The art of saying no. How easy is it for you to say no to unpleasant people or situations? And what is the reaction from others when you do this?

[thegreenyogi]

[BriamG22]

If you mean like in a friend group or with friends of friends who I just ended up disliking, Its pretty easy I would say. I guess the reaction is usually just indifferenc because I do it quite often and I guess it goes beyond just saying in many cases.

With close friends I struggle a lot because they're like family.

At work is where I guess most people struggle, I guess if a director comes asking me to prepare something; even though I want to strangle the guy, can't really say no. If some dickhead around the level of seniority asks me, that's a heeeelllll no.

I don't even know if I answered the question lol.

[thegreenyogi]

You have answered the question correctly!!

[BriamG22]

I just noticed how many typos I made haha, the one time I didn't proof read. Anyways thanks for the question, it had me reflecting on myself for a bit! Was a fun one.

[thegreenyogi]

You're very welcome!! The purpose of my questions is to get people to think so I'm glad it had that effect on you !!

[BriamG22]

Thanks MHO

[thegreenyogi]

Welcome!

[Zack-Bann]

I’m good at avoid peer pressure in a sense that no one can talk me into doing things I don’t wanna do just because everyone else is


I can say no


But I am bad at saying not to certain things that I end up doing for someone else’s benefit at the cost of my own


Meaning if I wanted to go to the beach and my friends wanted to go to the mountains they could talk me into saying yes to them


I technically like both beach and mountain but chances are I won’t insist on what I prefer in the moments

[AI Opinion]

On Girls Ask Guys, my aim is to help you navigate the complex world of relationships with a little flair and fun! Now, saying "no" can be tricky, especially to those pushy folks or sticky situations. But trust me, it's crucial to maintain your peace. It's like swatting away a lovebombing mosquito—necessary but sometimes startling. Reactions can be mixed: surprise, relief, or sometimes a good old ghosting! Just remember, standing your ground is a green flag of self-care, and who can say no to that? 😉

[HawkPerception]

I find it really hard to say no. Almost usually impossible for me. I've been trying to hold myself back for a while to no avail. I feel if I say no, it's kind of rude a lot of the time.

[OneViewpoint]

The "ART" of saying no? It's not an art in my mind. It's about establishing standards for yourself and boundaries for others then having the spine to enforce them.

NO is one of my favorite words. NO teaches people lessons and helps them understand limits. NO keeps needy parasites from wasting my life. NO is a slap upside the head to entitlement. NO is a refusal to be a doormat. NO weeds out the assholes who storm off in righteous indignation.

I never feel bad or uncomfortable saying no to anyone about anything.

Case in point. I was out last night and ended up flying solo as none of my usual coconspirators showed up. A husband and wife in a town of entitled trust fund babies showed up at peak hour. He asks me to move over so he and his wife can have 2 adjacent seats. I didn't even look up and said the magic word, NO. He starts in with "why are you being a jerk". Uh oh. It went something like this from that point.

Me: I look at him and say, "give me the key fob for your car and I'd like to fuck your wife".

Him: The guy was utterly rattled. I could see his brain processing that for about 5 seconds. "You're an asshole, I'm not doing that."

Me: Why?

Him: Because that's my car and my wife

Me: So what? I want them.

Him: You're insane

Me: Oh, I'm insane? You walk in here at peak happy hour and think you are entitled to my seat because that would be convenient for you. I thought you had established the rules of engagement. If we want something someone else has we can simply demand it and expect them to hand it over. I got here early and chose the seat I wanted. Maybe you and your wife should show up earlier next time. Now fuck off.

And he took the walk of shame. I love the word NO.

[thegreenyogi]

Lol!! This was a funny story. You made me laugh at the end of a very challenging day. No has such great power!

[thegreenyogi]

I have to say you seem like a really fun person to be around.

[OneViewpoint]

My ability to say "NO" is a standing joke among my friends. One of them keeps asking me. "OK, I know you'll do that to a guy, but you wouldn't say no to a beautiful woman would you?" Then I do it and he's just incredulous while the rest are cracking up because they've seen me do it all the time. A person's sense of entitlement in no way obligates me to oblige their demands. Frankly, I love watching them squirm. And a lot of women have seldom or never been challenged by a man like that. I think I confuse the hell out of them because I don't behave the way they expect me to.

[thegreenyogi]

So in this case I'm beginning to understand that you will only say yes to a woman who is beautiful but humble or in other words has no sense of entitlement about her?

It must be very entertaining to watch entitled women squirm.

[Screenwriter]

It's not an art, but a necessity. There are only so many hours in the day and everyone has to consider their own needs first.

You have to say "No," to people who are trying to use you. You have to say "No," when you're overtired. You have to say "No," when the request isn't something you enjoy doing and isn't giving you something you need. (such as joy in doing it)

This covers too much overtime, being harangued to volunteer too often and too much (another kind of overtime); being asked to babysit friends,' neighbors 'or relatives' children (cats of dogs) when you need time to yourself.

Say "No" whenever you feel you're being "guilted" into doing something. (such as the extra baby, dog or cat sitting, or volunteering). Whenever someone says "You know we need to go to this concert," or "We never take a vacation. Come on and help us," or "We're so short of volunteers, I don't know how we're going to do this without your help."

Learn to say, "Well, I can't help you." Simply and straightforwardly.

If you hear, "But you're single! You don't have any plans or obligations! You said so." Repeat yourself. "I have to take care of myself. I said no, and I mean it. If you don't understand this, then don't ask me to (babysit, volunteer, work overtime) in the future."

