Feeling Stuck in a relationship. Is this normal or am I being strung along?

[Anonymous]

Is it normal for your boyfriend to not want to make concrete plans and plan for the future? Everything is spur of the moment. He is impossible to plan with and gets annoyed if I try.

I am getting bored because I feel as if there is never anything to look forward to that we will be doing together.. I just never know. Is this normal or am I being strung along?

[definitelyNotHer]

I was absolutely head over heels in love with a guy I dated who was like this. There's probably more to the story but from my experience, I'd say dump him. Men (or people) like this aren't able to commit to a plan so why would they commit to a relationship? If you and your boyfriend are in a serious relationship I'd say run girl, this is a big red flag waving itself at you. If you're in kind of a casual or new relationship I'd say maybe talk to him and explain how you feel.

[Asker]

When I talked to him and told him how I felt he said “well you were doing well”. & then proceeded to tell me all the things he had planned that we can’t do now because I complained.

[Asker]

We had a big fight because of me bringing it up. He ended it with telling me everything was fine but now I haven’t heard from him today.

[definitelyNotHer]

Not trying to put him down but with the information you provided he seems to be manipulative and immature, it's easier said than done but i'd say dump him and wait for someone who meets your expectations.

[provokeesmokee]

It can be normal.

I can't talk about his fear of commitment, but sounds to me like he's just a spur of the moment guy while you're a planner.

It might just be a clash of personality and preference for structure.

Have you told him how his refusal to plan makes you feel? What could you two do to help you feel better, ideally while still allowing him enough spur of the moment things to keep him happy?

[Adam1978]

Well he enjoy the freedom a none committed schedule gives. He probably feel trapped if it get locked down to that and that and that. What if he doesn't feel like doing that at that time. Then it becomes a drag. First step is to understand his nature so you can meet halfway, such as only plan important things like vacations, family reunions and such.

[Anonymous]

You need to be satisfied in many different ways, you need to feel like your long term plans are being fulfilled in a relationship, so him neglecting that is as bad as neglecting dating or sex or whatever else

[TransPickle]

There's nothing wrong with being alone for a bit. I mean sure it can get lonely sometimes but it will make you feel good about the relationships you do have more. I'm 23 almost 24 now and I've never had a partner. I'd actually rather be single than with someone who isn't worth investing in tbh.

[In_Trance]

has he always been that way?

[Asker]

Yes he is super go with the flow but he doesn’t have trouble figuring out plans with his friends

[In_Trance]

So then it must be something you've said or done