Where do you draw the line between a close, friendly work colleague and an inappropriate "work spouse"?

[HawkPerception]

[AviatorTom]

If you are meeting each other, outside work, for some hanky-panky, you are crossing the line.

One of the first jobs I had, after college, was working in an engineering office. One of the secretaries, Jan, a very attractive married 20-something woman, often went to lunch with a married 30-something engineer, Frank. They rarely went to lunch, instead having sex in Frank's pickup out in the parking lot. Everyone knew what was going on, including Jan's husband, who also worked at the company, spending most of his time in the field, but it didn't stop them.

[ManOnFire]

I've seen that madness too, Tom. I remember having a manager once who bragged to me about how he would smash another lady at work in his car on break all the time, and she too was married.

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for MHO

[ManOnFire]

So I'm not entirely sure what you mean without more details, but if you mean this person is really married then I would definitely draw the line altogether. As for them being inappropriate, are they being that way with you or other men? The good ol' "work wife" is a common thing, but always keep a certain distance.

[Noredcarpet]

How the talk, chemistry is, body language. I've been someones work wife and had work hubbies but there was never no flirting going on. They team you up too because they know you are going to compliment one another. There were times I knew my work hubby was not thinking he crossed a boundary when I had to think for him lol from his partners perspective what this could too look like and change his action. I would always be sure to introduce myself early to his partner and pretty much have her in the back of my head to guide me meaning for instance you keep private and professional hours apart, you do not reach out to him in ways that is playing with fire, would make her feel unease. There were incidents when I realized I had access to him in ways she didn't and I would explain why, it was work related, we had to get hold of each other fast and could not risk getting caught in the web. But yeah on a total you keep it friendly but not flirtatious and still professional and you throw in some meaning well boundaries for everyones concern.

[HawkPerception]

I genuinely hate that term... "Work hubby/husband". I find it disrespectful to call them that when you have a partner. I'm not saying it didn't work for you. Just for me... if my partner ever used that term, I'd say don't.

[Noredcarpet]

Im sorry you feel that way, sometimes words, labels mean different things to us, causing a trigger, I know I have mine even if I won't say the word lol is not one of them :) Good you told me, I will try to use a different term so I don't risk offending someone else, it wasn't my intention.

[HawkPerception]

Not saying you offended me as you're not my partner lol. I'm just saying if it was my partner that ever used that term, it would annoy the hell out of me.

[Noredcarpet]

I see, all good. My partner has used it too but we both look at the term in the same way so no trouble there. One of my male close work colleague would joke saying something in the line with his wife was on him at home for something he hadn't done and I was on him at work, he had no place to hide.

[queenofcardio]

Hanging out with affer work.. Sharing a lot of personal information. Playful touch.

Sometimes its hard to establish boundaries with coworkers.

[Phoenix98]

If your a woman and I work with you your only ever going to be one thing in my mind a coworker nothing more and nothing less. And you will be kept at arms length at all times. Because I am not risking losing my job of 6 years and I defiantly not going to risk getting slapped with another false claim and almost having my life destroyed (again)