My friends boyfriend told her that he was falsely accused of sa?

[butterly248]

TW - abuse and assault

My friend has been seeing this guy for a while now. He seems nice and all. He doesn't seem like the person who would hurt anyone. But he's maybe gaslighting her, criticising her appearance and that. Maybe he isn't aware of what he's saying.

She called me today, crying, saying that she was maybe pregnant. She is happy ofc, but now is obviously worried.

Her boyfriend only told her when she said that she might be pregnant, because he said that she may not be able to handle it. And she said she was maybe pregnant and the future mother of your child deserves to know.

4 years ago, he was falsely accused of sexual assault. And that at the start of the year, it is the CPS. The Crown Prosecution Service is here in the UK.

I have no idea how to reply to this because I'm still shocked typing this. We both have been through so much. Leaving our ex-partners, fleeing abuse.

I'm worried she may have just found another abuser. She's in sheltered accommodation so she can maybe talk to her counsellor, but I understand she is scared and I don't know how to help her

[ohsheeT]

This is hard for both. I mean if he's a nice guy and she thinks believe him until he proves otherwise he's not believable

My brother.
Called me up one night.
And told me his daughter was raped by. This guy we both know. And my brother was fit to be tied. I told him to settle down

Let me find out what's going on? You guys something doesn't seem right? Because this guy is not that way. And the more we talk about it
The more pissed off I got

I told my brother. Just let me answer it. Because I was gonna go over that moved and I was going to f*** him up. I mean in a very bad way

And as I'm preplanning this premeditated. I'm running my brother's words through my head. Yeah, and something is off. Something just does not seem right.

So I talked to my my brother's daughter's mother she told me what she said.
And something still didn't seem right. So i told my brother.
And his daughter's mother did. I want to talk to her

Because I needed to find out the truth. Something was not right.

And I know she would not lie to me, my nephews and nieces, and I are very, very tight. I took care of them for a long on the weekends , as they were growing up , and they never , ever liked me

Anyway I called her and I started talking with her

At first she told me the same story my brother did and her mother told me

And I kept telling her something's awesome. You kind of keep changing your story a little bit by little bit

I said you don't understand how serious this is. You don't understand what I feel and what I want to go to the guy. And I said you have to understand I like him I don't think that he would do this but i'm going to put him into the hospital three times

And I need to know from justifier. She finally told me the truth. It wasn't him it was his son

She didn't want to get the boy in trouble, but she was going to get the boy's father and trouble. It did not make sense to me. Your boyfriend could be falsely accused who knows

But it's something that you both have to communicate about. Or they have to communicate about me. And the best part about any relationship is being honest. The first time you lie in a relationship is the start of the finish

[Anonymous]

People behave in relation to their partner

Not sure if you mean sexual assault?

It's unlikely he will sexually assault the mother of his child?

My main point though is people deserve a second chance whether he didn't do it, whether he did do it.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for the Most Helpful

But question, why is she in sheltered accommodation?

[Agape93]

I err on the side of believing victims. But typically if someone falsely accused you of a crime, you will defend yourself and after a while, stop discussing it so people don't start associating your name with that potential issue. If he just brings it up, he's probably heading off a future issue if she found out on her own. That's what my ex did before, said his ex was crazy and accused him of raping her and domestic abuse. Guess what? He is a domestic abuser, and is a rapist.

[Nikki1989]

When someone is accused of abuse, there is almost always some truth to it. False reports are very rare.

[Still-alive]

Welp all you can really do is make your concerns known to her but ultimately she has to be the one to make any decisions on whether to stay or leave.

like it sounds a little fishy but i feel more info is needed before i conclude 'yeah leave him'.

all i can say is if her gut is telling her to leave she should probably listen to it.

[Anonymous]

The main thing is how he treats her? Whether or not he was abusive in past relationships is not the thing that you should worry about litigating. Is he abusive towards her or does he have any red flags of future abusive tendencies?

[WhitneySnow]

She should talk to a therapist right away