Would it be a bad idea to have kids with my friends with benefits?

Question

I’m 28 and my friends with benefits is 34 We’ve known each other for 10 years, get along really well, and have never argued. I already have one child, and he has five. I’ve always wanted more kids but planned to wait until marriage or finding “the one” After several failed relationships, I’m starting to feel like that may not happen, and I’m aware that I don’t want to have children too late in life.

I’m considering having a child with him, knowing from the start that we’d only co-parent and not pursue a romantic relationship. He’s a good father to his kids, and I’m financially stable enough to raise the child on my own if needed. Would it be a bad idea?

Malemajor · Accepted Answer

LOL,
I’m in a similar situation—she has a child of her own who needs more attention right now, so we’re patiently waiting for him to grow up. I’ve always dreamed of having a daughter, so my advice is simple: go for it! I’m happy you’ve found stability and joy in your life.

Honestly, the concept of marriage is often overrated. It’s a social construct that, over time, has been twisted into a checklist item rather than a true symbol of love. What matters is the bond you share, not the paperwork you sign. History, spirituality, and even nature itself show us that deep connection doesn’t need a legal label—it needs trust, mutual respect, and shared purpose.

If you both want to raise a child, that’s already a sacred commitment. Parenthood is about love, guidance, and creating a safe place for a young soul to grow—not about meeting arbitrary societal timelines. Many of the rules society imposes are designed to tame both masculinity and femininity, keeping them from their full potential. But when two people come together in authenticity, they can raise a child who embodies both strength and compassion, free from outdated limitations.

Think of it as walking your own spiritual path together—one that honors the union of two souls without needing an officiant’s blessing. The universe doesn’t care about legal titles; it cares about energy, intention, and the example you set. As long as your home is filled with love, your child will flourish.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Why have a baby with someone that doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you? That’s dumb and your setting yourself up for disaster with that shit , especially if you ever want to meet a guy for a romantic connection , Having 2 kids’ with 2 different fathers’ isn’t going to make it easier for you to find a romantic partner , , you will be fine with 1 kid but having 2 kids from 2 different guys’ is going to make it harder for you to find love , because
Most guys’ today do not want to be with a girl that has kids’ period. Do you are best to have a talk with your FWB’s and and find out why the both of you can’t be in a romantic relationship together , especially after 10 years of knowing each other , or end things with your FWB’s and go find yourself a guy that wants a romantic relationship with you instead.

HollyK21 · Accepted Answer

I remember being 28 and feeling the exact same way, failed dating experiences and the hopes of meeting a genuinely good guy felt bleaker by the day. Then I met my fiancé at 30, out of the blue, ran into him twice and gave him my number the 2nd time because I felt that was too coincidental. The point of me sharing this is that you genuinely do not know what’s in store for you, so never settle just because you can’t foresee the future or you don’t think your chances will get any better. There’s so many more milestones you can create in your life than another baby and there’s still so much time to have one.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

On GAG, my aim is to give you the best relationship advice—spreading a little love and wisdom! 😉 You're looking at a decision that could really change your life, and it's great you're considering all angles. Having a kid with your friends with benefits can work if you're clear about what you both expect and if you both trust each other to co-parent effectively. Remember, kids aren't born just to our hearts; they're born into our every day, drama and all! 🤪 So, communication is the not-so-secret sauce here! Be sure it's not a lovebomb but a genuine decision you both are ready for.

AviatorTom · Answer

I you had a kid with him, you would no longer be Friends With Benefits, you'd be Parents With Benefits. It's difficult to understand how that would work.

More importantly, how would that affect the child, having to grow up with a part-time father and a single mom, learning that all their parents have in common is sex?

Remember that we have children for their sake, not for ours.

My opinion... that would be a bad idea.

DishLady · Answer

Yes it would be. What kind of environment are you setting up for your potential child? Don't be so selfish.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Every child deserves to be raised by a mother and a father who live and love together.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well you need to ask him not us. And you also need to be prepared to Raise the child on your own. Now are you ready for that

TrimmedTip · Answer

Having a child with a friends-with-benefits partner isn’t automatically “bad,” but it carries real risks you’d want to think through carefully.
Even if you both agree now to co-parent without romance, feelings, life circumstances, and priorities can change — and that could affect the child.
Raising kids across separate households can work well if there’s trust, stability, and clear communication, but it can also become complicated if disagreements arise over parenting styles, schedules, or new partners.
Since a child’s needs go beyond financial support, you’d want to be confident you and he share the same long-term values and commitment to cooperation.
If you’re seriously considering it, a very open, detailed discussion — maybe even a legal parenting agreement — would help prevent misunderstandings later.

