How do you forgive and let go of past hurt in your previous relationships?

[bobalife]

Updates

2 mo

My question is not about “moving on” it’s about “let go of the past hurt” that are like scars you hold onto and keep your guards up

Updates

2 mo

Lmao yalls the question isn’t about being stuck on a person, it’s about healing and not holding onto past scars 😭😭😭

[ohsheeT]

I look at things a lot different than other people when I've been hurt before I look at it like thank you very much because they just prove to me who they were and how much they wanted to be with me or how much they thought they could get away with something so I think them for that so I didn't do not have to live with it for a long period of time when bad things happen they happen for a reason and you have to almost think them if somebody cheats on you thank them for it because they just prove to you who they are it's better than being lied to

And I look at things Like the past is It is over the past is over there's nothing I can do about it Or that I would want to do about it It's gone forever It's too late LOL

And if you live in the past you're not living today is the day that you have today is your day because it's the only day the past is gone forever the future is not here yet so live for today be happy in this moment create things in this moment and let everything else go

When you truly love yourself And when you understand what love is all about There's a freedom with it That you experience every day Of calmness of Peace of Happiness You don't worry about things because You can't control those type of things The only thing you can control is you and the way that you love If people can't be on that same page with you it's okay let them go

Because there's a reason why they can't be on that same page but you have to find yourself 100% first and experience that freedom of love and passion and sensual touch and excitement and just pure happiness when you can do that nothing in the world in the past contains you it's over today is your day experience today experience the freedom of Love of touch of smell of a smile of speaking with your eyes and not your voice feel that energy understand that energy and who you truly are experience it when you can experience something that beautiful it's going to melt you and it changes your life

[ohsheeT]

But I forgot to say that whatever it is that we go through in our past if we did not learn from it then we worry about it and we think it can happen again well it's probably 50/50 but once you learn from something and you become more confident about yourself then the understanding and easier it really is so just let it go because today is a brand new day that was the past that was a long time ago

[Tarifa]

Scar tissue will always be there. It makes you stronger. Life is a path on which you learn. As far as relationships are concerned, I prefer to close all doors and never open them again. That's the only way to open a new door and let another person in.

[bobalife]

How do you close all doors from the past and not your heart..

[Tarifa]

You don't have to close your heart. I've had several relationships before I met the woman who is now my wife and the mother of my daughter. What I mean is that previous relationships are important in your emotional journey.

It's tough ending a relationship with someone because you realize it's not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It happened to me several times. And I wish I had had the courage to explain it better. I probably hurt them more than was necessary.

And it's even tougher when you're the one left out. It felt like the world was ending. I can't give more details here, but one of them shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. I still haven't found all of those pieces. But you close the door, have a mental reset and move on.

[whocares1972]

You can forgive someone, however it doesn't give them the entitlement to do it again!! That's where boundaries come it. Peace is more important than drama. You forgive them for YOURSELF, not for them. Sometimes people don't have a clue what they have done to us, so you forgive them , and accept the fact that they don't have the capacity as a person to understand. It's not your fault, however you learn not to give them space in your life ♥️🇨🇦🙏

[bobalife]

❤️🥺

[PeachyPie93]

Time.. You can't just force yourself to feel better about the hurt and betrayal that people you trust do to you. I always realize randomly one day it just doesn't hurt anymore and I couldn't care less about what happened..

[bobalife]

Thanks girl… I wish I knew what’s that like… when the past longer bothers you.

[PeachyPie93]

When you accept everything and not blame yourself for the things that happened it's much easier to stop caring about it. So I hope you can start healing from it soon..

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to decode love, drama, and all the messy heart stuff with you. 😉

Forgiving and letting go starts with accepting that the past version of you chose based on what you knew then. Feel the pain, name it, then stop romanticizing or demonizing your ex. Learn the lesson, spot the red flags, set new standards, maybe journal it out. The real power move is shifting focus to yourself, your growth, your glow-up. Emotional detachment is the ultimate revenge. 💋

[HawkPerception]

You accept it and the fact that it is now a part of who you are. You do not need to forgive like all the self-proclaimed-wise-people say. If someone does you an injustice, you don't turn the other cheek. But you can still move forward and leave that part of your life in the past.

