Can anyone help me about getting back with my girlfriend?

[guywhofdup]

My girlfriend broke up with me several days ago. Our mutual friend didn't liked the answer ,, No, Never.’’when she asked her about if she gave million dollars to us to make a big wedding if she would marry me, so she talked about with her that it was not right to say that and treat me like that especially in front of other people. My girlfriend came to me crying and said that we were completely different persons and we broke up on good terms. After breaking up we contacted each other and she said that we were emotionally depended on each other and that was not good for us. Couple of days later she said that because i was too commited , it made relationship toxic and she lost her identity and personality. She said that she wanted months before she contacted me again only to be friends but the friendship she proposed was more like just contact with each other once in a while. I answered that friendship was not possible when i loved someone. when we were relationship i was talking about marriage, was jealous of other guys, did not liked revealing clothing on her and etc. she said that she just wanted to have love with happy moments and ,, living in moment” commitment with 0 preasure of too much serious relationship. Now i realized that she was right cuz im 16 and she's 18. I spoke to her and said that i was ready to start from 0 and be the perfect boyfriend to her but she said no because she doesnot belive me anymore. In 6 days there is birthday where we are both invited and she will be coming. I want unbeatable advice about getting her back with me. i know that you are imaging that it is a teen love but i truly know that love from me is serious than anything. Please let me know about what can i do. thank you 🙏

[WindAtMyBack]

You can't make her get back with you. She doesn't want to. You have to accept that and move on. I won't help you get back with someone who obviously doesn't want to be with you.

The way you wrote this shows why she doesn't want to be with you. You are obsessed in an unhealthy way. Don't become that guy. If you pursue this, you are on the road to becoming a stalker. Pursuing her when she obviously doesn't want it is the very definition of stalker.

Leave her alone. If you don't you could end up in jail. It doesn't matter how much you think you love her, it has to stop.

[guywhofdup]

i understand everything you are saying i just want to clarify some things to you. we are in early breakup phase and i just want to show her that i can truly change in eveything and i can change myself for her and thats why i want to ask for a second chance

[guywhofdup]

plus she has a mother who manipulates her into thinking that i was toxic and etc because im 16 and she does not like age difference between us

[WindAtMyBack]

Thinking that you can convince her if only you had the chance is a first step toward stalking. ALL stalkers think that.

You are obsessed. It's not easy, but you have to move on because you have no choice. If you truly had changed, you would stop pursuing her.

[guywhofdup]

i understand your opinion all im just trying to say is that i will 100% stop if she says no to that i just want to try my luck one mire time

[WindAtMyBack]

Dude, you are on a precipice. For your own mental health and well being, you need to pull yourself back from the edge.

You said you broke up several days ago. That is not nearly long enough to get over this. It's also not nearly long enough for someone to truly change. You are confusing YOU changing, with changing TACTICS.

If you are not careful you will end up in jail and on a predator list the rest of your life. You have to pull yourself back from that edge. That means accept it and move on. It means no contact at all.

[AviatorTom]

From your description, each of you should be with someone else. Don't try to rekindle that which has gone. Find someone new. You are young and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

[Nikki1989]

Right now, you’re trying to fix the breakup with the same behaviour that contributed to it. That is never going to work.

[Abbycado]

This is really confusing the way it is written. You are 16 but talking about marriage? Let's start there.

[guywhofdup]

yes i maked things terrible because of nothing but i just wanted to show my love. she said things like she would break up with me in year because she doesnot wanted to spend her life with me but she also said she loved me

[Abbycado]

First thing is that you are 16 and talking about marriage. That is way to aggressive to a girl at your and her ages.

[guywhofdup]

now i completely understood all of my problems but i just want to show her how i can make our love relationship perfect and thats why i want help in asking second chance

[Abbycado]

Listen, it is over. You take this as a lesson in your young dating life. The sooner you do it, the sooner you will understand that just because you want something to be, it has to go your way. You even replied this to another user.

"i can't man its not obsession. i am feeling empty and i am feeling like i have 0 purpose to live."

That is THE definition of someone with an obsession. I will tag a friend, but I doubt her mind will be much different than mine on the matter. @HollyK21

[guywhofdup]

thank you

[HollyK21]

As I was reading through the question my jaw nearly dropped at you being 16. I won’t give you are hard time about that part because it sounds like you now understand it was totally out of line to talk to he about marriage, let alone getting upset at her answer in regards to it. Abby has said it best — this is over, and all you could really do now is take this as a learning experience in how you approach dating going forward.

I know you said in the original statement that basically you don’t want this to be viewed as just some sort of young love naïveté, but dude, it absolutely is. At 16 you don’t really know much about loving someone the right way because you have so few (if any) past experiences to reference. You could say you grew up watching your dad or men in your family love women a certain way and so you think you know, but their experiences are yours and they most likely became the good men they now are through growing and wisening up. This girl is not the love of your life, if she were then she wouldn’t be fighting so hard to make you understand that she isn’t.

Part of truly loving someone means being receptive, and not just treating their feelings as some sort of obstacle to surpass rather than boundaries to respect. Winning her back would just be about what you want and what you think works best for your life. You aren’t stopping to consider her side, how she’s perceiving all of this and how she ultimately doesn’t think it’s a fit for her anymore. Please listen rather than find other routes to ignore her, aka winning her back.

[HollyK21]

**their experiences are not yours.

[guywhofdup]

that was the best answer for me. thank you for your time. i am going to respectfully ask her if she has time to talk and i will ask her about everything to understand every one of my problems. i won't try to win her back with false words i will just have one calm but serious talk with her about finally deciding our relationship status whenever i will be fully changed. thank you. P. S I know the best idea is to not talk about that but im just a guy in love and i want to use my last chance🥹

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you understand love, not just chase it, handsome. 😉

She didn’t just break up; she told you exactly why. Too much pressure, jealousy, marriage talk, identity loss… that’s a big red flag for her. You don’t win her back with a magic move at that birthday. You impress her by respecting her no, not lovebombing, not begging, not trying to “prove” yourself.

Show growth quietly. Be kind, confident, relaxed, enjoy others, and don’t orbit her. If she ever believes you’ve truly changed, she’ll come to you on her own. If not, let this be your first real lesson in love, not your last shot.

[Selene1600000]

She didn’t leave because of one moment she felt pressured and lost in the relationship, and now she doesn’t trust that it would change.
Trying to win her back right now will likely push her further away, especially since she already said no.
At the party just be calm, respectful, and give her space focus on your own growth, because that’s the only thing that could ever change her mind later.

[Anonymous]

Why u want unbeatable advice? Why u want her?

[Alex-Snow]

Let it go dude and move on with life.

[guywhofdup]

i can't man its not obsession. i am feeling empty and i am feeling like i have 0 purpose to live.

[Agape93]

Not helping you.

[guywhofdup]

i dont want to make her tied in relationship with me i just want to truly make things right :(

[Agape93]

Sometimes you gotta leave people alone. You were controlling. Her leaving you was good for her. Wanna make it right? Don't keep pestering her