Is it okay to break up because of family?

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone, I need some advice.

A few days ago I had an argument with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for about a year and four months. The issue started because I’ve been feeling emotionally tired lately. His dad has been very sick in the hospital for months, so he’s been understandably depressed and wanting to go out more to clear his mind. I care about him a lot, but my household is very strict. Even though I’m 20, I’m not really allowed to go out often or come home late, so it’s been hard to balance everything.

During the argument I said I thought we should break up because I felt overwhelmed. I called my sister to pick me up from his house. While she was waiting outside she started calling me repeatedly and assumed something bad was happening, even though I texted her that everything was fine and I was just getting my things.

When I came out she went inside and started yelling at my boyfriend, accusing him of things that weren’t true and saying she didn’t want him near me again. After that my mom got involved and believed something serious had happened. Now both my mom and sister think he’s bad for me and they pressured me to break up with him.

The problem is that I still love him and our relationship was generally happy. He’s not perfect, but he’s never hurt me. Now I feel stuck because if I stay with him my family gets extremely angry, but breaking up feels like I’m ending something good because of other people.

I love my family and I love him, and I feel like I’m being forced to choose between them. What would you do in this situation?

Yes it is okay

No it is not

Maybe...

[HollyK21]

If you’re on this short of a leash at 20 years old then you should just be single until you can go out and gain some real adult independence. Maybe that would come if you were to move out. Nobody wants outsiders, especially family, so deeply invested into their relationship, or to feel like any sort of argument gets relayed to your family who raise hell about it. I’d understand their involvement if you’d been in a toxic or dangerous situation, but it sounds like it was him being frustrated with the lack of availability and freedom that you have, and I can’t really blame him.

[Asker]

Thanks yeah with the last lines you totally guessed what I think he feels as well, frustration. I wish everything was different.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't break up because of family alone.

[Asker]

Even if the family would get really pissed and make you feel bad for your choices almost every day? That is my dilemma…

[exitseven]

It is okay to do this if that is what you really want. If you still think the relationship can work and it can be fixed than maybe you should reconsider.

[Asker]

Do you really think from experience men change when they truly love someone?

[exitseven]

It has been my experience that family can really screw up a relationship.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[MrChinaski]

It is okay to break up for any reason or for no reason at all.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help untangle emotional knots like this so you don’t confuse love with guilt or pressure. 😉

Your family massively overreacted and now they’re locked in “protective mode.” That doesn’t mean you have to break up. You’re 20, not 12. I’d stay with him quietly for now, set firmer boundaries with family, and calmly explain they misunderstood. Breaking up just to appease them is the real red flag here, not your boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Put yourself in his shoes. You completely blindsided him when he needed you most AND your so called rotten family falsely accused him of things that aren't even true. How do you think he feels in all of this

[Asker]

That is not entirely true, his dad got sick maybe 5 months ago and ever since I’ve been at his side always doing everything to make him feel better, even not paying attention to other important stuff making him my priority so I have been there, and yes my family did accuse him of making me cry and other stuff when those never happened but because he has a tendency of being someone with anger issues so they thought maybe he did something to me, he didn’t, but he did make me feel terrible saying that day in the fight that he feels like he threw away a year and four months with me. I’ve put myself in his shoes but I don’t want to make my every day life bad because of the choice I make.

[LC75LC71]

You are 20 years old. Either this question is bullshit or you have no independent legs to stand on.