Would you rather hear "I love you" or "I respect you"?

[DishLady]

I'd rather someone told me "I love you".

I'd rather someone told me "I respect you".

[worldscolide]

I honestly don't have a real answer for this. At least not as written. I prefer to hear "I love you very you" but I prefer to be shown respect.. But then I love to be shown that she loves me too. It's weird.

Like she's never said the words "I respect you" but she absolutely shows me that she respects me. And she bot says and shows me that she loves me.

[worldscolide]

Wow *I prefer to hear "I love you"

[DishLady]

I was reading something about guys never hearing "i respect you" but always hearing the semi-empty "i love you" from the same people who loved you when you were bing goofy, gross or otherwise "unlovable". We say "i love that" or "love ya" a lot... so it was suggested "i respect you" will make a partner feel more special.

[worldscolide]

You're not wrong.

[DishLady]

I figure when you love a guy... you're kind of "stuck" on him (in the good way). A faithful woman always means it, but sometimes a guy's not "hearing" it the way she means it. I don't know why. Wires crossed sort of thing.

[MrChinaski]

If we are talking parents...

My father loved and respected me every day until he died of cancer. Never once did he tell me that.

My mother hates me and treats me like something she just wiped off the sole of her shoe. She telss me 'I love you' all the time. Pretty sure it's the 'I' bit of that sentence that matters to her.

[Summeroflove]

Look…. Most men want to be loved AND respected. It’s a lie that men just simply need respect. Or that men just need love. It takes both.

Respect is one thing…. Love is deeper then respect. I can respect my boss…. For instance.

[DishLady]

I agree, but have you noticed that it's harder to say "I respect you" to anyone? "Love you!" or "Love that" have become catch-all phrases, but the other is very deliberate... I don't know why. They BOTH should be deliberate in my opinion.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah I agree. It takes both for a relationship to work. But I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where I’m only respected.

Respect can be lost. Unconditional love is harder to break.

[DishLady]

Hmm. Perhaps.

[7Phoenix7]

I’d want to hear “I love you.” But I’d value it even more when the love is consistently shown through their actions and respect for me.

[queenofcardio]

I'd rather hear an I love you. I like to believe that if you love me , you respect me too.

[DishLady]

Yes, true. But for some reason research shows that people don't HEAR "i respect you" or feel respected.

[OlderAndWiser]

A good long term relationship requires lust, love, trust, and respect. So, I'd rather hear "I want you, I love you, I trust you, and I respect you." I'm not settling for one or the other.

[EzraIsShy76028]

Probably I love you. I respect you seems more superficial. I can respect my favorite actor or music artist but that doesn't mean I love them as a person because I don't personally know them.

[DishLady]

I don't know... respect is pretty important to me... goes hand-in-hand with love.

[WhitneySnow]

I want both, but “I love you” is assumed to include respect. Love without respect is not really love.

[Cute_User513]

I agree! You can respect someone without loving them but you can’t love someone without respecting them

[WhitneySnow]

@Cute_User513 yes!!!

[Bitter_Sweet94]

I respect you.

Love without respect fades fast.

Respect shows up in how someone listens, keeps boundaries, and treats you when it’s inconvenient.

“I love you” is meaningful, but “I respect you” is what makes love last.

[MrOracle]

I'm a man. Men value respect. Love without respect is meaningless.

[Cidknee]

So for her to say, " I love you" means she respects you.

[MrOracle]

@Cidknee I wish that were true, but it's not.

The better way to look at it is that her saying "I love you" only has meaning if her attitude and behavior demonstrate that she respects me. Without that, the "I love you" is just empty words - and the flipside is that if her attitude and behavior demonstrates that she respects me, then I'm likely going to feel loved and she doesn't really even need to say the words (though I'd appreciate it if she did anyway).

Regardless if you are religious or not, it's worth noting that even the Bible tells men to love their wives, and tells wives to respect their husbands. This is an acknowledgement that women need love and that men need respect at the core of their relationship structure or the relationship isn't going to work.

[MrOracle]

I should also further clarify that I don't need to be TOLD that I'm respected - I could live my entire life without anyone saying those words. The words aren't what's important - it's the ACTIONS that show that the person respects me - the attitude and behavior. That's what matters.

I want to be told I'm loved in words as well as in actions, but I *need* to be respected, and that needs to be reflected in behavior, not in words.

Hope that makes sense.

[Cidknee]

Perfectly. thanks brains.

[Cidknee]

🙂⭐️

[Cute_User513]

I don’t really think you can love someone without respecting them so I picked “I love you”

[Spencer10]

I think love equals respect... so I love you says it all plus.

[ZinniaRose3430]

I don't know when people respect you , they don't do certain shii so I'd rather hear I respect u cuz someone could claim they love u and treat u bad or snake you

[LatinaXv7]

I kinda agree with you but I think that someone can say they love you but not really understand how that respect and love go hand in hand so they just misuse those words

[Telekinetic-Potato]

A lot of people will say they love you when they don't respect you. Most people won't say they respect you if they don't love you.

[ryanrhino]

I respect my coworkers, even those I don't like. I love my family and close friends and coworkers.

[Phoenix98]

To me they are synonymous with each other. Because for me I can't love someone I don't respect.

[Cidknee]

Oh, "I love you!", depending on the person. I trust you must be speaking of a spouse or intended so, yea.

[Cidknee]

If you LOVE someone you automatically guard and nurture their entire makeup. Before others and internally with your very thoughts. So the short version is "I love you."

[Mark987]

The words " I LOVE YOU", should never be used. If you really do okay. I have used that sentence I think twice in my life.

[Alex-Snow]

I'll go with love... but respect is way cool also

[HawkPerception]

I love you for sure

[Ironco]

I would rather hear praise for when I do good things. That's just me though...

[Cidknee]

An occasional " atta' boy" may suffice.

[LatinaXv7]

A lot of people say I love you, but forget that in order to love they should respect that person they love.

[Cidknee]

Perhaps they realize this so to be given the love the respect must be in place.

[elizamichale1]

The first one more

[Massageman]

I'd like to hear "I'm willing to help you".

[exitseven]

I would rather be told I love you

[UrLoveMocha]

Respect because fear is stronger than love.

[loveyouoak]

I'd rather someone told me "I love you".

[Quigly]

Both are just lip service.

[Anonymous]

I love you sounds better in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

My love whatever you say im ok with both..😘

[beefcakebradybatson]

The latter.