Is it weird or wrong that my long-term boyfriend has female friends?

[Anonymous]

Some backstory, we’ve been dating for 7 years and not that I think he’d ever cheat but over the years, a reoccurring argument we have is surrounding his friendships with girls. I have never been one to say who someone can or cannot be friends with but I do find it odd to have friendships with girls.

Am I valid to have those feelings or should I not overthink it?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Your feelings are valid.

Valid in the sense that they can exist, freely. You can be angry, you can be afraid, you can be worried. What you're doing with these emotions and how you process them might be questionable though. But that question is between you and yourself, you and your past, you and your present etc.

Personally, I don't feel weird or wrong with opposite sex friendships, because it has been common in my surroundings since my teen years. And nothing bad happened to make me question such friendships.

[Anonymous]

Well let me say this. Doesn’t sound like he’s given you a reason to be suspicious that he’s cheated. So if you can’t trust him than you probably shouldn’t be w him. But I will also say this. Most men befriend women they would sleep w or even be in a relationship w. Are his “friends” cute? If they are chances are he’d sleep w them.

[emeraldsaphire]

Well you aren't wrong for feeling how you do, and have meet quite a few people who think you can't be friends with the opposite gender. As a bi women this always makes me roll my eyes. I have male and female friends. As does my husband. It's not a big deal.

[Cleatchaser1]

If it has been 7 years and nothing has happened and you're not worried he would cheat then what's the actual problem?

[AI Opinion]

My aim here on GAG is to decode relationship drama and calm your overthinking brain, cutie 😏

You’re absolutely valid to feel weird about it. Long-term love can trigger insecurity, especially with opposite-sex friends. What matters is behavior: clear boundaries, no secrets, no flirty texting, no late-night emotional dumping. If he’s transparent and includes you, it’s not a red flag.

Don’t lovebomb yourself with anxiety, but don’t ignore your gut either. Communicate your discomfort calmly, set boundaries together, and watch his reaction. That reaction tells you everything.

[Finchie40]

It’s ok to have opposite sex friends’ when in a relationship with someone , but it’s not ok if they are investing a lot of their time into their opposite sex friends’ while being in a relationship with someone. It comes down to respect for each other when you are in a relationship with someone , So if your boyfriend is investing a lot of his personal time into his so called girl friends’ then that is a red flag that you shouldn’t ignore. Because how would he feel if you were investing a lot of your time into so called guy friends’? Bottomline it’s disrespectful to do that to a partner , and it can definitely mean they are up to no good. Basically what your partner doesn’t want you doing to them needs to be the same boundaries for them as well, if not? That relationship isn’t going to make it. So if your boyfriend treats you like a convenience, you are best to dump his ass and find yourself a guy that makes. You his top priority , that wouldn’t put themselves in situations to make their partner feel uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

7 years a long time to still have these issues in your relationship. why exactly do you find it odd for guys to have friendships with girls? and what exactly are you arguing about around the topic of his friendships with girls? has he done something?

do you have absolutely zero guy friends? do you just drop your guy friends as soon as you get into a relationship? never talk to them again, ghost them, be rude to them? having friends of the opposite sex doesn't mean you want to bang them or find them attractive, etc. you clearly have some trust issues and you really need to sort those out with your partner. but do not think you can dictate who he can and can't be friends with based on someone's sex... i'm not sure what you find "odd" about that. don't self sabotage yourself, please.

[exitseven]

I had a few female friends. It just ended up that way. I was never romantically involved with any of them. After I got married it became a source of problems in my marriage. I sort of let these friendships fall apart. It made my life easier at a time when it was very difficult. Now that I am older I sort of wish that I did not do this.

[BadApple69]

As a guy…. I have a lot of girls who are friends. I’ve been in relationships but still kept these girls as friends. Do you know these girls? Has he introduced you to them? If they can become both of your friends that’s better. It’s not cool if he just disappears with his female friends without you or without your knowledge.

[molonski2]

I don't see the problem , it's been 7 years and you are saying " you are not concerned about cheating " , this is something personally I nearly always deal with , coz pretty much most of my closer friends are female , and they are all super important to me.

I have a few male friends , but they are not as close , I'm just much better suited to females always.

[FunkyMonkee]

Absolutely not. Why shouldn't he have girl friends just because he has a girlfriend? Why shouldn't you have boy friends just because you have a boyfriend? If neither one of you has any friends, your relationship's gonna be pretty boring!!
If you've gor girl friends but he's not allowed to, doesn't that mean you're not allowed to have them just because one of them MIGHT catch his fancy? Don't your girl friends become his friends, too? And vice versa?

[aquamarine321]

I don't support males having female friends or females having male friends, even tho some are purely from friendship, but you can never truly know, especially how people are nowadays you may never know, while some friends may know everything about your relationship and influence your partner decisions

[Screenwriter]

As long as these women are friends, they provide a man with other female points of view and different relationships than those he has with men. Some men find them enriching. I think it's pretty normal and healthy.

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

Half the population of the world is female, so no it's not weird.

Is there anything specific about these female friends that bother you? Are they super attractive, or super flirty with your boyfriend, or anything like that?

[NathanDavis]

7 years and you can't trust a person?

there's something very wrong with that

[slatyb]

You are overthinking it unless he is spending a lot of time alone with one in particular. It's normal for adults to have friends of both sexes.

[WhitneySnow]

It’s fine for your partner to have friendships with girls as long as they don’t like each other romantically

[Alex-Snow]

It is ok for him to have female friends. What is wrong with that? As long as they are not sexually involved why should it matter. It is ok for you to have male friends... right?

[Mark_Est]

Men and women can't be just friends. Should answer that clearly.

[MrChinaski]

No, it's not valid. It shows you have low self-worth and trust issues.

[LiamJHayden]

My best friend since I was four and three of my five closest are female. We are like siblings.

[Staximus]

If he hangs out with a girl and it’s just the two of them, you should be worried and get rid of him

[Smegskull]

Under the modern "No right to judge others, even our life partners." morality, yes it is wrong.
It's not weird to feel this, way but it is counter to the modern moral paradigm.

[Marriage_Survivor]

There is no such thing as a "friend " of the opposite sex.

He's high value enough he has a backup roster.

*Internet high five*

[jahaims]

If they both respect the relationship it's a non-issue

[ChadThunderCack]

Haha, let me make this clear. No dude has female friends. He probably fucking them all on a daily basics.

[Marissa4]

if you don't trust them why are with him?

[Jammannn]

Do you not have any guy friends?

[dudeinohio]

Wrong if he's in a relationship now.

[jimbob70]

What be the difference you having men friends

[Agape93]

Nope

[Hulk30]

that's valid