If your husband has to set boundaries between him and female co worker does it mean he's attracted to her?

[Akam93]

Updates

+1 y

I will also mention she is also married.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

Not necessarily. It could mean she is attracted to him. Hanging around him, laughing and giggling, putting her hand on his arm or shoulder, asking dumb questions on the regular to have an excuse to see him, etc. At face value, I have tremendous respect for him doing that and informing you of it. It is difficult for a guy to turn down advances because of how they are wired (i. e. procreate as much as possible).

With her being married, I'd say if he finds it necessary to set boundaries, she is probably being very forward. Oftentimes, marriage gives the facade of being unavailable, and some people use that (likely subconsciously) to take advantage and push farther than they can as an available, single person. A young, pretty, single woman is more suspect than an older, married woman, so the married woman can actually get away with a lot more in the flirtation department than the single one, before it is noticed. And then she will usually write it off to him reading into things or her feeling they are both married so it's nothing. Hence, affairs.

If she has set her sights on him, she won't easily give up. He may want to report her to HR, ask to be moved to another dept., etc. If he coldly tells her he will report her to HR if she continues X behavior, it could put her on guard enough to leave him alone. The thing he needs to watch out for is the "hurt and crying" act. He will need to not attempt to comfort her, and it will probably go against his nature. But he must be cold and refuse to engage emotionally, regardless of how vulnerable she pretends to be. He can be cold and unfeeling in this area and he is right to be so.

[sheenagwapa]

it means he is being a good husband

[PizzaDaddyo]

There must be a reason. Watch out! I smell attraction. Why set a boundary? Why would he tell you? Did he come up with this boundary “on the fly” in conversation or pre meditatited?


Take a step back and breath.


Cold hard truth:


You’re in the neutral zone. Tie game but, you have the ball (In this case his 2)!


She is attractive. Your man doesn’t want trouble; boundaries. In his perfect world, he would have you both. Your man may or may not have real motives towards this woman. And this woman may have motives too. Either way he’s attempting to show you an effort that he’s trying to stay away.


Basically if your man is already extremely trustworthy and never showed signs of flirting/cheating like behavior than panicking and press him about this will stress him out and may up the chances of him stepping out of bounds. Reward him with better sex/ intimacy to keep him in you bounds. Hope for the best tho and stay positive will only do you good.

[Lionman95]

No it means that he makes preparation to not come in situations that lead to attraction being developed. I´m just not sure why he tells you that. Him setting boundaries with female colleagues doesn´t look like a problem to me since there could be work related argument that make him set those boundaries. Like the two of them having to share an office that is distanced from other people or there are other situations where the two of them meet regularly when no one else is around.

It could therefore be a way of making clear to her that he has no interest in her.

[Lionman95]

Thanks for the MHO

[AI Opinion]

Not necessarily, sunshine! Setting boundaries is like putting up a fence around your garden; it's more about keeping the flowers safe than it being about the neighbor's cat being too cute. It shows maturity and a commitment to protecting the relationship. He's making sure that things stay professional and that your bond remains as sparkling as a diamond. It's less about attraction and more about prevention - like wearing a lifejacket before you've even spotted the water. Look at it as a good sign! He's guarding the treasure chest of your love, ensuring no pirates come too close. Keep the communication lines open, and remember, it's all about trust and respect. 😊💖

[coachTanthony]

Most likely he is attracted to her and she won't be the last person he will be attracted too. It's nature to be attracted to other people but we CHOOSE to shut that attraction down or not. Boundaries are good ways to do that.

[RavVid]

It might be a few things. With MeTo a lot of men might have concern for false accusations particularly if she is attractive.

She might be flirtatious towards him which feeds into the first point. If he has to set boundaries then it sounds like she is flirtatious.

It could be he feels attracted and s setting his boundaries.

I don't think you should be concerned. In truth we will all meet attractive people and feel desire. Setting and reinforcing boundaries is part of the process of creating a stable relationship. Your husband s doing this so be glad of it.

You could have and still can ask how the boundary setting is going and how flirty this woman is.

[HawkPerception]

Not necessarily. It could just mean that SHE is coming off too strong and he wants to draw a line between them to make it very clear he's taken and not interested.

However, it could mean that he's attracted to her and trying to prevent himself from making a mistake.

For most respectful and faithful men, the former is likely the reason.

[Chazmatazz269]

Of course not. Men set boundaries with other men all the time. Does that leave you with the impression that men want to f*ck everyone they meet? If a man puts a leash on a dog, is it because he’s afraid he’ll f*ck it if it gets too close to him?
All intelligent, self respecting human beings set boundaries. It’s the normal, healthy way to interact with others. Only a mentally ill individual would twist the healthier behavior to make it appear like deviant behavior.

[bolverk]

If you husband is setting boundaries at work with female co-worker then it is the co-worker who is overstepping and doubt if your husband is attracted to her,

If your husband has any sense he goes to HR and tells them what's going on as the sexual harassment door swings both ways, and he should keep a record of what she does, date, time, etc either in a diary or carry a voice recorder when at work.

[CaptainOverthink]

Maybe, maybe not.
But attraction happens all the time. Can't be controlled and is nobodys fault. That he sets boundries is good sign, it means he has his principles straight and working to maintain them.

[blueonblack22]

He’s removing any chance of temptation or even perception of inappropriate behavior. He’s sounds like a responsible man and is doing the right thing.

[DishLady]

Maybe, or it’s that she’s attracted to him and he’s setting a respectful boundary. Either way he’s doing the right thing.

[avery58]

It might just be the coworker who is getting to "friendly" or something and he feels uncomfortable by her behavior

[Anonymous]

So he told you he had to set boundaries? OK, so my take is he was honest to you upfront about a situation. It does sound like she might be more flirtatious toward him and he is going to stop talking to her more, avoid her more. Either way if he had personal feelings mixed in, he came to you. Feels good to wanted, though we know where our heart is. Same goes for a woman.

[dustybiker2]

If your husband is openly telling you about setting boundaries I would assume the woman is forward and its defense.

[mobiusforniner]

No. It means he’s self aware and responsible. It’s the lack of boundaries that causes problems. Been there. Done that.

[77five]

Yes. A guy who has no particular feelings wouldn't be sweating it. He’s setting boundaries cuz he knows he can't trust himself around her.

[CrabCakes11]

No. It means he doesn’t want her to get the wrong idea

[PreferNot2Say]

Most likely she's made it clear that she's attracted to him and he told her no and then set boundaries.

[boggboss]

No could mean he is ensuring that she doesn't get the wrong idea about how he views her

[bobby_bush_eater]

If he's setting boundaries it sounds like he's identified certain behaviors as a potential future problem and wants to address it before it becomes one.

Sounds like a good thing to me

[HighValue]

He is the one doing the right thing. You should be glad.

[OtterMan68]

In this day and age, it's probably a good thing to set boundaries with all co-workers of the opposite sex

[insanebarneykidd]

maybe he dont like her or she is a toxic in workspace

[Angie03]

Sounds like it’s respect for you. Also so he doesn’t get in trouble with accusations.

[stvigor]

It's for hers, her, and your security under the observation of the federal employee adjustment burea.

[Wise4myage]

Yes, I think that is possible. Or, he is not into her at all.

[thisAppIsGarbage]

No it means she is attracted to him and he is covering his ass

[sheikalana]

Nope.