You should never let the experience of a past relationship affect how you interact with others in the future. One bad person doesn't mean everyone is. If that was the case, that would mean everyone, including you is a bad person that you should not associate with. Just filter people properly. Evaluate them based on the RIGHT traits or qualities they have. Always be warm.

[bobalife]

Thank you… unfortunately people are good at pretending to be good at the beginning and at the end… they’re just the same…

[HawkPerception]

Not all people. That's a very negative mindset to have. Assess the types of people you're attracted to. Because clearly there's a negative pattern in your choices. But as you said, you're happy being alone, so 👍

[bobalife]

😂😂😂😂why you remember that? You make it sound almost bad… a girl can enjoy being single and not put herself at risk in a bad relationship. I only want one last love.

[HawkPerception]

I PERSONALLY think everyone is happier with someone, and people who say otherwise are just trying to convince themselves they're happy alone. In my opinion, choosing not to even try to find someone who can make you happy is a coward's approach and a copout. But I'm not living your life and I can't say that's how you feel 100%. It also doesn't affect my life whether or not you choose to date. If you say you're happy, then great, but I don't buy it. And that shouldn't matter to you.

But I will say that it frustrates me that so many women seem to be in the same boat. They all dated guys in the past who were toxic and don't want to try ever again and that makes it difficult for good guys to ever get into relationships.

I genuinely do wish you happiness and success in all aspects of your life though!

[bobalife]

I hope you know it was not that deep and you might be misunderstanding me lol. I was laughing bc I was surprise you remember it and you made it sound like as if it’s a bad thing. Interesting perspective, I respect it’s your opinion. However, I think that perspective only applies to /some unhappy people/ who don’t know how to be alone nor happy lol. They usually feel like they “need” a relationship. Sure, it’s nicer to have a partner to share in life. However, a person who don’t know how to be happy alone in their life that needs a relationship to be happy and it’s their sole happiness… is filling in a void and it needs some reflecting to do as an individual. It is important to be your own person and genuinely enjoy your life on your own. If someone decided to be in a relationship, it’s because they “want” it and choosing to do so. A relationship is not mandated nor is it necessary to be happy in life. However, how a person truly wanna be happy in life is absolutely define on their own and there’s no right/wrong. I never did say I didn’t want a relationship though. I mentioned I’m happy on my own and not exactly looking right now. I also said I only want one last love aka if someone right comes in and I /choose/ to want to be with them. It’s my personal opinion, and it shouldn’t matter to you too.

Yeah, same goes for both good women and men who has been hurt. We all deserve to meet good people who can treat us right. I think it’s also okay if people don’t feel like trying or don’t want to be in a relationship if they don’t feel safe with someone or found happiness on just being on their own.

Thank you for the wishes.

[Finchie40]

You don’t , once someone hurts you deeply , that scar lasts forever , in time , you might get over ot and not think about it as much, but it will always be there inside you , why I don’t take back exes that betrayed me or broke my heart , they become nothing to me

[Lesbologist]

For me... I found the shit that replays in my head over and over until I feel retarded is because I don't understand it. "What happened?" is what my human body is trying to force me to deal with.

So when it pops up, I'll really focus on it. "Oh... that bitch didn't even like me she just wanted to look good to Great Grandmother to try and get inheritance money." She never got any... fucking foster child.

Anyways... for me it's usually really cruel shit that I don't want to deal with or acknowledge. Like why'd that one bitch cheat on me, why did my psychology teacher give me an F and said he'd bump it to a C if I take another test... then gave me an A (it was a bunch of us and his black ass didn't want to fuck my butt). The shit I don't really want to think about, but for some reason I just have to figure it out.

Once I know... the cutting edge of the pain goes away and that's how I start to forgive. I still remember though

[OneViewpoint]

You don't need to forgive. Realize that holding onto some feelings isn't doing yourself any favors. Let it go for your own good. Put those people and their behavior in the rearview mirror and walk on down the road of life. Don't project one person's bad behavior onto people you meet tomorrow.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I think about what they REALLY did to me, why the did it and could I/should I have seen it coming.

