What do you think is the root problem that causes the majority of relationships to fail?

[HawkPerception]

[Finchie40]

Selfishness , most people want their cake and want to eat it to , especially when things don’t go their way in a relationship , selfish people shouldn’t be pursuing relationships with anyone, because all they care about is themselves. To have a healthy loving
Relationship with someone , it takes the both of you to choose each other and prioritize each other over everything and everyone else in this world. You can’t expect your partner to do for you, if you can’t do for them , it needs to go both ways. Unfortunately a lot of people get into relationships for the wrong reasons , most people don’t look at the big picture when they meet someone they are attracted to , they are just infatuated with that person without really knowing that person , so they just assume things are good , as long as they are getting their way , but the second they don’t get their way , they try to play a victim and will run to someone else to save them , which makes them a selfish person. If you can’t remove selfishness for your partner , don’t expect them to do the same for you. Why selfishness is one of the biggest relationship killers , people that think grass is greener on the other side instead of just watering the grass they are already standing on. A loving relationship happens when 2 people stand by each others’ side no matter what obstacles come their way in life , having that love with someone is priceless. Because you are both a priority not a convenience

[InknKink]

Lack of constructive communication leading to a loss of respect and resentment.

[Simslover92]

Lack of communication and lack of effort put forth into the relationship.

Some people get into relationships, go through the honeymoon stage and think it will always be rainbows and sunshine and then when problems start, they don't know how to communicate these issues and give up on trying to fix the problems because they feel like it will magically just go away or get easier the longer they are in the relationship when reality is they will only get worse, the more time it's avoided.

Then there is disconnection within the relationship because these things aren't presented in an agreeable way where both parties understand what the person wants and needs. There becomes a mismatch within the relationship and it becomes hard to get back to a good footing over time.

[HawkPerception]

Well said.

[Simslover92]

Thanks.

[7Phoenix7]

Exactly this

[Screenwriter]

Serious differences in values and goals and problems in communicating these differences.

[HawkPerception]

I'd say that's definitely accurate

[OlderAndWiser]

Most couple who spend time together discover that they have a conflict about values, goals, desires, that makes them incompatible (such as religious beliefs, desire for a family, desire to be a stay-at-home mom, desire to relocate geographically, etc.) I think the next significant problem is the discovery that one partner wants a serious relationship and is willing to do the work while the other wants to remain casual and contribute minimally.

[NicholasofAustralia]

@OlderAndWiser there should be a movie or a 60 minutes special on how "avoiding those early topics on early dates - religion, politics, life goals" - may be what's the root cause also. Being polite by not being impolite upfront it's perhaps the problem that then decades later is what keeps divorce lawyers in jobs 💼 with briefcases of the finest leathers man can make and man can buy 🫣🤭

[OlderAndWiser]

@NicholasofAustralia I am married now, but when I was dating in my sixties, it was very common for me and my date to openly talk about our goals for dating when we were on our first date. Older people are less interested in wasting time.

[AviatorTom]

When the reason the relationship started and flourished fades over time, the relationship may eventually fail.

Let's use me as an example. My then-wife and I got married with the main goal of raising a family. Sure, we had some things in common but family was out main goal. When the kids grew up, we discovered that we no longer had much in common, and amicably divorced.

[NicholasofAustralia]

That you two had contributed as a unit to society (more workers/more taxpayers) and therefore - what else but either to continue wedded and opt for the divorce amicable route :)

[aaron13547]

People fall in love because love is something we think we need to be whole. Love is thought of as a cause and its not a cause. It is an effect!

Like when two people just enjoy being with each other, it makes life better. No conditions. The problem comes when we want that person to make life more enjoyable for us. We expect it because... And thats not love is a fractured piece of love.

Lust is numbness to love. Its an ego talking, and love has no "self" its a selfless emotion

Our egos are the problem!

