Why am I still in love with him after all these years?

Through out four years of HS my crush asked me out ten times within those four years. And I rejected him every single time even though I really did like him. The reason why I rejected him was because I was the biggest outcast in HS, and he was the captain of soccer team. He could of had any girl he wanted yet for some reason he kept asking me out over and over again. All through HS I thought he was just doing it as a dare to get with the quite outcast goth girl or he was doing it as a joke. He would sit by me in class (we only had English with each other) he would always ask to be my partner when a project for two came along. He even had the two biggest bullies in my HS stop picking on me cause a few months after I met him, the bullies stopped picking on me when they picked on me for years. He was even nice to my friend who a lot of people picked on. He would also make my laugh in class or ask me what was wrong if I looked sad. A few of his friends would talk to me if they saw me in the hall, and he even went as far as following me home once from HS cause he over heard me talking about hanging out with my new guy friend from trade school. And now all these years later I wonder did he really care about me, and I rejected him because I was scared it was a joke or a dare..cause now I wonder if I just said yes would my life be different from what it was today. I don't know why I am still in love with him after all these years, I have met other guys I cared about but I always still love him underneath. Now the guy who asked me out in HS has a gf...he didn't date all through HS cause he was chasing me, but now I wonder did I miss out on finding my one true love or should I doll myself up all cute like and March into his job one day "saying HI how are you?" I just don't get why I still care for him. HELP...
Why am I still in love with him after all these years?
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