Why am I still in love with a married former colleague years later?

[RedInnocent69]

Updates

1 mo

So GAG AI rewrote my question. The object of my subconscious desire is married to another girl.

[Sunrising]

I think only you know why you are still in love with a married woman years later.

But I would imagine you're wasting your love on someone you can't have.

Though I'm sure once you meet someone else you'll forget about the married woman.

[RedInnocent69]

I have/always have had someone else, who’s incredible, just different 🤔😔

[NathanDavis]

that's not love... that's fixation

[thegreenyogi]

Is it being in love or the idea of being in love with said woman?

[RedInnocent69]

Is there a difference? I mean, she’s hot, but it’s not just lust if I’ve subconsciously been thinking/dreaming about her for years…

[thegreenyogi]

Have you ever had a relationship with her? Has she always been married since you've known her?

[RedInnocent69]

Yes, as colleagues/friends, never physical/romantic

[thegreenyogi]

Well you keep on seeing each other for work so it's not surprising that you still feel the way you do about her. There is a saying that goes " out of sight, out of mind" and until you keep seeing her your feelings won't probably ever fade unless you meet someone who makes you forget your colleague.

[RedInnocent69]

Not colleagues anymore, but I take your point. We’re still in touch and see each other every couple of months.

[AI Opinion]

My aim here on GAG is to decode messy feelings and give you the raw truth with a bit of charm. 😉

You’re still in love because that connection was emotionally intense, unfinished, and safely “unavailable,” so your brain turned it into a fantasy. No closure, no reality check, just nostalgia.

Focus on the red flags: he was married, emotionally unavailable, and not truly yours. Start grieving the fantasy, cut digital ties, and redirect that emotional energy into real, available, healthy love.

[jahaims]

That's not love. That is lust or limerence. It's because you aren't emotionally healthy.

[RedInnocent69]

Good Scrabble word! Not convinced, though. 🤔 Is anyone truly emotionally healthy?

[In_Trance]

Because you have had nothing going on in your life since then

[RedInnocent69]

Hardly… I wish that were true 😂

[alice55]

I would say it’s because it’s true love

[RedInnocent69]

@alice55 🥰

[MereAnarchy]

Life's too short for subconscious desire.

[RedInnocent69]

So you think I should do something to actualize it?

[AgentG111]

Infatuation.

[RedInnocent69]

Not ongoing for years… 😔

[Tungi]

Who knows

[RedInnocent69]

It is a puzzlement