[Angelo75]

Everybody watches TV and media and think they can get good relationship advice from that.
So at the end of the day everybody goes into a relationship thinking "what can I GET out of it".
Well if both parties are sitting there looking at what they can GET, the relationship won't work.
If one of them goes in with the correct mindset, about "what can I GIVE to the one i love", then for a while it might work. Problem is that if only one side keeps giving, eventually the relationship still fails. And to make things worse, there is a big chance that the one that was the giver will start feeling stupid for doing so and also go into the next relationship thinking what he/she can GET out of it.
The only way it can work is with BOTH SIDES going in with the midset "what can I GIVE to the one i love".

[Anonymous]

@HawkPerception 👀 🧠 y'all may be shocked to hear this coming from the likes of me even:

Just don't credit me the messenger of the message or the viewpoint that: appreciation for realistic and that perfection is unrealistic. Because humans being humans, everything we do or touch or invent or act on, like probability, eventually there's a trip or a slip or a fail whale. Lol. And that nobody's perfect.

And that goes for our looks, our habits, our positives and our flaws - so that's why. People who want perfection, even myself while nice and all - it then becomes its own ignorant spell 🫠🙃

[Opinion Owner]

Having unrealistic expectations and an unrealistic approach to all things in life. Basically. That's the root cause. 😈

[MicahRaine]

I think the root problem is a poor understanding of love.

If people truly understood love, I think there would be comparatively few troubles in today's world.

[HawkPerception]

That's deep take man

[MicahRaine]

Haha well I'm religious so I have to get deep sometimes right?

[thegreenyogi]

Getting together for the wrong reasons and unwillingness to work as a team.

[NicholasofAustralia]

Or eventually ceasing to be "a team/the team" - for whatever reasonings or reasons 😶😐

[NathanDavis]

probably... the fact that a lot of people get into a relationship first, and then, later... get to find out if they're compatible with the other person

[CherryLove007]

1. Your attitude about the problem... the pink elephant in the room.

2. Outgrowing another person.

Take your pick.

[HawkPerception]

But if you had to choose one main problem...

[CherryLove007]

Outgrowing another person

Not the loud, dramatic kind of failure—but the quiet, slow drift that’s almost harder to catch. After that everything unravels.

[HawkPerception]

So there's no such thing as loyalty if the person doesn't keep up with you in life?

[CherryLove007]

Well no only if my respect for my partner is gone.

[NicholasofAustralia]

Outgrowing is definitely a real heartbreaker and an honest one. Some folks in the 1950s or 1900s getting married "hitched" as they'd say you know, wedded, at 18 or at 21, it's like "bro + you're not always the same person at 30 or 40 that you were at 21 even" - 👀🫣 I'm amazed there weren't more than, than even divorces than now.

[NicholasofAustralia]

Both the positive and the negative of the thing called life experience / aka growth 📈

[HighValue]

It is most often women's immorality and unfairness that ruins relationships. Not all, but MOST.

[dudeinohio]

Lack of open communication

[purplepoppy]

Him not being good enough.

[NicholasofAustralia]

And vice versa - and sometimes it's lack of maturity, mental illnesses, trauma, shortcomings - that make people put the sunglasses on 🕶️ 🫣 than appreciate what is in front 🫠🙃

[FreyaRed]

Lack of mutual respect

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

The feeling of insignificance

[NicholasofAustralia]

Or the incompatibility : whether it was always there or showed itself over time - a shame for all 💍💍💒 yet also probably happens and always will happen - and some people even put rings on "knowing they're not right for me - but they're close enough." - lol. Not always wise. 🦉 A real catch-22 🏏 term

[LC75LC71]

Money. 2nd is bedroom action.

[Jeff51]

Commitment to each other

[NicholasofAustralia]

And the sad flip slide 🙃 🪙👛 *or someone cheats at some point* - hence commences the divorce. And sometimes, hell, both cheat on each other. Anyways 🙃🫣

[LiamJHayden]

Selfishness.

[Cidknee]

Pride

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

They married "too soon"?

[Tungi]

Women

[MittParekh15]

Understanding