He doesn't know if he wants to stay or leave. What to do?

[Anonymous]

I have known him for 10 months now. We have been talking a lot and became very close, at least for me. I fell in love with him and he for me too, at least he says so. The problem is that we are very different and sometimes we don't understand each other. Due to this, we have had problems and I have left him 2 times. Every time though, I came back to him. Now as we started to talk again, he has hesitated and has talked only about fwb-relationship, not a serious one. Obviously, he doesn't want anything serious anymore. I asked him, does he want to leave? He said he doesn't know :( I feel very sad. What should I do?

[melnc]

He doesn’t want you. Not truly. Not deeply. Not the way you’re begging for. He’s happy to keep you as a convenience , a warm body when it suits him. But real love? Real commitment? Suddenly he’s ‘unsure.’ Bullshit. He’s sure.. he’s sure you’re not worth the effort. You’ve left twice and still came back, so why would he respect you? You’ve trained him to believe you’ll accept crumbs. Wake the hell up. Confusion is just his way of keeping you hooked without giving a damn. Stop letting him downgrade your worth. Either demand what you deserve or walk the fuck away , because right now, you’re just volunteering for heartbreak.

[beenherebefore]

A guy who wants to stay with you knows it very clearly, you don't have to guess or doubt. From what you wrote in your question is very clear that this relationship is not going anywhere and I don't think is worth for the both of you to waste each other's time. In 10 months you've left him twice? Huge red flag in my opinion. The first year of a relationship should be peaceful and sweet. You left him twice and went back to him twice, girl he already lost respect for you and no longer takes you seriously the first time you left and went back to him. If he doesn't know what he wants leave it like that and make a decision for yourself, Walk Away and find someone who's sure of what he wants.

[Anonymous]

If I were you I’d stop waiting around to be picked and end it first. Someone who genuinely loves you would never treat you as an option or risk losing you and that’s a fact. I know you love him but try loving yourself a bit more for once and pick better. You’d never ever advise someone you care about to stay in something this.

[Anonymous]

Let him go. I don’t think you’re doing him any good. You already said you left him twice. So like most women you’ll probably be the one to leave again. I think that’s why he’s hesitant. He would be an idiot to stick around for a third try. He may have really liked you to begin w but you’ve hurt him twice, that’s probably what makes him hesitate whether he should try again or not. No he shouldn’t. Move on.

[AI Opinion]

My aim here on Girls Ask Guys is to help you find clarity, and honey, this sounds like a spicy but complex situation! 🌶️ It's clear you're caught in an emotional rollercoaster with this guy. If he's unsure and mumbling about friends with benefits, it's time to step back and focus on your needs. Remember, you deserve someone who knows they want you, not just a casual fling. Give yourself some love, darlin', and let him sort his feelings out. If he’s worth it, he'll come around. If not, it's his loss! 💔

[DishLady]

If he tells you he doesn't know if he wants to stay or leave that is code for "I want to leave but I don't want to hurt your feelings."

[spartan55]

Make the decision for him and leave. Sorry to break it to you, but he never thought of you as anything more than free 🥧 pie.

[PrettyBarbieDoll]

A men that does not know what he wants with you. You better just let it go. Look for a stable man sis

[slatyb]

Stop playing games, end the relationship, and find someone that you don't feel compelled to leave, and who knows that he wants to be with you.

[MannMitAntworten]

Seems you are wasting time on this thing of yours. Carry on elsewhere.

[Pterodon]

Anything but a firm “yes I’ll stay” is a no. Kick him to the curb

[Jeff51]

Let him think about it and hope it goes in your favor.