Could a throuple actually work, and what should I be worried about?

Question

Do you think it could work? I may or may not have a propositions to join a couple and become a throuple, but I have concerns...

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

can they work, yes... and I've seen it (one case) working for the right people, and in the case I know about well enough, they all met at the same time pretty much, lived together... ended up together, so let's say... they ended into one another, and it went from more of a physical thing, to a much more involved relationship thing, with the feelings and all...

I think a fair concern, would be something about this/that... since you are the joining, and proposed... are they actually considering you "one of three" are you the "plus one" in a "two + one" situation

I think these are two, very different situations... so you should at least be sure which scenario you would be walking into

besides that... it might be just the same concerns anybody in a couple would have... are they confident, or are they jealous, are they somewhat insecure? are they both really into... or one please the other? do they have experiences with it? and so on...

are they people you know well already? or are they people who you will get to know while you figure out the situation?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

You have to be very strong to do that you have to be open-minded and you cannot have any jealousy whatsoever there has to be rules there has to be understanding of what three people together really means when two of them are together and that third one is out

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Yes, I’m sure it does with the poly community and compatibility. I recall attending a poly panel during my undergrad when it was not as exposed and accepted in our society. Often, it’s about open communication, establishing boundaries and a strong solid foundation, what is okay and isn’t okay, what to do when jealously comes up, and etc. I think once you have that conversation with them and explore different values if you’re all align, you’ll find your answer :)

My sister used to always tell me, “when there’s nothing to doubt, don’t have doubts.” In other words, if everything is sailing smooth, no need to come up with concerns with what ifs and creating scenarios lol. Best of luck! :)

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

It's complicated enough to be in a relationship with two people. IF you add another person how is their involvement meted out between the other two people? Someone will get short shrift. But if you're into it, it might be worth a try if you three can work out some arrangement..

ShellyB · Answer

I think it could work in theory and I see the appeal, but with everybody’s parents, friends, jobs, social pressure I am not sure it would last forever. I fantasize sometimes about a threesome (w another girl) and I could imagine it being a LTR but I think I would prob get weird about certain things and maybe so would other people, and our parents would not like it at all etc I personally don’t think it would work for me. JMO!

Finchie40 · Answer

Anything can work if you choose it to work, but as long as they are on the same exact page as you are , if not, it won’t work. I dated a bi sexual girl once that had a girlfriend and the 3 of us ended up in a troupe relationship, for awhile things were great between us , but eventually it turned to drama and chaos , why I only will do one on one relationships now , I realized one girl is plenty for me with her 52 personalities 😂

molonski2 · Answer

Guess it depends on your circumstance..
For example , I could easily do it now ( with the right people of course ) and I think it could really work well , not sure how I would have gone at your age BUT..

I'd say this , sit down really discuss the detail and if happy tell them you'd like to try 6 months to see how it works for you.

So , if I was joining a couple it would then be MFM , I don't want to be with any guy , but I'd still need to admire him , now you would be FMF , I think you'd have to really enjoy her , not just sexually.

Daniel707 · Answer

If you feel open to it. It’s really like anything else take things slow it’s okay to have concerns you don’t know what will work unless you try it worst case scenario is that it doesn’t work and you can say you tried that.

Let’s try a date you shouldn’t jump into a committed relationship immediately so obviously you seem somewhat curious or you would have shut it down immediately. Talk to them…. hey I’m interested in a date. Now I don’t know if it’s a male female couple if you go on a few dates and you hang out I don’t know how involved you have been with them. But it could be fun and exciting

mstbooblover · Answer

Before joining a couple to create a throuple, you must know what you're expecting. Is it an occasional event to share fun occionally? Do you want a long lasting throuple relation? In the latter case you must really know very well the other two partners, and you all must trust each other.

No need, I guess, to add that jalousy in such a relationship is poison. The advantage from a certain point of view, is that two of the three partners may have fun while the third, not in the mood maybe, takes some rest. Some practical things in daily life may also become easier to handle.

In any case, managing sincerely a throuple involves a genuine mature motivation of all three parnters, and a real open mind.

MrChinaski · Answer

Yes, it is possible, and actual people actually do it. When you choose your relationship structure then everything is up for grabs. Communication and honesty are everything. You also need to let go of envy and jealousy... it's easy if you try.

