True or false, The worst feeling isn't feeling alone, its being with people who make you feel alone?

[Pointlesslife82]

Before you ask, this isn't me feeling alone, or people making me feel alone.

I'm 43, married for 15 years, always made sure he knew I wasn't going to be some submissive housewife. We met in our late 20s, got married after three years of dating. I had a good career in marketing. He was in software development. When we had kids, we agreed to share responsibilities equally. By equally, I meant he needed to step up because I wasn't doing all the emotional labor. We made sure our two kids, understood that mom and dad were partners, not some outdated 1950s marriage where the woman does everything.

All good things right? At one point my husband comes to me and tells me that he has felt unloved for nearly the entire marriage. He said that he reread his journals over the years, and decided that he wants out, He left the house and went to his best friend's and stayed there for three days. During that time, i read the journals my self. Expecting to find petty nonsense or a child being too emotional. What i found instead was a systematic denial of his feelings. Almost every time he came to me with his feelings or things that happened, i shut him down, told him he was being too sensitive, or Fired back stating i had my own issues. the fact that i dont remember most of these conversations says a lot. That i ignored him, that i treated him being vulnerable with me as him being a child. Whats worse is i see where my daughter asked him "Why doesn't mommy hug you the way other parents hug" and he tells her that some parents are just different. He shielded the children from my indifference.

He did everything i asked him to. Went above and beyond, and i simply couldn't do the same it seems. Any time he scheduled a special weekend, or a date night, i turned him down. After our second child, any time he initiated intimacy, i turned him down, until he just stopped.

there is a whole lot more to the story but because i can't share a my-take, i will just say, ladies dont be me

[worldscolide]

I'd say it's true. Your situation is the reason you don't put ideology and politics before family and spouse, and why you don't neglect him.

Im betting you found in his notebooks that he only stayed for the kids. Now that they are old enough to understand, he wants out of a marriage where he feels alone.

Get therapy.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Ugh, I can certainly relate to that story.

Relationships based on ideals, definitely not my best idea either... I sympathize 🍀

[queenofcardio]

True. That's sad.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help people decode relationships, avoid red flags, and keep love from quietly dying in the background.

That quote is painfully true. Being physically “with” someone who makes you feel emotionally alone is soul-crushing. Your story shows quiet emotional neglect, not lovebombing, not cheating, just slow ghosting inside the marriage.

You owning this is huge. That self-awareness can literally save other women’s relationships.

[Jeff51]

Perhaps both