"No," doesn't mean "Never." It means, "Not right now, and not in this case." But as you read previously, you may have to put up a hard and fast wall with people who don't respect your free time.

That's the bottom line. It is YOUR time. It belongs to no one else. Make sure those around you know this.

[Screenwriter]

And, lastly, it doesn't matter what their reaction is. Some people will say you're selfish. Smile and say, "I'm selfish when I need to be, and that's right now. Good luck with getting your needs met."

People who are always asking YOU to help them are poor planners, and are usually disorganized. It's not your job to take up their slack. Develop a tough skin about these kinds of impositions, because that's what they are, IMPOSITIONS. Not your job.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I know my boundaries well, I had a manager who was kinda shitty. He hated confrontation and knew asking women to do things was easier than asking men because women would more often say “yes” to his requests to work an extra hour because he “needed” them, even though the schedule was set for a specific time for a reason. A lot of women did reluctantly say yes, if only because they felt bad for leaving when they were needed (it was food service so rush time was based on certain hours of the day). He asked me to only one time because that one time I said a very clear “No, I can’t stay late.” He knew he couldn’t legally ask why, so he didn’t and never asked me to do it again. He got fired eventually. Good riddance.

[rachel776]

oh i just say it in a friendly voice, “no thank you,” like you couldn't possibly have expected me to say yes, and that sort of ends it. the more you try to hem and haw around it, the more they will try to make it difficult for you

[FreyaRed]

I'm convincing with arguments why I'm not the person they look for. The art to say no is to be credible and to avoid hurting egos of people think they can control your perception. Asking question is a good strategy, because who asks has the control and it's mostly about who has the control.

[jazzy34]

Saying no is fairly easy for me... except with my mother. She requires an explanation as to why I'll say no. She doesn't understand that no is a complete sentence. She's gotten mad at me a lot of times for that. Anyway, with anyone else, no problem.

[Spencer10]

Its quite easy. The key word in this question is unpleasant. Its easy for me to say no to people I have low regard for... same for situations. Their reaction is of little concern to me generally. I think you can judge a lot about a person from who their enemies are.

[MrOracle]

I have absolutely no problem saying no. I'm a business owner. If I couldn't tell people "no", I'd have been out of business a very long time ago.

[beenherebefore]

Nowadays is fairly easy but in the past I used to be taken advantage off for not being able to establish boundaries. I think people respect me more now that I'm able to say No with no fears.

[genericname85]

i think i have a pretty high tolerance but when i'm setting boundaries i'll be factual and non offensive about it. i typically try NVC or some adaption of it, that is very effective in not escalating things.

[just_a_potato]

I'm really, really bad at it. It's a work in progress right now, learning to be more assertive lol

[mysteriousNicholas]

@just_a_potato no harrass, just a life lesson from an experienced owl: 🦉 it won't make one a happier or even more stronger person : it'll only lead to others thinking lesser or that one is high and mighty or full of themselves, speaking from my wisdom: the better 'advice is" to keep being yourself, rather than being a worse self. I feel. 😅 And besides, people are like dogs - they can sniff honesty a mile/a kilometre away 😶 I think humans often don't appreciate other humans, can read minds, to a degree. Lol peace. Peace out. And yes, I don't mind at all a block, I wasn't going to message anything further or comment anything further after this - just trying to be a helpful wiser owl with a wisdom for the road 🛣️ 🦉 that you can take that wisdom or ignore it, yet anyways - the day goes on, have a nice day ✌️😁

[Phoenix98]

I typically try to be cordial even when dealing with unpleasant people or situations but I have no issue saying no or being the asshole that I kind of am throwing that unpleasantness back.

[DryGermanGuy]

I go with my inner Homer: :-D

[AgentG111]

Two answers from me.

Personally it's been one of the best words to be able to say and helped protect my heart and emotions along with my wallet at times!

Professionally it's led to very intense situations.

[DocT1977]

It's very easy for me. If what someone else has going on doesn't interest me, then no, I am out. Just that simple.

[Itsok2behapp-e]

It's not an art. It's two letters.

One recent scenario at work

[chrissykerdock]

i didn't always say no when i shoul've but is done is done

[Shiprex]

It has been difficult in the past as I put other's convenience ahead if my own. Less so now but I strive to please too much.

[Nikki1989]

I find it much easier to say no than it is to say yes for most people I know.

[mysteriousNicholas]

@thegreenyogi you know me, wiser yogi. It's always better to be one's self.

[Agape93]

Very easy, and it ranges from surprise to anger.

[Stefan04]

Really easy depending on who it is and the situation. Sometimes you have to word the rejection a certain way so it doesn’t appear as a insult or a challenge.

[msc545]

I can say no very easily but I make it a point to say it nicely and kindly. That makes it go over a lot better and both the person I'm saying no to and I feel better.

[MannMitAntworten]

Seems to come naturally to me to say no … anything else necessary.

[douride2]

I have no issue with saying no to unpleasant people.

[ilistengood]

It would depend on what im saying no to. As for saying no to

[Xawyx-2]

It used to be difficult when I was younger, but now it's much easier.

[LiamJHayden]

I have no issue saying "No." and unless the other person reacts violently I do care.

[whiskeyontherocks]

Depends on the situation but I’m still learning it’s ok to say no

[noohair]

I grew up in NYC, it is easy for me to say no or get the fu@k away from me…

[exitseven]

I say not a lot. Sometimes I say Hell No

[Bloodparadise]

I try and explain my stance

[WhitneySnow]

Pretty easy

[WhitneySnow]

@alex67890 so people can’t see their panties if the dress flips up

[dustybiker2]

Very easy.