I miss her company after I started no contact?

[Anonymous]

This younger colleague was totally nice to me and she looked pretty attracted.

She proposed to meet for lunch break, etc.

However, she flaked on two dates, so I decided I don't care and I started to talk to her only professionally.

I didn't realize how difficult it would have been: I have lost her friendship, but she doesn't seem bothered.

She was initially nice to me, then she got cold.

Looks like I lost a friend but I didn't get a lover.

[Bolt1104]

It makes sense that you miss her company you didn’t just cut off a romantic possibility, you also lost a friendship and a routine connection. Even when things don’t work out romantically, the emotional bond can still linger. So there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling that.

But it’s also important to understand that when someone flakes on you multiple times, they’re showing you their level of interest. She might have enjoyed the attention or the idea of being friendly with you, but she clearly wasn’t ready or serious about building something more. So when you pulled back and went professional, she simply matched your energy. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t care at all it just means the connection wasn’t as deep for her as it was for you.

It’s disappointing to feel like you lost both a potential partner and a friend, but sometimes stepping away protects your dignity and saves you from a one-sided situation. You didn’t do anything wrong. You respected yourself by choosing not to chase someone who wasn’t reciprocating. And yeah, it hurts because losing a connection always does but it’s better than staying in something imbalance where you’d always be the one putting in the effort.

[Asker]

Thank you for this opinion, it really helped

[jennifer_bloom]

I learned sometimes if you push your luck, you might lose what you already have, this is why many people search for signals and invitations for romance before they launch a pursuit of a person in a romantic way.

[bddddd]

Who dares wins.

[bddddd]

I don't mind no contact as a defensive tool. That is, if you need to time to work on making yourself strong and happy.

I never really understood trying to manipulate women into a relationship, using no contact or otherwise. It seems like a low probability play. But EVEN if you do start a relationship that way, then what? Your relationship started with a lie. Yes it may be possible to overcome that, but you are starting from a pretty terrible position from which to build love

[Asker]

Yes, but I cannot be always there for her. It's not nice to wait for her to say no at latest.
It's not manipulation, it's self defense, as you write. But it's difficult, because she was really friendly

[bddddd]

Friendship may be salvageable. She may just feel slightly awkward about the dating situation not happening.

[Asker]

Yes, but if she treats me this way she's not a real friend anyway.

[Anonymous]

I think Love doctor Brad explained it quite well.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the classic push and pull dance! 💃 So, when she flaked on those dates, that was a bit of a red flag waving around saying, “Careful!” It’s her loss though because you’re clearly quite a catch. Sometimes people get cold feet or mixed signals are at play. Focus on maintaining a professional atmosphere and who knows, she might come around, or you might just find someone who's all in. Keep shining, and remember, your vibe attracts your tribe! 🌟

[In_Trance]

Don't try to fuck your coworkers