Why am I still in love with him after all these years?

[Anonymous]

Through out four years of HS my crush asked me out ten times within those four years. And I rejected him every single time even though I really did like him. The reason why I rejected him was because I was the biggest outcast in HS, and he was the captain of soccer team. He could of had any girl he wanted yet for some reason he kept asking me out over and over again. All through HS I thought he was just doing it as a dare to get with the quite outcast goth girl or he was doing it as a joke. He would sit by me in class (we only had English with each other) he would always ask to be my partner when a project for two came along. He even had the two biggest bullies in my HS stop picking on me cause a few months after I met him, the bullies stopped picking on me when they picked on me for years. He was even nice to my friend who a lot of people picked on. He would also make my laugh in class or ask me what was wrong if I looked sad. A few of his friends would talk to me if they saw me in the hall, and he even went as far as following me home once from HS cause he over heard me talking about hanging out with my new guy friend from trade school. And now all these years later I wonder did he really care about me, and I rejected him because I was scared it was a joke or a dare..cause now I wonder if I just said yes would my life be different from what it was today. I don't know why I am still in love with him after all these years, I have met other guys I cared about but I always still love him underneath. Now the guy who asked me out in HS has a gf...he didn't date all through HS cause he was chasing me, but now I wonder did I miss out on finding my one true love or should I doll myself up all cute like and March into his job one day "saying HI how are you?" I just don't get why I still care for him. HELP...

[BatDoc]

Wow, I should have really put my psychology doctorate to work so I could get paid for this.

Okay, there's a lot going on here, but most of it is regret. You regret that your own insecurities about yourself possibly kept you from maybe one of the greatest things that could have ever happened to you.

Do you know what is wrong with that last sentence? Maybe...could have...

You can't predict the future. And you certainly can Monday morning quarterback your decisions. Should you have given him a chance? Yes. That part is clear and you know that. But you didn't. And you know what, for whatever reasons you had, that was the right decision at the time for you. More importantly, you can't look back and punish yourself or regret not doing what you think you should have done.

Now about your current dilemma. I urge you to take a lesson from Rawl and put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes. How would you feel if some high school crush who passed on your boyfriend all of a sudden dolled herself up and strutted up into your boyfriend's job? More importantly, and more deeply rooted, if he leaves his current girlfriend for you, then he will one day leave you for another girl.

So where does that leave you? It leaves you in a place of forgiving yourself and finding a sense of acceptance for the situation. Things are how they are. You passed on this guy. There will be other guys. And he will always be the story in your life of the boyfriend who should have been. And who knows, one day you both might be single and you'll hit it off. But be patient until that time.

[iNick]

Okay, so this dude took time out of his day to spend time with you, made you laugh, talked to his friends about you, and had people stop bulling you. And you rejected him ten times? Wow, maybe woman really are crazy, he liked you for you, it had nothing to do with who you were or what you were he wanted to be with you, props to the guy for trying as much as he did.

If this really happens the way you say it did, I'm betting it did, not many people lie about this kind of thing on an Anonymous online posting forum, lol, then I would say at least try to get in contact with him, keeping in mind that he might, and most likely did change over the past few years since High School, and just seeing how he is doing. I would get my hopes up to high for a relationship, because it has been so long, but you never know. Just get into contact with him and see, that's all you really can do.

[lafeeverte]

I can understand why you were apprehensive. Guys can be d***s, especially in high school, so I won't blame you for rejecting him if you thought it was a cruel joke. Judging by his actions though, I think he really did like you. and he sounds like a good guy! not caring what people think and being nice to you and your friend who usually got picked on. I think you might still care about him because you're stuck on the "what if." The best thing to do is try to get closure. He may have a girlfriend now but maybe you can still talk to him? are you still in touch? Maybe you SHOULD walk into his work and be like "hey let's hang out some time." I think if you can get up the courage to just talk to him and ask him questions, find out how he really felt about you, you'll feel better. good luck!

[randomhobo]

The guy clearly liked you. After 3 tries if it was a bet or dare (and I'm talking like at least £100 here) he would of given. The fact he continued to ask you out 10 freaking times shows he clearly fancied you. Christ I've gotta give him credit for his persistence.

Now what you can do is go to where he works with a decent enough reason "where does he work" and then ask him out on a date. After catching up say something like "we should catch up more, how about over dinner?"

[523206720]

Hopefully you can meet another one like him or maybe when there is a break between these two you can try your luck with him again. I'm sure there is something special about you if he spent all that time chasing after you.

[sashafierce1013]

There's just some people who leave their mark, and he's obviously one of them.. lol I think maybe you should go to his job, and ask him to go to get coffee or lunch sometime. Try staying in contact with him, like texting to say hi at least every few days. it'll just seem friendly, and if things are ment to be he'll leave his girl friend and fall for you again... See what fate has in store for you two. :)

[TouchTheSky]

if he leaves his gilrfriend for another girl, he will leave the other girl for another so stupid lol

[unleashedsavage]

Simple.. you basically want what you can't have now. Suddenly the undesirable became the most wanted. try say hi & a hello would be good but please dnt try the ruin the existing relationship if he happy with that girl

[Anonymous]

Dang that is crazy but you should maybe get yourself back out there and perhaps some other guy will come along and sweep you off your feet but this other guy is probably married by now or something are you still in contact with him then if so try talking to him.

[Anonymous]

because you realize he was THE GUY and you've let him go.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Sounds like the guy really did like you. Just try to contact him.

[Anonymous]

whoa wait, so why did you never go out with him?!

[Asker]

Because I thought him asking me out was a joke or a dare because he was so popular and I was a huge outcast.

[Opinion Owner]

you still should've tried! that's craziness! lol

[Asker]

I know :/

[Opinion Owner]

I kinda feel your pain though :/

[COCOCHANEL]

hollywood needs this story.

[Anonymous]

well try and reocnnect or something.

[Anonymous]

because you don't want to

[Anonymous]

because you like him a lot