What’s the best way to progress from a friendship to a serious romantic relationship?

[MissSunshine2]

So, one of my best guy friends and I who’ve known each other for just over a year, have decided we want to be together after finishing our educations. My guy bestie has had a few serious relationships and understands women well. I’ve learnt to understand men better, but I’m no expert on men or serious relationships, as most of mine were casual, because they didn’t like me enough to commit to me. (Except for two).

I’m wondering how we should escalate things. I suspect there should be more finesse than saying; ‘Let’s get naked and shag;’ like how most of my ‘relationships’ turned out to be like.

What usually happens when you both are in love and it’s not just about sex? Who makes the first move for kissing, sex and commitment? Does it have to be the man, or can it be either, or both of you discussing taking the next step together? Do you just stay over at a motel if you’re both currently living at home while studying, or should you arrange to go somewhere really special for a romantic weekend away?

I am not very experienced at this stuff. by the way, we both have Asperger’s Syndrome, which makes us mildly eccentric already and slightly clueless about social cues in general.

[new-person]

If you are both in love, it will happen naturally. What usually happens when you both are in love and it’s not just about sex. really the relationship becomes about quality time, and being with each other. Although there are different love languages and that just means how the person sees love. Example is some express and see love by acts of service, cooking a special dinner, doing small things for you so you don't have to. Others see and express love with gifts, it is important to understand this about eachother first.

Who makes the first move for kissing, sex and commitment? This it can be either, and this all depends on how shy the other is, or how bold they are, plus's how comfortable you and they are with each other. And, yes you both can say let's try kissing and discuss trying the waters of intimacy.

Do you just stay over at a motel if you’re both currently living at home while studying, or should you arrange to go somewhere really special for a romantic weekend away? This is full up to the both of you and how you want to experience it. It also depends on how much money you have, or if you rather save it for the best day of your life when you both put on the rings.

In turns this is not what most people do, it is about the both of you and what you like and want. Some people are ok with doing the act in their bedroom with their parents downstairs in the living room, some are ok doing it all night with their parents in the next bedroom. Some rather a hotel, others are ok with a motel.

I find when you truly love the other, sex becomes pleasuring them, and it is an expression of love. This is why making love can go on for hrs and sex only 10 minutes depending on the guy. Because there is a lot of foreplay in making love.

I say if you both are falling in love with each other, talk about it and plan it together. But if you want to, this I think is the best. As if he wants to wait till something you do not risk pushing him off by surprising him and it becoming uncomfortable. Think about it this way, this is good practice in talking about things and planning things together.

[Summeroflove]

The best thing is to be direst and honest trying to play “long games” can cause someone whose interested to loose interest and cause someone who isn’t to start to feel awkwardly. I wouldn’t even think about sex. Try focusing on romance and bonding. Before it gets to that.

[WhitneySnow]

You need to straight up ask him out. Or at least tell him you have feelings for him and let him make the next move. Good luck! Sounds like he likes you back. You got this.

[MissSunshine2]

He told me that he loves me and that he has some romantic interest as well. I feel the same way. He tried to kiss me in public when I hugged him good night, after dinner. I stopped him and explained it wasn't due to a lack of interest, it's because he said he's my therapist's son so we can't date until I change therapists, so I was covering them. Also, I don't like PDA's, being kissed in front of all my friends and my whole community would embarrass me. He understood and we've been talking a lot between studies and work and he's coming to my next social event, so we can spend some time together.

[WhitneySnow]

That sounds great!

[MissSunshine2]

Thanks 🥰

[DishLady]

^ This ^. Ageed.

[DishLady]

*Agreed. (Sorry for the typo!)

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you turn good connections into healthy, sexy, drama-free relationships 😏

You two are already halfway in love, which is adorable and powerful, not a red flag at all. Progress it slowly, but clearly. You don’t need lovebombing or a Hollywood script, just honest communication.

You can absolutely initiate. Either of you can make the first move. With Asperger’s in the mix, clear words beat guessing. Try: “I want us to be more than friends. Can we try being boyfriend and girlfriend now, not just after studies?”

For kissing and touch, say what you’re doing. “Can I kiss you?” is not cringe, it’s respectful and hot when the vibe is right. Consent is sexy.

Sex doesn’t need to be some magic weekend away. A cheap motel, a private Airbnb, or even a day room is fine as long as you feel safe and unrushed. The “special” part is the connection, not the price.

Think of it as leveling up: friendship → exclusive dating → couple. Talk about commitment openly. “I don’t want to date anyone else, do you feel the same?”

You’re not clueless, you’re careful. That’s a green flag.

[RavVid]

Hmmh. I think think there needs to be lust before romance honestly.

And I think the conscious logical neo cortex has little to do with it. More the driver is the unconscious mind/brain - the 4F brain (Feed, Flee, Fight, Fuck).

It is almost as though you are saying that you logically want to fall in love and flick a switch. But it is something of an arranged marriage; except you and he are doing the arranging instead of parents.

Like an arranged marriage there is no reason you can't have a very successful, stable loving marriage between you. However it may not be a Disney falling in love experience.

That is not necessarily a bad thing because Disney falling in love doesn't work so well whilst mature love does.

[OneViewpoint]

Raw raunchy sex is the safest way to proceed. So "let's get naked and shag" is the right approach. Get the kinks out and get past the shock.

Oooooorrrrrr...

You could just let it happen naturally when the moment feels right for both of you.

[ABitShattered]

You tell him "you're hot I'm hot let's be hot together."

...

I kid. In all seriousness just be honest and open with your feelings and wants and desires. Chances are if you're both getting closer he's going to feel the same. The direct approach is super attractive for men if they're into you.

[MrChinaski]

Romantic dinner, moonlit walk, tons of snogging. Picnic, tons of snogging, if you prefer day. Tried and true.

I had to read your very articulate post three times. The situation you describe is brand new to me.

[DextroShade]

You are going tp have to make the first move. Just ask him "Why have never dated?" and go from there.

[Shy-boy53]

If you are that great a friends with each other then just be honest. I’m sure he will feel flattered you feel that way

[DarKnight36]

This had happened to me. I had overcome it. It had turned into a beautiful relationship.

[qwerty2469]

I don't think there is. A friendship like that is rarer than finding a lover. It's just not worth it.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Dont force it just spend time together and let it take a natural progression

[ohsheeT]

Just.\nLet it happen

[RingOfFire]

Good sex? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Massageman]

Carefully. Very carefully.