Should he leave or should he stay?

[CorneliaUSA]

I have a male friend that I believe is in a toxic relationship. They've been together for three years now. In short, they briefly split up and they had a disagreement about custody over the dog. She also had an argument with his brother and tried to psychically hurt his brother. She got sour that he didn't take her side and that she didn't get the dog, and she went and falsely accused him of abuse and got him arrested, all because she couldn't get her way. He was able to disapprove her case. They were split up for 8 month and she wants him back now. He took her back. She claims she was raped in the period they were apart, but I feel like it's an manipulation technique. I'm telling him that that bitch is crazy. And up next she's going to try and trap him with pregnancy and marriage. Low and be hold, now she's hinting she wants a kid. He swears high and low that she is not that type and won't do that to him. I think he is being stupid. I told him that he is just taking her back bc she's a comfort zone and he isn't in the mood to start over with a new relationship. Which he admitted, but he also claims that she is pretty and he loves her. He's struggling with forgiving her, but holding on bc he loves her. Am I the one wrong in this situation? Should he stay with her? Should he give her another chance? Is she trying to trap him? What do you think? What would you have done?

[Finchie40]

Sadly your friend is a complete idiot and setting himself up for disaster , all you can really do is sit back and watch and pray she doesn’t destroy him too much , because unfortunately this is all his decision and there isn't really anything you can do about it , he is just going to learn the long hard way. As a friend you can give advice, but the final decision comes down to him , so if I was you, I wouldn’t waste anymore of your time and energy on his stupid decision , because he isn’t going to listen to you anyways. This girl has him wrapped and he is allowing her to write Sucker on his head. Sadly that’s how some people live and learn from their previous mistakes

[Chazmatazz269]

He should definitely get away from her, but he won’t. He has no self respect. He’s not going to get it from her or you. He needs to be around good, strong men while he figures his sh*t out. Something that should have happened when he was a boy. It’s not too late, but it is way harder to learn those lessons later in life instead of earlier.

[CorneliaUSA]

Good point. There was no father figure in his life while growing up. And he has a tendency to take on other people's burdens. Sadly I feel like he is going to learn the hard way.

[HollyK21]

You’re asking should he stay with her as if it’s ours, yours, or anyone else’s choice but his lol. If I were you I wouldn’t waste my breath advising him anymore because he already knows what/who he’s dealing with and isn’t ready to let her go. So rather than getting yourself all flustered over someone else’s decisions just focus on you and yours.

[CorneliaUSA]

I have already reached that point where I don't want to talk about his relationship anymore. Im done. I told him it's his choice and I have gave my advice many times when he asks, so it's his decision now. I still just wonder. I will support him in whatever decision he makes, but a few years from now when the relationship goes to hell, I'll give him a hug and just say "I told you so. Let's go get a drink". Once she traps him, which she will, I give it 10 years and they will get divorced and she will smother him with child support. I could be wrong. But she has a narcissistic personality and they do that.

[CorneliaUSA]

And to add, it's not my choice correct. But he is making it my problem/choice by pulling me into this and asking what he should do. But he doesn't listen anyways

[HollyK21]

Yeah, I never looked forward to the “I told you so’s”, just going for the drinks because it’s really unkind to kick someone when they’re down. We all (or at least a lot of us lol) have made stupid choices in men/women, and our friends already know that staying with the ex for as long as they did was fcking stupid. I don’t want to rub it in. Anyway I agree 100% with just not talking about his relationship anymore, I’ve had to do the exact same with a few friends of mine because it becomes too much. Of course you’d like for them to be able to vent to you, but at the same time you aren’t a wall. You’re going to have feelings and opinions about things and it’s just a slap in the face after giving so much advice only for them to stay with that person. Your friend is most likely making one of the worst decisions in his life by staying with her, but sometimes people just have to go through it and have their hearts torn apart in order to finally be done.

[HollyK21]

I hear you for sure, I just think you’re gonna have to start setting boundaries. It’ll probably upset him not being able to talk to you about her but he has to respect that you don’t want the emotional distress anymore. The worst part is, he’s putting himself through this because he’s lazy and she’s attractive. I hate to say it but if she breaks his heart he already knows he was asking for it. She’s made no kind of change she’s still the same person who hurt him before and it’s too bad he doesn’t want to acknowledge that.

[CorneliaUSA]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[AI Opinion]

Spicy situation you've got there! My aim is to spice up your relationship queries with a touch of humor and expertise. Your instincts might be right, my friend. 🚨 Red flags are waving high! Trust, honesty, and respect are key, and those are more absent here than a diet at a cake party. Love can blind us like staring into the sun, but he'd better keep all eyes open. Manipulation and toxic vibes aren't part of a healthy package deal. If he's feeling squirrelly about commitment, maybe it's time to hit pause. Priority is always his happiness. A comfort zone doesn't trump genuine love. 🌟

[dudeinohio]

He needs to get away from her before she baby traps him.

[CorneliaUSA]

And she doesn't have an IUD. She's on the pill. If he says No to having kids now, what prevents her from stop taking the pill, and lying to him and says that she IS taking it. She goes nuts when she doesn't get her way.

[dudeinohio]

Exactly. Sounds like she is a real nut case.

[Staximus]

If he gets back together with her he's an idiot

[Anonymous]

He should give her another chance.

[CorneliaUSA]

Sarcasm?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, just a little bit...