Some resources:

https://polyamory.com/

https://www.morethantwo.com/

I haven't been in a throuple but have had non-monogamous loving relationships. There are others on the site living in throuples right now and are open about it.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I'm bias and completely against it cause of my beliefs but I'm going to give you a logical perspective of issues that can come from this, for this to work, it requires a specific sync thats probably harder to find with three people than it would with 2, cause now it's three brains, not 2, that's of course not mentioning things like favoritism, which people can easily say there isn't any but how people truly feel can be different, I think making the decision to use that time on a couple relationship rather than a poly relationship is a far wiser use of your time, that's of course if this is a heart invested relationship and not just some fuckfest.

siefert_S · Answer

I've found that a throuple can work as long as everyone stays committed to radical honesty and maintains a grounded sanctuary for each other. I actually thought about realizing that without mental clarity and keeping everyone's emotional tank full, things can get complicated quickly. It usually comes down to whether the foundation is stable enough to handle the extra layers of authentic communication required.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I believe it could work if the three of them were quirky enough AND stable enough, which is quite a stretch to me. Not all triangles can be equilateral, but some are, I would have to measure things enough to assume this triangle feels satisfying. And most of all, I would have to love 2 persons at once, which most likely won't happen, but that's me.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Work for who? You or the person pushing for this arrangement? Work for how long? Until one of you gets butthurt?

Sure, it may work out. But the odds are strongly against it. More likely it'll be a short term threesome for sex and nothing more. You'll get none of the benefits of being in a couple and all of the issues that come with a 3-way sex arrangement.

Jersey2 · Answer

Everything I have heard is no. I saw one in action and it destroyed a 12 year marriage in a little less than a year. It devolved into an open marriage and then divorce in about 10 months. It was bad and predictable. The wife and the other guy/trans aren’t together anymore either. Everyone is in different states now.

Jennz6 · Answer

Was part of a throuple. My girlfriend had a boyfriend and we lived together and had sex together. She wasn’t jealous when I was with him and I wasn’t jealous when she was with him. The only reason we’re not together anymore is because my boss moved me to another city.

Jay-_- · Answer

It could work, but just cause it works doesn't mean it fits, but ay that's just my opinion and I will never put myself in that predicament, to anwser a question that was never asked yes to me thats a predicament.

Again I repeat this is my personal opinion...

Zack-Bann · Answer

The question would be: why even want it?

The world is full of single men and women more than willing to be a great partner.

Why cram yourself into an existing relationship as though there’s a shortage out there

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Maybe if you all live together. But the few time I saw that it was the tail end where two of the people ended up kinda just having a traditional relationship. And sometimes the "third wheel" gets sorta cucked

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Nope.. Not in the long run.. In the short term it may seem fun, and like a good thing, but someone will get hurt or something complicated will happen.. Everybody thinks they can be different or the exception until they're not..

Anonymous · Answer

i don't think they work out long term. someone will always end up feeling left out, or as "second choice" compared to the others. but that's when real feelings get involved. when it's just about going downtown to poundtown, it can work perfectly well. 🤭

Nik1hil · Answer

Yes it can work.. But it requires people who don't have trust issue and who are "Givers" by nature.. and have low expectations in return!

AngryCarl3 · Answer

I think that will largely depend on the couple involved. It sounds like a recipe for disaster to me, but I actually know nothing about such shenanigans. I wonder what @nikki1989 would say?

lilBigPotato · Answer

Not saying that it can't work, but the chance of it lasting more than maybe a couple of years are very low in my opinion.

ThaCuriousGuy007 · Answer

As long as they all got along then sure, you all just need to communicate and appreciate each other and trust each other

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Frupple? Sounds more like a fancy fruit-juice to me...

RHK36 · Answer

They can, doesn't mean most do. Only works if there's complete honesty, communication and that everyone is in agreement to what they have.

Anonymous · Answer

It could, but I think it probably isn't likely. You could try though. You don't seem to have much to lose in this situation.

exitseven · Answer

I imagine that sooner of later one of the parties get left out in the cold.

AgentG111 · Answer

So it's okay when the females agree but not okay with a husband has a wife and a girlfriend?  Okay wow double standards.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

It could work depending on the mind set of thr people involved. They have to see each other as equals and there can't be any jealousy not even a little

ilistengood · Answer

Honestly, I've never seen one that didn't end badly. But good luck if you go for it

Hunter-40m · Answer

Why do you want that instead of having a normal relationship?

MidnightRivers · Answer

I think so, with the right mentalities and people

loveslongnails · Answer

I know of several that have outlasted the average marriage by at least 10 years.

dougeats · Answer

It. works just got to give each partner their fair share of... attention

QuietRunner · Answer

Different relationships work for different people. If you can accept all three of you, then don't

queenofcardio · Answer

It's possible so many factors to consider

DonaldDarko · Answer

Of course not its a perversion of normal behavior.

jahaims · Answer

No, that is mental illness

Still-alive · Answer

Probably. Not sure how though

smahala1991 · Answer

Could work but it's not without challenges

Sammy098 · Answer

You mean 3 people in 1 relationship?

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

TUCK FROUPLES !!!

rapfan107 · Answer

What you mean join a couple?

Anonymous · Answer

I doubt it.

Could a throuple actually work, and what should I be worried about?

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Could a throuple actually work, and what should I be worried about?

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