How can I cope with jealousy toward my close friend?

[IloveMacDemarco4]

I'm very insecure and seeing her being better than me in almost everything is torturing me. I don't treat her badly because I know my insecurity is not her fault. It's so frustrating and being around her makes me even more aware of the fact I hate myself and I'm not good enough. Also, the guy that I had a crush on for 3 years started to like her recently and she didn't even ask me if I was okay (yet nothing happened between them she said that if he takes initiative she will hook up with him).

She is so fun and I don't wanna stop being friends with her but I'm starting to think it's the only option. What should I do?

[Master_Debator]

This is interesting. I've developed this theory over the years that women secretly compete with women or are like crabs in a bucket. That sort of is on display here but not really. I mean you're not talking her into cheating or being the worst that she can be yet just to keep her in your grasp.

So what is going on here, seems like you're just finding it painful that you're not measuring up to this other chick. Girl that really is a you problem and working on yourself is the only way to fix that. Bringing her down a notch or two isn't going to fix you outside of your tiny world. I suggest you start working out... like in secret. Get a bad booty going on or slim down. Put in work somewhere and start to have that edge that will make you measure up.

Because here's the facts... you're slumming it with some girl... this is why girls of any worth move out of that phase and stop hanging out with girls like some teenager with a pack of bitches. It's pretty much what young dudes do... a pack of them because they can't handle things on their own yet. The only way out of that is to work on yourself. I'm not there with you and can't identify the changes you need, but you are there and you can. You have the power to identify and change those things one by one. By the time you're done you'll probably look at her stealing your crush as a favor... because the doors to better guys than that will open up.

You'll have to do some work though... not going to lie about that. There is two types of people in this world... people who build/work on themselves to become better and those that destroy the people around them to look better. Don't be the latter.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Distant yourself for a while, work on yourself, don't break anything off just distance yourself find other focuses and about the guy, it's just one guy, there's many others, although her not saying anything about the guy is shady but you can choose to forgive if it's not that important to you

[Rei13]

The going for the guy you like if he takes initiative is pretty dirty to do as a friend. As for everything else you really should take time to yourself and work on your self confidence. Your friend has a lot of good qualities but so do you, and just because someone does something extremely well doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing bad. If this is not something you feel like you can do on your own therapy is a great option. It’s scary to talk to a professional but honestly they can help you get to the root of the problem, validate what you’re doing well and help you improve in the areas you need a little more help in

[PolarPoint]

If you don't do anything bad to her and support her in everything, there's nothing wrong with continuing your friendship. Furtermore, it would be good for you. It motivates you to improve your life. Feeling jealous is a good thing, but doing something bad because of jealousy is a bad thing.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy feelings and turn them into growth, not self‑hate.

Jealousy here is actually pain + comparison. Your friend isn’t the problem, your inner critic is. Start building your own “I’m enough” file: focus on your strengths, small wins, things you do better than yesterday, not better than her.

About the crush: that stings, hard. She knew you liked him for 3 years and still said she’d hook up if he makes a move. That’s a low‑key red flag, not outright betrayal, but definitely insensitive. You’re allowed to feel hurt and to pull back a bit emotionally.

You don’t need to cut her off, just rebalance. Spend less time in her shadow, more time creating your own lane: hobbies, style, goals, people who hype you up, not trigger your self‑hate. Distance can lower the jealousy and give you space to like yourself again.

You’re not “worse,” you’re just so busy worshipping her that you forgot to notice your own magic.

[whosnumber_1]

That's tough. You are being very hard on yourself. Try to focus more on being grateful for what you do have and not what you don't have. Gratitude is a powerful thing. If you find yourself having those feelings ask yourself, " what am I grateful for?"

I will say that if your friend knows you are interested in a guy and she boldly tried you she's going to hook up with him that is a BS move. Not really a friend thing to say / do

[TsundereMatrix]

What do you mean by better than you? Do you mean looks wise or is she better at certain activities than you?

[jahaims]

Honest introspection/maturing. Jealousy is an immature/useless emotion

[gymFreakRomanticAss]

Maybe you should expect less from your own self and be kinder to you

[Anonymous]

How do u both look

[IloveMacDemarco4]

I've heard some guys saying I'm prettier. But looks don't bother me at all

[Opinion Owner]

Then what bothers u

[ABC1x1x]

Grow up.