children, who will cost as much or more, not so much to be done.

[msc545]

After reviewing the other responses, I believe mine deserves to be labeled as the "most helpful" since it is the only one that includes a cost analysis. What do you think?

[Apple1996]

5 kids are most likely never gonna cost a step parent 500k. I have 5 almost 6 kids and still haven't paid that much raising them from birth

[Simslover92]

Yep you can always clear $500k in debt but you can't get rid of 5 or more children. It's a big responsibility to raise 5 or more children that aren't yours. I'm not sure how much it would cost to raise more than 5 children but I do know the responsibility would be a lot. Once you get rid of the $500k, that's it. So you will get MHO @msc545

[msc545]

@Apple1996, your kids will not appreciate you being poor. and your children may not understand the challenges of living in poverty.

[Apple1996]

@msc545 who said anything about being in poverty? My kids are spoiled. That doesn't mean they are that expensive. Unless someone is raising kids in a very expensive city they won't cost 500k

[msc545]

It costs about an average of 100K to raise a child from birth to 18 in the US. Unless you're planning to sell off the children or not feed them or not send them to school or generally to not provide well for them then it's going to cost you that much or more.

[Apple1996]

Okay so even with that "average" how would someone with 5 kids most of them probably already half grown or maybe even fully grown into adulthood, other parent either paying child support or having custody of them cost a step parent 500k? Unless you're trying to date a woman who is pregnant with quints and she has no baby daddy or job. It would not be costing anything near that. The debt would still be more expensive

[msc545]

@Apple1996 You are really incredibly stupid. Go away.

[Genie23]

Debt can be paid. I wouldn't mind choosing a man with debt but I love children. Doesn't matter if they are someone else's kids. They make me happy so I'd pick the one with over 5 kids even if we'll barely have time and privacy for romance 🤣

[Anonymous]

Debt. Debt can be paid off or deferred, but children are inseparable until they’re at least 18. Five is a lot of kids.

[anon1903]

Debt has interest

[Opinion Owner]

@anon1903 good point. That’s one of the downsides of debt. But five kids aren’t great either.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach here at Girls Ask Guys, I'm all about helping lovebirds navigate life's curveballs! $500k in debt or a bunch of kids? Whew, talk about choices! Financial burdens might feel like an avalanche, but kiddos can bring their own delightful chaos. It's all about what you can handle and where your heart feels cozy. Remember, love conquers all…and a little humor helps too! 💕😂 So, what tickles your fancy in the relationship rollercoaster? 🌟

[Apple1996]

The kids. It'd be absolutely insane to choose the debt. Also the kids ages aren't listed so they could easily be grown or the other parent could have custody. Kids are fun, debt isn't

[MannMitAntworten]

So true.

[FenixG45]

@Apple1996. Of my eye!

[Avicenna]

Both of them are complete dealbreakers, but if I had to choose one, it would be the heavily indebted woman rather than the one with five kids.

[Avicenna]

After all, maybe she can get all of the debt or most of it discharged in bankruptcy

[Finchie40]

500k in debt , because 5 children is millions lol

[Screenwriter]

These are the only two choices? Both are incredible, burdensome responsibilities and neither appeals.

However, it will take longer to pay off a 500k debt than to raise five children who are, 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and 11. In 18 years, at least some of them will be out of the house and working.

It would take you 20 years of paying 25K a year to pay off such a debt on your own IF you had no other debts.

In either case, you'd be living a stressful life.

[Avicenna]

Her debts aren't yours, but it will be a lot harder to avoid helping to raise her kids and pay their expenses

[Billlewis]

This reminds me of a joke that was making the rounds during the 1988 presidential campaign between George H. W. Bush and Michael Dukakis. A guy is out jogging when he is accosted by a masked gunman, who, while holding the gun to his ribs, begins going through the jogger's pockets. As he does so, he asks, 'Bush or Dukakis?' When the jogger doesn't immediately respond, he again asks, 'Bush or Dukakis?', jamming the gun against the other man's back for emphasis. Says the jogger: 'Go ahead and shoot'.

[MisterWack]

$500k in debt.

Debt gets paid back slowly overtime and partner doesn’t mean ‘married’.

5 children, I would say you are married not dating.

I’d go $500k, it is their debts though 5 children would be a burden shared by both.

We all know in this economy 5 children costs way worse than previous generations.

