Do most men hit their children?

[Anonymous]

That's what my mother and maternal grandma used to tell me for many years (she said it's common and natural for men to correct their children physically whether it's a stick, a paddle, a belt... they're men afterall while we women are always gentle) until I've stumbled with a European classmate (blonde girl) during my HS years. She was in total shock with the hitting kids culture and claimed neither of her parents ever hit her. I was jealous of her upbringing and years wished to find a man that doesn't believe in hitting kids. Are they rare to find?

But honestly, are most men into hitting kids? I don't like that culture and wish to find my male counterpart that's against that.

Updates

2 mo

My mom and maternal grandma's repeatedly saying were always "all men are the same, they're men afterall, they're never gentle with kids as women are by nature". They ever made me feel bitter towards them growing up.

[Finchie40]

No, I don’t hit my kids’ but my ex use
To hit them , when she had a break down or she upset about something they did. I would yell at her end pull her away when she started hitting the kids’ and told her to calm the fuck down. I grew up with an abusive father, so I swore to myself that I will never be that kind of father to my kids whatsoever The only time I will put my hands on my kid, is to restrain them from being out of control like their mother. My son has a lot of anger issues like his Mom does and I made him go to anger management classes , and I told my ex she needs to go as well

[Anonymous]

No, but the majority of mothers do. Your mother's and grandmother's beliefs about fathers are ironic considering it's actually women, not men, who do what they said men do.

"Overall, 57% of mothers and 40% of fathers engaged in spanking when children were age 3, and 52% of mothers and 33% of fathers engaged in spanking at age 5."

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3813398/

[Asker]

Thank you for the article. My guess is since the mother generally stays with the child for much longer periods of time than the father that's working, she's building up stress and takes it out on the poor kid.

[Opinion Owner]

The reason why mothers hit their children more than fathers is kind of irrelevant to your question, and to your mother's and grandmother's false claims.

[ShellyB]

I have no idea the real percent who spank children, which I think is what you are talking about, I would guess probably under half but I could be wrong. Saying “hit children” usually means something else, unless someone is making a point that they don’t agree with spanking children. It is technically a form of hitting but it is done a certain way to avoid injury. JMO!

[emeraldsaphire]

If my husband ever hit our kids I'd leave. I'd never be with a man who'd endorse such behavior. We are both on the same page on this and he says he''s never known a man who thought it was ok to hit kids.

It might be different in some placed, but where I live you don't hit children.

[Asker]

Thank you. I sadly was raised wrong with bad examples. To find out you've been led to believe something for so many years and it's proven false it's like being in for a ride awakening. I was nearly in tears when that classmate told me about neither of her parents ever hitting her.

[emeraldsaphire]

I'm sorry to hear that, It really sucks when you have that realization

[Anonymous]

As someone who was physically abused getting whipped with belts and had a mother who justified those psychotic actions i don't believe in ever hitting a child not ever nor do i believe in yelling or arguing with a child

I'll give you a sick example there's a 40 year old woman who i know who argued with her 11 year old/12 year old daughter telling her to get out of her face that she was in her face bothering her since 7am i sat there in shock completely mortified by what i saw. I told her who's the adult who's supposed to be the mature one? Then why are you arguing with an 11 year old/12 year old
On the flip side I've seen a 33 year old blond mother who doesn't discipline her bastard 11 year old son at all she lets him get away with murder the kid is a real punk ass prick who needs to be smacked and disciplined hard and mind you i don't believe in being physically abusive ever but that kid is a menace
It's all about good parenting vs bad parenting from what I've seen

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear you had horrible parents. Some people don't deserve kids and it would be great if doctors were to perform a lengthy, psychological assessment, stress exam, parenting test, (even secretly test them) etc to both parents and release the newborn baby only if they pass so that way only suitable parents get to return home with the baby and raise him/her.
Both of the examples you provided are extremes. Striking a kid with a belt or yelling at him/her is abusive parenting. Standing there and letting a kid do whatever they want, doing nothing at all (not even a verbal reprimand, informing them of the consequences) is actually bring a neglectful, permissive parent.

[Spencer10]

Any man that has to resort to physical violence unless as a very last resort to protect life is not a real man.

[Asker]

Exactly. I hate men as immediate, first resort and it's not even in self-defense.

[Asker]

Those that hit as immediate, first resort

[WindAtMyBack]

When I grew up, both mothers and fathers spanked their children. So did teachers and principals at school. As long as they don't cross the line between spanking and outright abuse, I don't see anything wrong with it.

I don't know where your mother and grand mother get the idea that this is only men. That's just not true, at least not in my culture. If this was somehow inherent in being men, as they imply, it would be true in any culture.

[Anonymous]

It's an old school way of thinking. My parents did some physical punishments to me, but I wouldn't ever with my own children.

[Anonymous]

My father never hit me or my brother, but my mother did. A lot.

[Asker]

You both are very lucky to have a great father

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, we were. But I also know plenty of others who have great parents. I don't know why some people feel the need to paint all mothers and/or fathers as bad parents. Can we just stop that, please? You realize it's harmful, right?

[jahaims]

Globally probably. In America it's not nearly as common as it used to be to spank/hit. Most of my friends have at least one kid and they don't spank.

[Anonymous]

No they don’t.

[Anonymous]

Only if she's over 21 and likes it. :-D

[In_Trance]

No..