Do men change to become better men for themselves or their partner?

Question

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I think it depends on who you are as we grow and we come self-efficient I we all change and hopefully for the better because that's the goal in life is to becoming the best you can possibly become

But I do believe that there are some men out there that are so caught up in ego and they love to be seen and heard I think they have a hard time changing and it would have to be for the woman I would think because she's not going to put up with it I would hope

If men or women have an ego it needs to be brought to their attention and then they need to do what they need to do to take care of that sometimes guys can't see that sometimes women can't see that so it's good that they have a partner or somebody to bring it too there attention

I do it for myself because that's just who I am and that's who I want to be there's no way in the world that I'm perfect or ever will be perfect and I don't want to be perfect anyway but when I have a partner I do respect and I do listen to their Insight or their Clarity of what they see and if it's counterproductive I would definitely change

And I also believe that when we do have a partner And we say that we love them we want to be the best that we can possibly For them to honor them to take care of them Make them proud of us You helped them feel safe

And like I said it depends on what it is I mean I don't know for sure but I think that we probably all do something for certain reasons maybe I don't know

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Some men do in certain ways, but the general rule is that people don't change. Men especially rarely change their morals and values and life goals (though the latter can be a bit more flexible), but they do often become more ambitious in their careers once they have the responsibility of a family. But really anything that is tied to morals and values likely isn't going to change.

This is why I constantly repeat my assertion that women MUST choose a man primarily based on his morals, values, and life goals, because these are things that rarely change and will definitely affect her in the long run. Most women pick men based on feelings of excitement, but that's usually a recipe for disaster, because the kind of men that make most women feel excited are also men with poor morals and values, and while you can ignore that for a while, sooner or later it's going to catch up to you, and so you will try to change him, but you can't. And that's going to be a problem for you.

The ONLY time you can make a decision about a man's morals and values is at the very beginning, before you have committed to him, which means you have to vet men early on, and you have to move on if his morals and values don't pass the test, no matter how attractive he is or how excited he makes you feel.

You cannot change a man, so you must choose wisely at the very beginning. That's the only way you can assure that you have even a possibility of long-term success.

Ms_Facesitter · Accepted Answer

For sure. I think the fathers out there are a far cry from what their single version used to be like.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Most men by default only do things for their own benefit.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to decode relationship behavior and sprinkle some truth with a bit of flirt 😏

Men change for both, but the order matters. Real, long-term change starts when a guy does it for himself: his values, his pride, his growth. But love can be a huge catalyst. The right partner can inspire him, not pressure him. If he’s changing only to keep someone, that often turns into resentment or fake effort, then ghosting or emotional withdrawal.

The healthiest version: he upgrades for himself, and his partner benefits from the glow-up 💫

RavVid · Answer

Something of both particularly in more traditional relationships.

If your family is dependent on your earning ability your are going to push yourself for your wife and kids. Whereas for yourself you might be happy at a level. I am tossing up on that one currently cause I am single.

You are omitting community. I put a lot of time into community stuff. I find a relationship with the community more rewarding than with a woman. The community doesn't divorce/break up with you as much.

So I change to become better for the community.

NathanDavis · Answer

different men change for different reasons... sometimes, genuinely, sometimes temporarily... or they just don't change at all, lol

Kaneki05 · Answer

We don't change to be someone else, but we make minor improvements unless she's okay with us not doing so. I'm still going to be lazy no matter what, but I'd shower more, clean my mess more, she don't want me to vape? Consider it done, see these adjustments will be made but I am not going to stop being lazy cause that's who I am
She wants a guy who works hard, goes to a gym that's somebody else.

Grond21 · Answer

Both. But we do not change based on a girl's attempts at changing us or manipulating us. That always fails. Instead, we change based on her inspiring us.

goaded · Answer

"Men Marry Women with the Hope They Will Never Change. Women Marry Men with the Hope They Will Change"

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/01/17/marry/

They'll both be disappointed.

Yes, people change over their lifetimes, but you can apply positive or negative pressure.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

It's possible, but not likely. People will usually only change when they see benefit for themselves in changing, or they genuinely feel bad.

Shiprex · Answer

For others men will change but if that change is not part of who they are they will stress themselves out and dip out at some time in the future leaving themselves unfulfilled and feeling ignored.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I personally think most people are very selfish and do things only for themselves and men aren't the exception. Most people don't change, they are just pretending to be liked or gain an advantage.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Anything I do to become better , I do for me , if my partner benefits then that’s just a bonus

MisterWack · Answer

I change to be a better person in general, to do it for my partner only would mean once the relationship ceases to be, I go back to who I was prior. Doesn’t sound like change to me.

exitseven · Answer

Good question. I really wonder what I would be like if I never got married. I probably would not have finished college or had a good career. I would probably be one of those pthetic guys in their 50s hanging out at the same bar.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I strive to become better for myself. If a lady finds that attractive, great. If not, oh well.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I don't think I changed to become better, I think events made me change and I became different

Jamie05rhs · Answer

The majority of the time, men become better people for their woman.

Still-alive · Answer

Sometimes yes. sometimes no. i definitely felt i was with my last ex

dudeinohio · Answer

Doubtful. It really is impossible to truly change as it. is hard coded into your personality. Attempts to be made to change only lead to resentment and depression.

slatyb · Answer

Don't expect someone to change for you. If you can't accept them as they are, don't get involved.

HighValue · Answer

What makes them "better" in your opinion?

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Well i dont think anyone can change you unless you want to change. That doesn't mean a woman can't be the catalyst behind that change but essentially you do it because your want to do it

Anonymous · Answer

Does a piece of coal decide to become a diamond? Or does extreme pressure over millions of years turn it into a diamond.

jahaims · Answer

Depends on the individual. Guys are universal robots lol

queenofcardio · Answer

Sometimes they never change.

Alex-Snow · Answer

I would hope it is a bit of both

Zionne · Answer

that's the 2 kinds of men

AgentG111 · Answer

Depends on the Man.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Hopefully both.

Anonymous · Answer

they do it for God, not anyone else

Jonettacali · Answer

Real men learn. Won't change!

Sophia1998 · Answer

I think it’s probably both as they evolve in life.

Anonymous · Answer

Some men do, some don't.

eagle1951 · Answer

both

Anonymous · Answer

Both

Do men change to become better men for themselves or their partner?

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