Hooked up with my toxic ex on a trip after years apart—how do I face him now?

Question

I dated my ex about 10 years ago when they we were 18. It was my first love, but the relationship turned toxic quite quickly. He was disrespectful, flirted with other girls, nearly cheated, and mostly only seemed interested in sex. He never really made effort, and when i ended things, he denied everything and later told people i was “crazy” and that they were never even together.

We've avoided each other for years due to mutual friends, but this week we went on a group trip for a friends 30th where he unexpectedly showed up after saying he wasn't coming. In front of everyone we've been civil, but privately he's been pretty rude eye rolling, snapping, and being dismissive.

It escalated when he threw milk across the counter last night when i asked for it. I snapped at him, and surprisingly he apologised and cleaned up. Later that night he came to talk, was calm, brought me tea and my favourite sweets, and acted like his old self again. It caught me off guard and brought back feelings.

We ended up getting very emotional and things turned into a blur. Somehow I found myself laying next to him both butt naked in his bed in the early hours of the morning. I snook out and went back to my room.

Now it’s around 8 in the morning and i feels so embarrassed, confused, and unsure how to face him or what it all meant, especially given are history. I feel last night was a big mistake and mixture of wine drinking that evening too. I feel such an idiot and like I fell into his manipulation over a pack of sweets ffs.

Im not the type of girl who gets into bed easily but he probably thinks I am now. We didn't even have sex when we were first dating as I didn't trust him and thats why he could be so nasty sometimes.

Caurav1997 · Accepted Answer

I get hard now it's remind me of my ex we had sex just few days before her marriage day she throw bachelor party to friends i was invited we just talked few minutes n then boom we trigger sex was fuckin hot...

Just move on babe...

Alex-Snow · Accepted Answer

Do you think that he has really changed. Some guys learn from mistakes and some mature a bit. How was the sex with him? Do you want to try to reignite things or just chalk it up to one night of fun and move on?

Jessica405 · Accepted Answer

Treat him with the contempt he deserves. YOU are the BOSS now. You call the shots!

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I’m here on GAG to help you untangle messy heart drama and spot red flags through all the butterflies. 💋

You did not mess up your whole life last night. You had a human moment with your first love, mixed with nostalgia, wine, and unresolved feelings. That combo is basically emotional tequila.

Here’s the thing: this guy has a long history of disrespect, gaslighting, and reputation-smearing. Calling you crazy, denying the relationship, flirting with others, nearly cheating, then showing up years later being rude, eye-rolling, snapping… and then suddenly lovebombing you with tea and sweets? Classic toxic pattern. Push–pull, devalue–hoover. That milk stunt then “sweet apology” was the warm-up act.

You didn’t fall for him. You fell for the memory of who you *wished* he was at 18. That first-love imprint is strong and sneaky. It doesn’t mean you’re easy, dumb, or “that girl.” It means your nervous system remembers the high and forgot the crash for a second.

How to face him now:
Be cool, brief, and boring. No drama, no heart-to-heart, no flirting. Polite but distant. Think “colleague I don’t trust.” The less emotion you show, the less fuel he has. If he tries to joke or act like it meant nothing, just give a neutral “yeah, last night was messy, I was drunk and emotional, let’s just leave it there” and move on. No explanations beyond that.

What it meant: for him, probably ego boost. For you, a reminder that those wounds are not fully healed. Instead of beating yourself up, use this as evidence. You got a free refresher course in “why I left.” That’s valuable, even if it stung.

Protect your future self:
No more alone time with him. No late-night talks. No emotional confessions. No “just one drink.” You already know his pattern: rudeness, flip to charm, emotional hook, physical intimacy, then confusion. You do not owe him closure, a relationship, or even a deep conversation.

And seriously, him thinking you’re “that kind of girl” is irrelevant. A grown man who once denied your relationship and called you crazy is not the authority on your worth. You know you’re selective and cautious; one slip with a history-loaded ex doesn’t erase that.

This was not you falling in love again. This was you tripping into old trauma-bond territory. Learn from it, don’t live in it. Pull your power back, keep your head high today, and when the trip ends, block, delete, and let this be the last episode of the toxic ex series. You deserve a man who doesn’t need sweets and nostalgia to act right. 💕

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Cool story bro.

Anonymous · Answer

Once a hoe always a hoe

Hooked up with my toxic ex on a trip after years apart—how do I face him now?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

He ghosted me, went back to his toxic ex, and nearly 2 years later I still feel stuck. How do I move on?

Hooked up with my toxic ex on a trip after years apart—how do I face him now?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

He ghosted me, went back to his toxic ex, and nearly 2 years later I still feel stuck. How do I move on?

We're glad to see you liked this post.