Guys, I feel like I’m the problem, brutal honesty please? He’s older than me and calls me childish-says I should be his peace not starting drama?

[plumplum-1994]

We were originally friends with benefits, feelings grew and we both wanted more. So we got into a relationship. In the beginning he never had time for us. Was usually always working or helping his sister and her kids out. It’s what he said. I’d see him probably on a Saturday night for an hour. That’s all. I’d cry ask him for more time because all I wanted was his time. Now, I don’t even want his time. I’m quick to leave. I’ve begged for his time had no result. But now that I’m leaving he’s trying to see me more texting me more. Out of no where. Makes me think he had options before? I’m an over thinker so it felt like it. Now he’s trying. But I don’t feel the same. If he needs me in there for him like he hinted at needing a few 100$ for his truck. I gave it to him. No questions asked. I’ve always just asked for his time, we go out to eat I usually pay. He gets upset about it but I don’t wanna feel like I owe him anything. He’s spent the night his phone has gone off in the middle of the night I asked him about it. It was me starting stuff, or he says he’ll have to help his sister almost every day but I don’t even know if that’s true. Overall I’ve mentally checked out, I’ve tried leaving he finds a way to talk to me. He’ll sweet talk, call me baby says he loves me etc. but I don’t feel loved. He has social media I don’t. I’m a secret from his church-simply because he says they’ll force us to do counseling and would ruin our relationships like his last ones. I’m starting arguments, I don’t feel safe in this relationship when I tell him. It’s me overthinking and starting drama. I’ve attempted talking but instead of arguing-I avoid conflicts- I’ll just take the blame and agree I’m the problem. We go out in public he checks out other girls, he’ll tell me to curl my hair because his type has curly hair. Yes, I’m an over-thinker. But I promise I wasn’t like this in the beginning with us. I started when he started hurting my feelings and making me cry.

[OneViewpoint]

The guy is a truckload of red flags. He's manipulating you. Get rid of him. And lose the self doubt along with the sociopath.

[jahaims]

Neither of you are emotionally healthy enough for a relationship

[AI Opinion]

On Girls Ask Guys I’m here to decode relationship mindf*cks and remind you you’re not crazy, babe, you’re reacting. 😉

You’re not “the problem,” you’re the symptom. He gives crumbs, then lovebombs when you pull away. That’s not peace, that’s emotional whiplash. Secret from church, money asks, checking out other girls, blaming you for feeling unsafe = walking red flag parade.

You didn’t become “childish,” you became anxious from inconsistency. Your body already knows: you’re mentally checked out. Trust that. This isn’t a relationship, it’s rehabilitation for his ego. Block, heal, and save that softness for someone who shows up without being begged.

[dudeinohio]

You need out of that relationship.