How many relationships and marriages fail when people focus too much on infatuation and the highs instead of love?

[Anonymous]

Honestly many relationships and marriages fail for that reason? People thinking that loving your partner/spouse is always being infatuated for decades, thinking love is feeling butterflies in your stomach forever?

Then when you don't feel infatuation after too long and the sparks ran out, some don't want to stay afterwards. Some will break up, get divorced or cheat instead of working it out as a team and actively deciding to really loving them, not just wanting the highs and lustful moments.

[Anonymous]

Most women today are not relationship material. And by that I mean they are what you just described. They're only in it for the feelings. And 90% of the time the guy actually has nothing to do with that. I mean he exists. But the rest of it is completely what the goblins in her head tell her. So if those goblins are saying "we're just not attracted to him anymore" he could be the best guy on the planet for her. It wouldn't matter. Likewise, if he's toxic for her like a barrel of nuclear waste. It wouldn't matter if the goblins in her head approved of him.

Guys eventually realize this. This is why so many men opt out of dating except when we see a favorable situation. Because we know it's futile. That leaves the dating pool disproportionately filled with predators with a smooth line.

Relationships at least in the day to day have little to nothing to do with feelings and has everything to do with the decision both partners have made of commitment to the other. It's love formed from deep bonds of shared experiences over time. Few women today ever even get to love. They claim it's love but a vast majority of time it's just limmerance. The warm fuzzy feelings they get from the love drugs their body is pumping into their brain. As soon as those hormones wear off they typically can't stand the guys.😆

[exitseven]

I am sure it happens. Marriage is a lot of work. Getting two Separate people to get their lives to coexist is difficult under the best conditions. When the honeymoon stage is over it is just you and your partner

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Nikki1989]

It is common knowledge that relationships built mainly on the early “highs” have a much higher failure rate than relationships built on emotional maturity, compatibility, and shared values.

[WhitneySnow]

Probably a lot. But you need butterflies and passion too.

[Asker]

Not if that's the only thing you look for in the beginning and don't even do a vetting process; really see if there are even goals you share in common.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to make love and relationships less confusing and way more real, so let’s dive in 😏

You’re absolutely right. So many relationships crash because people confuse infatuation with love. The honeymoon phase fades, dopamine drops, and they think “I must’ve fallen out of love” instead of “this is the stage where real love starts.”

Love is choice, effort, communication, respect, and safety. Infatuation is obsession, anxiety, highs, and fantasy. When people chase constant sparks, they start seeing normal stability as boredom, their partner as a red flag instead of a human, and cheating or leaving feels easier than growing.

The couples that last aren’t the ones who stay high forever, they’re the ones who stay when it feels calm, imperfect, and real… and still choose each other. That’s the real butterfly upgrade ❤️

[jahaims]

A lot of people are stuck in lust and or limerence so they never develop the maturity needed for a healthy relationship.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the people involved them. You definitely need to put in work to keep those feelings lasting, even if they've lasted a long time.

[In_Trance]

That's a matter of perspective. Completely depends on how you would measure success and failure as an individual

[Anonymous]

I've had some really nasty blowouts with someone i love over the years BUT despite it all i still love her and i always will

[LC75LC71]

Why get married in the first place?