[MisterWack]

Housing, Food, Transportation, Taxes, Rent, Toys, Games, Subscriptions, Clothing, etc.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

A partner is a partner & if she’s $500,000 in debt I still love her the way she is. As for me I don’t plan on getting married & if truth be told I’m not stupid enough to het married especially nowadays. If she is in debt it’s hers not mine & debt can always be paid off.

[Flower7]

I’d rather deal with the debt than the baggage from kids. Besides, the debt would be his responsibility, not mine.

[slatyb]

Fortunately I never had to make that choice. What about you? Would you rather have a partner who cheats constantly, or a partner who doesn't cheat but is drunk all the time?

[Simslover92]

A partner who doesn't cheat but is drunk all the time. At least I won't have the risk of catching an STD or worse aids.

[Luopio27]

Most women in here that answered my question:
Is being a 40 year old virgin in 14K debt a red flag!


made fun of me, called me with insults and agreed it being a deal breaker!


Now a 500k debt vs a single mom of 5, I can't just off the bat throw you an answer. It depends what she is in debt for, like a mortage loan, a company gone bankrupt, or is it blood money! As far as the mom with 5 kids, is she pretty, fun and loyal or a damsel in distress?

[Nikki1989]

That amount of debt would be crippling to anyone.

[NathanDavis]

if these are the only two options... I would prefer a family

I would not mind to have four or six kids...

[itsannalee]

The kids, maybe he is rich who can be able to provide that 5 kids. Coz poor people shouldn’t have kids.

[katiesmuff]

How about neither one, however if it was a choice I'd have to make I'll take the 5 kids.

[FenixG45]

Agreed

[RedInnocent69]

That’s complicated. Is it good debt, like a mortgage on a house? Are they my children?

[Simslover92]

They are someone else's children. And it could be any type of debt.

[RedInnocent69]

On a balance of probability, I think I’d go for the debt over the kids

[Aakash_Hangargi]

5kids is still fine, once it was normal to have five or more kids haha people even had 10kids and survived.

[Coden7]

How much money is she making? I mean if she’s 500k in debt, but is only a fraction of her income, then sure lol

[BDRick]

I mean, truthfully, neither lol. However, five children means five people to love, which is beautiful

[Staximus]

That's tough one, both make poor life decisions

[Babygirl_S]

Definitely not interested in a single dad. His kids may start drama

[LiamJHayden]

What is the source of the debt? A mortgage on a house that is increasing in value?

[lyrem04]

Depends… how much money does he make?

[Simslover92]

I'm not sure. It's just two choices. But I'm pretty sure whoever has $500k in debt is making enough money to pay it off eventually because usually its from student loan debt meaning they probably have a masters or PhD.

[lyrem04]

Okay ig the student with 500 K dept lol 😂

[FenixG45]

These are kind of equivalent, except one of them has ZERO rewards!

[Anonymous]

Neither option seems to be alluring, I voted B.

[Paige90]

I don't want either of them

[exitseven]

are these your choices?

[Simslover92]

The $500k debt over the over 5 children. Too much responsibility.

[exitseven]

500K debt you can declare bankruptcy. 5 kids is something you cannot walk away from

[Simslover92]

Right. Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Where's the both option? The 5 children can all get jobs to pay of the $500 in debt.

[PessicaJeter]

Honestly, both options sound like a hard pass.

[stratford]

I love a looser pussy so it's an easy choice.

[loveyouoak]

A partner with $500k in debt. I don't like children.

[lilBigPotato]

Guess I'll just stay single 🤷‍♀️

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I would rather just be a cat lady

[MannMitAntworten]

Can the five children work a ranch? :-p

[anon1903]

None. I hate them both equally

[Phoenix98]

Neither they are both horrible options.

[RHK36]

Neither they're both irredeemable

[TheSpaceGnome]

Debt.

Even over just 1 child.

[Didemio]

I don't prefer the kids garden

[molonski2]

Neither thanks.

[Bklynbadboy12]

500 thousand in bills

[alice55]

None

[Chocolatetwopointthr]

i can js leave my partner🤷‍♀️

[SotiCoto]

Neither.

[talka20]

Over 5 kids

[The-Stud]

What race are the children?

[KostasKouvalis]

The debt

[lucas262]

Whats the difference?

[CaptainZeb2]

A hard pass on both

[eagle1951]

damn neither

[Exizaia]

500k in debt

[Anonymous]

Neither