What is a single memory from your childhood that you believe fundamentally shaped your expectations of love?

[HawkPerception]

[Bolt1104]

For me, it wasn’t a dramatic moment it was something simple from childhood. I remember watching how the people I loved treated each other with patience, kindness, and consistency. Seeing adults show love through small actions checking on each other, cooking for each other, listening when someone was tired taught me that real love isn’t loud or flashy. It’s steady.

That memory shaped what I expect from love today: not perfection, but someone who shows up, communicates, and makes you feel safe being yourself. It taught me that love is felt most in the everyday moments, not the big ones.

[Vesuvius87]

My parents never had a peaceful, loving marriage. They really thought that taking me out on trips and giving me lots of material things covers it up and I would magically forget it. Nope, emotional stability and integrity is what really matters, not gifts nor vacations, nor a big house. It was full of arguments and physical fights. I learned that it's never acceptable to have domestic violence in a marriage and I've developed a zero tolerance policy towards it. If my husband ever hits me, that's an immediate red card; aka one strike and you're out.

[Vesuvius87]

Getting insulted or hit in your marriage isn't love. For me no amount of money or taking me out on vacation would change my mind about filing assault charges and divorce if I ever get hit.

[Zack-Bann]

I never saw “romance”
My parents were, and still are, married but they never kiss or hug or say any words of endearment.


I think it made me a cold and rigid lover who can’t easily open up


But I’m too old now to blame who I am on my childhood


I’ve had enough time to rectify the situation


And I think I succeeded

[HawkPerception]

Appreciate you sharing man

[whiskeyontherocks]

I was about 7 or 8 best advice wasWhen my mom was teaching me how to sew a patch in my pants she said
“You’re going to have to learn to cook clean sew and do everything for yourself,
Because no one’s going to love you”.

[DishLady]

It's not a single memory in the sense of it being one person or one moment. But a family reunion I attended and everyone was happy and well matched. I remember thinking... "I want that when I'm old." (I was 5-ish, so "old" was my mom's age and she was ~29.)

[HawkPerception]

Sounds wholesome to me. I'm the same way. Most of my family has had successful and lasting marriages, and we're a tight-knit family who have massive family reunions every 5-10 years ish, with family coming from all around the world.

[RandomGirl42]

I don't believe there was any one defining moment it was just the love I felt around me growing up. I know I am one of the fortunate few who had a very good childhood. It was not all rainbows and unicorns but my parents are still happily married and we have a very close family. 💗

So, I expect love to be everything u see in Disney films. 🤣

[LuciusTheOdd]

I learned some relatively extreme stoicism from my father, “suffer in silence” has Progressively became a truer and truer motto for me, so I kinda have this sense of duty to be an atlas like figure, and until I support my loved ones from anything I just don’t think I can consider myself a good partner.

[On_cloud_wine]

People cheat and divorce or feel the need to get even

[exitseven]

I watched how unhappy my parents were so i figured that relationships are not all they are cracked up to be,

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I was under the impression that marriage was not a choice, but divorce was. I used to comfort myself by saying I can always get a divorce after I get married.

[ABC1x1x]

There was no love. I had no mother. She bailed before my little sister was even done breast feeding. Love is gay. I dint need thay shit

[beenherebefore]

When my brother was born.

[HawkPerception]

And how did that affect you?

[beenherebefore]

I’m convinced that some of my insecurities and anxious attachment started since then such as abandonment issues or feeling of betrayal.

[HawkPerception]

Thanks for sharing. Very interesting that it affected you that way

[TonyMetal___86]

I don't expect to be always loved by the ones whom i love...