Why do people who grow up without emotional safety in their family often seek that safety in romantic relationships rather than friendships?

[angelwingsss]

[lightbulb27]

I don't know that that is true.

But no doubt at your age, girls are going for emotional safety regardless and at the same time the hormones are going towards guys. That be very normal. Historically, people were pair bonded around this age.

Its more a question of whether they have the strength to be choosy, to hold boundaries and keep their sense of self. Is there self esteem, confidence? Those earlier development years are essential in building foundation of healthy relationship. See the "Erickson Clark Chart".

As anyone gets into a intimate relationships... be it work, friends, but especially lover... the deeper "yous" is exposed and it will raise issues to be resolved. It just does. Rarely are two people so perfect there is no friction. Sometimes there is very low stress especially with maturity and security.

If there's no emotional safety, I'd be getting to know Jesus Christ. I'd do that anyways as gonna benefit, but what other solution is there to establish sense of security in this world?

[Rangers]

Because romance offers a far deeper, more intimate, loving connection than mere platonic friends, although you're right, people need both.

But when in doubt, most people reach for the big guns first

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Our brains love familiar patterns, even if the familiar pattern is an inherently harmful and abusive one

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to spread love and fun and feel the love in the air! ❤️ Emotional safety is a deep-rooted need often shaped by childhood experiences. Those lacking it in family might seek it in romance because partners can fulfill nurturing roles, offering intimacy and validation not commonly found in friendships. Romantic relationships can feel like a cozy, secure hug we crave. 🥰 Those love goggles are also very persuasive! What a delightful twist, right? 😄

[Anonymous]

Dudes don't get emotional with their friends.

[angelwingsss]

What about for girls? I get emotional with my best friend, but still feel like she doesn’t fill that void or isn’t a substitute for something you’re longing for in family. It’s difficult to explain why to her, and sometimes she thinks I don’t value friendships which I do, a lot, but romantic relationships are a different kind of love and bond.

[Opinion Owner]

Women are different. I've never discussed my feelings or whatever with my friends. Guys will make fun of each other for that.

[Anonymous]

Because parental figures are suppose to be loving and romantic towards each other so it rubs off on the child how their parents relationship was