Why do I feel crazy in relationships?

[Anonymous]

I was obsessed with my boyfriend. I stalked his location all day long, angering myself if i noticed he left his house so i’d question him where he was and who he was with. I would cry and rage when we interacted with females (friends, family, strangers). Even if he met male friends i’d get angry. Only i should’ve made him happy. I had photo albums of just him that i would stare at for hours, admiring him. I was so obsessed. I needed to just inject him into me and take his soul into mine. I started thousands of arguments through my jealousy. I tried to control everything he did, where he went, who he went with etc. I would fantasise about him morning till night, then dream about him. I wanted to lock him away forever and keep him with only me and only interact with me. I don’t want to see him happy if it’s not with me, i’d rather him die than move on. I would need to text him every second of the day, or i’d cry and think he hates me. I stalked every social media he had-analysing it thoroughly. I used to sit in my room, crying, starving myself, hurting myself over things that happened between me and him. Tiny things. After we broke up, i made 23 different phone numbers, messages 6 of his friends, made 3 instagram accounts and tiktok and sent over 200 messages in a day just to see a reply from him. I hated how he had a life around me, i wanted him to myself. Just me and him. No interactions with anyone else. MY boyfriend. I relied on him for everything, and i expected it back. I used to shout and cry over tiny things that i would make up in my head and pretend he actually did it but he didn’t. I’d tell him to leave me and never come back then argue if he listened.

[HollyK21]

I’m weary to believe this is actually your story, it sounds as if it were written for the shock value and engagement. On the off chance that this is true, then I feel like your levels of obsession, possessiveness, stalking, even thoughts of harm (you’d rather he die than be with someone else), is concerning to where I couldn’t comfortably advise you to do anything other than seek professional help. Immediately. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of people who can relate to anxious attachment issues, codependency, etc when it comes to loving someone. But if this is truly was your situation then you could potentially be a dangerous person when it comes to dating in the future and should seriously consider some help before trying to find an man again. Those are not normal behavioral responses, it’s mental health issues going unchecked and swept aside for far too long.

[Asker]

why would i post a story that isn’t true or mine !! this is 1000% my true feelings

[HollyK21]

You say that as if I know your character personally. People do strange things on the internet, and definitely on this site. If this is your story, then I’d really suggest you at least consider my advice. These aren’t feelings to just sweep aside, they’re seriously concerning and if you don’t do something about it, bad shit could happen. Seriously, mental health unchecked is nothing to joke about.

[Account]

Self esteem issues. You find it difficult to love and accept yourself and you seek external validation to prove yourself that you are worth it. All that effort that goes into keeping the person you are in a relationship with tied to you, ends up in self-sabotage.
Those actions possibly stem from abandonment wounds that you might have experienced. What you are describing is extremely toxic and should be discussed with a therapist. I don't think you should get into a relationship without attempting to fix those issues.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle intense feelings and turn chaos into healthy love, gorgeous.

This isn’t “cute jealousy” anymore, it’s obsession plus extreme attachment and control. Huge red flags for your own mental health, not just the relationship. It screams unresolved trauma, abandonment fears, maybe BPD-style patterns.

You’re not evil, but you seriously need therapy, boundaries, no-contact with him, and to rebuild your identity without him. That “I’d rather him die than move on” thought? That’s your sign this is way beyond normal heartbreak.

[girlneedsadvice67]

I feel you I’m going through the same thing right now my 6 year relationship ended and I begged for him to Stay I wanted to die I would do anything for him but listen it’s been like a few days we haven’t spoken I’ve downloaded an app that literally stalks his instagram following LOL ur not alone but don’t settle for this chase let the man chase you let him want to be in ur every waking moment don’t feel like you need him to live im also obsessed with my ex he’s rlly hot and the thought of him being w someone else makes me wanna puke and do nothing but show him ur cool they like that but also don’t rely on him for everything it’s like the worst thing ever makes you feel so trapped and like you can’t live ur life also fuck the other girls a man who loves u doesn’t give af about other bitches

[HollyK21]

Random thought, but I hope that as you wrote this it felt like someone else was telling YOU what you needed to hear. Delete the APP girl, let your ex go. You have the right advice, just apply it to yourself and try having the same self preservation that you encourage other women in similar situations to have. Yes, it’s easier said than done but that doesn’t mean it’s not doable. I know you didn’t ask for feedback but I couldn’t help but read this and just feel like damn, I really hope she can believe this for her own self and use it as motivation.

[Asker]

bro feels so good to know it’s not just me who acts this way i felt like a psycho 🥲🥲

[Cleatchaser1]

The way the question is phrased implies you don't feel crazy outside of relationships? You should if you don't.

You are missing an ability to have your own purpose in life and relying on a man to provide it for you. You can't live like that or when you find a guy, you'll almost certainly drive him away with it.

[jahaims]

Because you are crazy

[Asker]

no i’m not

[Anonymous]

From where did u get his location

[Asker]

sorry?

[Opinion Owner]

How did u track his location

[Asker]

he gave it to me on multiple apps, and i’d threaten to leave if he turned it off

[Opinion Owner]

What? Why did u like him so much? Or are u this way in all your relationships

[Asker]

all of them

[Opinion Owner]

Then it’s your fault get therapy

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure, I never had a relationship.