Tigress1039 · Answer

I would refrain from doing so, because you never really know someone until you've had a relationship with them. It might well be since you've had a surface level relationship with him you don't know the extent of his flaws. So committing to a child with him is extremely risky, especially if you find something about later along the lines. But by then there's going back. What if you find out he's a domestic abuser?

NoDecision · Answer

Have you ever considered marriage so you wouldn't have some illegitimate children? Frankly, you are either barking up the wrong tree or are trolling.

Likes2drive · Answer

You’re only 28 , there’s plenty of men out there that would love to be with you romantically and live with you and raise a child together that doesn’t have any kids of his own, you’re just not looking or serious enough about it because you’re getting temporary satisfaction from someone that probably doesn’t want any more kids if he already has five and hasn’t already decided to be with you completely so it’s not a good idea and you obviously need to ask him what he really wants

Staximus · Answer

You don't need another kid, you just want another kid. You have already chosen the father of your first child poorly who is no longer with you, and you are going to choose poorly again with a man who will not commit to you. A child needs a father and a mother in their life. Learn how to pick better men first.

sean1234 · Answer

Yes, very bad idea. Only Husbands and Wives TOGETGER should be having kids. No God? No commitment, sounds like no relationship, no parents for wanting kids and No life.

I highly suggest to read your Bible. I recommend the Kjv bible.

Anonymous · Answer

That's a great way to virtually guarantee the child you have with him will not have a stable relationship with his father, which is a horrible thing to do to a child. It's a selfish choice on your part.

Either marry the guy or don't have a kid with him.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

You should give that kid a life with a mother, father and sibling all living under one roof. A kid deserves that much. Anything else is a compromise at best.

Zylos · Answer

I think there's something fundamentally wrong with giving up on other guys in favor of some dude who already has four kids and a fuck buddy. This shit is why guys say women only want 20% of men.

fantasticass · Answer

Yup, don't have a child with him. He will find another friends with benefits and you lose him. Guarantee.

jazzy34 · Answer

Yes, it would be. You're not even in a relationship with this person. Bad things happen when do things out of desperation.

Caroline91 · Answer

Why would you do that to a child on purpose? Ideally, children are brought up in a family that includes a mommy and a daddy, not two people who were just friendly sex buddies.

Cormac995 · Answer

That is one of the worst idea's I've ever heard.

avery58 · Answer

Hell no it wouldn't. Also, is he aware that you want to get pregnant?

DryGermanGuy · Answer

„We‘re going to play a wonderful game, called  Who is my daddy and what does he do ?“ - Det. John Kimble, Kindergarten Cop

Anonymous · Answer

that is the dumbest and quickest way to become a single mom (again). and also have your kid grow up with so many issues socially and wondering how relationships work or how to treat someone romantically.

Alex-Snow · Answer

What does he think about it? Have you discussed marriage? Do you live together?

Berethor · Answer

Well you are already a single mom, so what the worse that could happen to you?

Nikki1989 · Answer

I hope you are not serious. What a disastrous idea!

beenherebefore · Answer

Terrible idea! Is this the example of how a family should be you want to set for your kids?

slatyb · Answer

He would be financially liable no matter what you agreed.

foxsquirrell · Answer

Does not sound like a good idea to me. Having a child with him would change the whole dynamic of the situation. It will not be exactly the same anymore I think.

exitseven · Answer

It is a terrible idea. Kids are not like having a pet.

glennos89 · Answer

Is that a healthy relationship for the kids to grow up in?

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Yes. Think about explaining to your kids why they don’t have a Dad

Anonymous · Answer

Must be nice to have friends with benefits. I wouldn't do it because life has uncertainties and no job is secure no matter the circumstances in todays world.

jahaims · Answer

You should never reproduce if you are asking this...

Anonymous · Answer

Bad idea to have kids with someone you don’t have a real relationship with

Leanne2406 · Answer

If you both enjoy life that way and the children are happy I say, go for it but always be honest about what’s happening outside xx

Anonymous · Answer

not only would it be stupid friends with benefits, is a bad idea in general it's for pathetic losers with no lives

WhitneySnow · Answer

You better ask him first

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

yes. Are you retarded?

Abdulw · Answer

Take your vows then get married

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Well have you talked to him about it?

MasterKS · Answer

wasting your womb!

Pterodon · Answer

Very bad

Anonymous · Answer

Very bad idea

Would it be a bad idea to have kids with my friends with benefits?

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