And once I can answer those questions I find it becomes a lot easier. But the first step is to acknowledge what actually happened which sometimes feels unfair to yourself at first.

[Nikki1989]

"It is not how you fall down but how you pick yourself up again."

I have always had the inner strength and confidence to move on effortlessly and quickly.

[bobalife]

Same on being strong & moving on, but my question is /how/ do you do forgive and let go though?

[Nikki1989]

I just moved on from it. I know it can be challenging to forgive and forget, but it can be done.

[whosnumber_1]

By knowing that you are a wonderful person full of warmth. Acknowledge your feelings and accept that it's ok to feel stuck in your emotions.

🤗🤗

[bobalife]

Awww.… 🥺😭❤️

[Still-alive]

first i cut off all contact. After that I just go through the emotions, feel them fully. After that i may write a closure letter but not send it to them. I found that just writing my thoughts out like that works well. Eventually i move on. Maybe i meet a new girl that helps me forget what i even saw in the previous one.

[Abbycado]

It just takes time. Even amicably ended relationships hurt. It took me time.

[bobalife]

Time has passed, but the wounds just keeps me guarded. Therefore, I can’t let go of past hurt. How do you forgive and let go though?

[Abbycado]

Forgive? What exactly happened if you don’t mind my asking? That could explain a lot.

[bobalife]

Thanks girl for the love🫶🏻 it’s a little personal

[Lovesolutions01]

Sometimes the hardest part about past relationships isn’t losing the person — it’s carrying the hurt long after they’re gone.

Forgiving and letting go takes time because emotions don’t disappear just because we want them to. Some wounds stay quietly inside us: the disappointment, the betrayal, the feeling of not being enough, or the pain of loving someone who couldn’t love us the same way back.

The first step is being honest with yourself about what hurt. Not judging it. Not rushing past it. Just allowing yourself to say, “Yes, that affected me.” Healing begins when you stop pretending you’re fine.

To know more about how healthy love & relationship maintain join us..

[Zack-Bann]

I don’t think you ever truly “forgive” but with time, distance, and new experiences you come to see past drama and scars as just stories from a time you made bad choices


You let go of the past just to allow yourself to have a future


Because it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all

[queenofcardio]

It’s all about perspective. Acknowledge the pain and hurt, but don’t let it stop you from moving forward. Life is too short to dwell on the past for too long. Eventually, you’ll get over it.

[Alex-Snow]

Maybe try finding someone new to start a relationship with.

[bobalife]

Haven’t met anyone different… yet.

[Alex-Snow]

Hang in there!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I have and had nothing to forgive, my past hurt are probably nonexistent today. Or if they aren't, I don't see them within me

[LiamJHayden]

I don't hold on to such things as they serve no purpose in my life. Will I do a repeat performance with such a woman? Not a chance. Will I blame the next lady for the former's shortcomings? Again not a chance. So no purpose.

[BadApple69]

Like a bad stock market pick…. I write it off as a loss and I move on.
I never look back. Like in the Stephen King story “the langoliers” the past gets eaten behind you. You need to keep moving forward, can’t go back.

[exitseven]

It involves letting yourself feel the hurt and not pretend it never happened. Once you do that, you can start to heal.

[Anonymous]

By facing it, and the role YOU played in it. If you are unwilling to do that the you likely can't move on. At least not in any way that will benefit you and your future relationships.

[YourExLover69]

Indulge yourself in good hobbies and activities, travel, gardening etc.

[NathanDavis]

never got any hurt from it...

guess it was more of a... prevent, so there's nothing to lament...

[msc545]

Absolutely not. I forgive others, but I never forget what they have done, and I never trust them again.

[Bricealan]

@bobalife I try not to hold on, but at times, some memories are too painful to let go even though I cannot change what occurred.

[TonyMetal___86]

I don't forgive and will never accept to forgive my ex!

[beenherebefore]

I let time heal me and eventually get over it.

[Marissa4]

I go complete no contact.

[AgentG111]

To a degree I don't

[dudeinohio]

Time and new relationship

[MrChinaski]

Violence and retribution.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

[midnightmoon05]

Time.

[Zionne]

i donnntttt lol

[Anonymous]

I never actually had a relationship.