At what point is the boundary crossed with a married coworker?

[Anonymous]

So today I found out that a guy at work who had been flirting with me over several months is married! I had no idea.

So my question is at what point is the line crossed? Nothing actually happened, but does that make it ok?

I know married people still look, but I don’t know how I’d feel about my husband making eyes/checking out consistently and engaging in flirtatious behaviour regularly with the same woman behind my back.

Why wouldn’t he have said?

He always kept her out of the picture even when making small talk about what he did on the weekend etc.

why would he seek my attention?

[_Maya_]

In short because he is a cheater or a potential cheater. Did you cross the line? No. You did not since you didn't know. If you were to continue to flirt then yeah you are crossing the line because you know that he is married now. Did he cross the line? Absolutely. At the very least he is emotionally cheating on his wife by getting a thrill of flirting with you. If it were me I wouldn't associate myself with this guy other than for strict work interactions and nothing more that isn't required. The problem is that others might know that he is indeed married and can view you as a bad person if they think you know about it too. Think about that. They may believe it is common knowledge that he is married and that you just don't care even if that isn't the truth.

[IslaTheWitch]

tbh it depends on the boundaries of his relationship...

also... there is no law forcing him to inform everyone he is married

in general, flirting is no crime... it doesn't mean someone wants to have sex with you... it simply means someone enjoys words and their many meanings...

so... if nothing happened, and he didn't make any open allusions... just enjoyed flirting... I wouldn't look for something that not exist...

[In_Trance]

You're being paid by the company to do a job and act on its behalf and in its best interest at all times.
If you're having a conversation with a coworker that you wouldn't have with your boss you shouldn't be doing it.

[HungTexan]

Flirting hurts no one. If it progresses toward more than a friendly platonic relationship that’s crossing the line.

[OlderAndWiser]

The point is crossed when he or you do something that you would not do if his wife was present.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

this sounds familiar, at my workplace there is also a guy who is married and can be a bit flirty with one of his coworkers

[HelpfulWoman]

shut down the flirting. its icky

[Wise4myage]

When sex chat starts then he’s crossing the line.